Family shares story of Alexandria man’s struggle with mental illness – Echo Press

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Jerry Buchanan, 71, of Alexandria, passed away April 28, after living most of his life with mental illness.

Doug Buchanan, along with his wife, Patty, who live in Michigan, shared the story of Jerry’s life in hopes that it might help others who are dealing with mental illness. They want to help others to better understand the disease. They want others to know they are not alone and that help is out there.

Jerry Buchanan (left), was the oldest of three boys. He is pictured with his brother, Doug, who was the middle son.

Jerry Buchanan (left), was the oldest of three boys. He is pictured with his brother, Doug, who was the middle son.

And they want others to know that even though there were times when Jerry would act out with what they described as “holy wrath,” he did so because it was what he felt he was called to do. It was what he believed was his purpose. He thought and believed with all his might that it was a higher calling from God.

They also want people to know that even though there were some pretty harrowing times over the years, in his final years, Jerry was known as a “sweet old man.” He worked at the Alexandria Opportunity Center and also read to children at Adventure Alley and would give money to people in need. He lived much of his life on his own and was able to care for himself.

Doug said before his death, Jerry lived at Woodcrest Assisting Living in Alexandria and that the staff there saw humanity in his brother. They cared for him and told Doug that it was their honor to care for Jerry.


– Doug Buchanan

“They showed so much love for him, talked kindly to him and cared for him deeply,” said Doug. “It gave us comfort knowing he was cared for like that.”

Doug said throughout Jerry’s life, he never felt worthy and that all he wanted was to feel valued and that he wanted to work for a cause. He said everyone in their lifetime wants validity, whether it is through their career or from relationships. And for Jerry, his purpose was to be a servant of God – no matter the stakes. Jerry acted on what he believed in his head, said Doug, even though at times, for those around him, it was concerning and challenging.

Late in his college career is when Doug said Jerry started to hear the voices in his head. He said Jerry was convinced that God was calling on him just like God called on the prophets Moses, Paul or Elijah.

In his younger life, however, Doug described his brother as being bright, creative, imaginative and analytical. He said most believed that Jerry had a promising and successful future ahead of him. But the mental illness kept that from happening.

When Jerry was initially diagnosed, it was determined that he suffered from schizophrenia. Later on, he was re-diagnosed and labeled as being manic/depressive.

But before his illness was fully recognized and treated by doctors with antipsychotics, Doug said his brother’s thinking and behavior profoundly affected both himself and those who loved him in very onerous ways.

Doug believes it was the turmoil of their parents’ divorce that played a role in the onset of Jerry’s mental illness. His mental illness manifested itself in religious distortions, he said.

Jerry Buchanan, in a photo from 1977, is reading from the Bible.

Jerry Buchanan, in a photo from 1977, is reading from the Bible.

Doug said that Jerry had participated in Bible studies where he would strongly preach about the conviction of sin, repentance and forgiveness and that many people, including one young woman, really believed in his brother’s mission and passion. The young woman believed it so much that she eventually married Jerry. Doug and Patty learned later from them, however, that Jerry and his wife didn’t marry because they loved each other. They married so that together, they could carry out Jerry’s mission.

After they were married and living together, Jerry would start his day by praying for three to four hours for his “desperate sinfulness,” Doug said. He remembers a time when he and Patty went for a visit and how confused and dismayed they were at how bizarre it all seemed to them.

“He had a pulpit in his living room from where he preached to us and to his wife,” Doug said. “This was turmoil for me and my wife.”

Over time, though, Jerry’s wife struggled with what was real and normal, and Doug said she eventually left Jerry and “escaped” from the marriage.

Jerry Buchanan, who suffered from mental illness much of his life, is seen in a picture taken sometime in the 1990s.

Jerry Buchanan, who suffered from mental illness much of his life, is seen in a picture taken sometime in the 1990s.

Because of his mental illness, Doug said Jerry didn’t understand that his obsessions with praying, repenting, begging for forgiveness and that his fascination with guilt and sin were not normal. And that it negatively impacted the relationships with those around him.

“He sincerely believed he was called to be an instrument through which the Holy Spirit would convict of sin, just like the prophets in the Bible and just like the legendary preachers he read about in religious history,” said Doug. “He was under an overwhelming compulsion fed by his illness and he couldn’t see life any other way.”

Throughout his life, Jerry traveled and lived in many different areas across the country. There was even a period of time where, according to a calling he believed he received from God, he moved to the mountains of Montana and lived for months in a cave. Doug said he ended up slipping off the mountain, fell into some trees and after eventually being found, was taken to the hospital.

Jerry (right) and Doug Buchanan, brothers, are pictured during a family trip to the Badlands in South Dakota.

Jerry (right) and Doug Buchanan, brothers, are pictured during a family trip to the Badlands in South Dakota.

He said their mother spent months in anguish searching for him all over the country. Eventually, she caught up with him and was able to get him the help he so desperately needed. The medication brought some normalcy to his life, but there were many times, the medications failed him. Doug said Jerry spent multiple times in several different institutions where medical professionals would work on balancing and reworking his medications.

Eventually when he got older, with legal and financial assistance made available in Minnesota, which was secured by their mother, Jerry was able to live on his own but was looked after by social workers.

At times, Doug said the relationship with Jerry was frustrating. He understood that Jerry was mentally ill, but that there were tumultuous times over the years. However, Doug said in Jerry’s later years, the two of them had a good relationship and they would talk on the phone about once a week.

Patty said that Jerry, without asking, had to live a life full of struggles.

For families who live with someone who is mentally ill, it can be hard to share. Doug and Patty said that people usually live with the fear of “what will people think?”

Doug said it is more healthy to try and understand mental illness than it is to fear it.


– Patty Buchanan

Patty agreed with her husband, saying, “It’s better if society works to understand mental illness. We all need to freely talk about it. We are talking about this ourselves because we want to help remove the stigma and we want other families going through this to know they are not alone.”

In the end, Doug said he hopes his brother finally felt the forgiveness he so desperately wanted from God. He said that on April 27, the owner of Woodcrest Assisted Living was reading one of his favorite religious books to Jerry and told him that God forgave him and that it was OK to let go.

The next day, April 28, is when Jerry died. He is now at peace and free from the disease that caused him so much distress.

National Suicide Prevention Lifelife

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Douglas County Social Services

809 Elm St. Suite 1186

Alexandria, MN

320-762-2302

Lakeland Mental Health

702 34th Ave. E.

Alexandria, MN

320-762-2400

www.lmhc.org

Region 4 South Mental Health Consortium

507 N. Nokomis St. #203

320-335-5100 – office

701-364-0431 – crisis team line

Crisis Text Line – text MN to 741741

www.r4sconversations.org

Vikingland Community Support Program

1106 Broadway St.

Alexandria, MN

320-763-6261

http://vikinglandcsp.azurewebsites.net/

Lutheran Social Services

507 22nd Ave. E. #1

Alexandria, MN

320-762-5124

www.lssmn.org

The Village Family Service Center

4133 Iowa St. #105

Alexandria, MN

320-762-8851

www.thevillagefamily.org

Solutions Behavioral Healthcare

512 30th Ave. E. Suite 100

Alexandria, MN

320-762-5411

http://www.solutionsinpractice.org/

Note: This is not a comprehensive list. Instead, it is a list of just some of the local resources available.

Continue ReadingFamily shares story of Alexandria man’s struggle with mental illness – Echo Press

heart worries increase risk for m. h. disorders

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For coffee drinkers, a common scenario might involve drinking an extra cup only to end up with a racing heart and a subtle reminder to themselves to cut down the caffeine.

But for those who have a different thinking pattern, one that includes heart-focused anxiety, the racing heart might conclude with the fear of a heart attack and a trip to the emergency room.

It turns out young Latinx adults who experience heart-focused anxiety could be at greater risk for mental health disorders.

“We have empirical evidence that individual differences in heart-focused anxiety are related to more severe co-occurring anxiety and depressive symptomatology among a particularly at-risk segment of the Latinx population,” reports Michael Zvolensky, Hugh Roy, and Lillie Cranz Cullen Distinguished University Professor of psychology at the University of Houston, in the Journal of Racial and Ethnic Health Disparities.

The population segment to which Zvolensky refers is Latinx young adults with previous trauma who were born in the United States. Their trauma might include racism-related and transgenerational stress.

This is only the second study on heart-related anxiety in the Latinx community, both conducted by Zvolensky.

“In our first study, we assessed middle-aged adults, presumably more concerned about their health. This study is unique, however, because even among a group generally too young to experience mounting health concerns, we are seeing a similar pattern, which tells us it’s probably relevant to the whole Latinx population,” said Zvolensky.

According to previous research, the Latinx population can somaticize mental health problems, meaning they don’t view them as mental health issues, but rather turn them into physical symptoms and report them as such. As an example, anxiety might be reported as a headache or a problem with breathing.

“This population also struggles with a lot of chronic physical health co-morbidities including heart disease and obesity, so this research is a good fit for a population who tends to blame mental health issues on physical ailments, which generates greater mental health risk,” said Zvolensky, who is also director of the Anxiety and Health Research Laboratory/Substance Use Treatment Clinic at UH.

To make matters worse, treatment for mental health conditions among Latinx populations is often limited or nonexistent.

“Latinx persons underutilize mental health services compared to non-Latinx whites and are more likely to use primary care for the delivery of mental health services which are often inadequate for successfully addressing mental health problems,” said Zvolensky, who created and assessed reports from 169 college-aged, Latinx college students who had been exposed to trauma.

“Results indicated that heart-focused anxiety was a statistically significant predictor for general depression and overall anxiety,” said Zvolensky.

Clinically, the results of the study could ultimately guide the development of specialized intervention strategies.

“We can screen for heart-focused anxiety and that’s much more efficient and precise than screening for a whole range of mental health problems,” said Zvolensky. “If you reduce heart-focused anxiety, you do that person a great service because you’re likely decreasing their risk for a whole range of mental health problems. And that’s called precision medicine.”

The lead author of the paper is Nubia A. Mayorga, a clinical psychology doctoral student supervised by Zvolensky.

Story Source:

Materials provided by University of Houston. Original written by Laurie Fickman. Note: Content may be edited for style and length.

Continue Readingheart worries increase risk for m. h. disorders

Teenage Depression you should be aware of

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Common Types Of Teenage Depression That You Should Be Aware Of

Teens are quite famous for their dramatics when it comes to life so more often than not when a teen says, “I’m depressed” we don’t tend to take it seriously. A teen’s penchant for exaggerating things might make a bad day feel like depression… or not.

Depression is one of the most common mental health disorders that affect people globally. While depression affects adults, teenagers, and children, the symptoms and types might differ.

In this article, I’ll help you understand the most common types of teen depression that you should be aware of and how to help your teen cope with them. The most important part of the recovery process is to identify the common signs and symptoms of depression.

Signs Of Depression In A Teen

Signs Of Depression In A Teen

The signs of depression in a teen could look like this:

  • Feeling extreme sadness or hopelessness
  • Experiencing changes in appetite
  • Experiencing trouble sleeping or keeping awake
  • Experiencing physical aches and pains
  • Feeling a lack of interest in otherwise pleasurable activities
  • Experiencing difficulty in staying focused
  • Experiencing thoughts of suicide or self-harm

These are some of the common symptoms but most of the time, the symptoms may vary depending on the type of depression.

If you think your teen is experiencing suicidal behavior or tendencies, it is recommended you speak to a professional psychotherapist immediately or contact your nearest helpline number.

Common Types Of Teen Depression

These are some of the most common types of depression in teens:

1. Adjustment Disorder With Depression

Adjustment Disorder With Depression

A major life event can result in a teen developing an adjustment disorder. Life-changing experiences such as the death of a parent or a loved one, parents getting a divorce, or moving to a new city can lead to a teen developing adjustment disorder.

The symptoms of an adjustment disorder may begin within a few weeks or months of the event and can last up to six months. It always takes time for a teen to adjust to life after a life-changing event, however, if the symptoms last more than six months, please consult with a mental health professional for a diagnosis.

This disorder, while short-term, can interfere with a teen’s daily life, school, and social performance. With the right help and support from loved ones, coping with an adjustment disorder can be easy.

2. Dysthymia Or Persistent Depressive Disorder

Dysthymia Or Persistent Depressive Disorder

Dysthymia or persistent depressive disorder is a type of chronic depression that may last for or more than a year. This chronic depressive disorder often affects teens between the age of 13 to 18. Symptoms of dysthymia may include:

  • Low energy
  • Poor self-esteem
  • Feeling hopeless
  • Changes in sleep and diet
  • Poor concentration
  • Poor decision-making skills

Dysthymia is not as severe or serious as major depressive disorder, however, if left undiagnosed or untreated, this disorder can take a serious toll on a teenager’s overall health and might even develop into mood disorders later in years. Psychotherapy, specifically cognitive-behavioral therapy is recommended in treating this disorder.

3. Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder can be identified by episodes of mania (overly excitable mood), hypomania (less severe than mania), or depressed mood. Both of these episodes may last for a few weeks or months. Symptoms of bipolar disorder in a teen can be:

  • Reduced need to sleep
  • Difficulty in focusing
  • Short-tempered
  • Talkative behavior
  • Being very happy or acting silly
  • Being impulsive

Bipolar disorder can cause a teen to experience an interruption to their daily routine. These constant mood swings can affect a teen’s academic performance as well as social life. Treatment for bipolar disorder is usually a combination of therapy and medications.

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4. Major Depressive Disorder

Major Depressive Disorder

One of the most serious types of depression, major depressive disorder can be experienced most commonly by teens between the age of 12 to 17. Young adults and teens are more likely to be prone to depression, especially young girls. Symptoms of this disorder can be:

  • Persistent sadness
  • Irritability
  • Suicidal behavior
  • Anhedonia, or lack of interest in pleasurable activities
  • Physical pains and aches

Major depressive disorder can cause severe disruption in a teen’s daily life, academic performance, as well as at home.

How To Help Your Teen?

How To Help Your Teen

As I said before, a teen’s penchant for theatrics in daily activities can make it a) harder for them to either open up or b) make it difficult for the parents to identify the symptoms of teen depression.

As a parent/guardian, you can express your concerns with your teen and encourage them to talk about their feelings, thoughts, and emotions with you. If they are not comfortable speaking to you, you can ask them to seek therapy from a professional counselor.

Offer them a safe space to speak their mind and make sure your teen understands that talking about their feelings isn’t a sign of weakness or there’s something wrong with them.

Therapies such as talk therapy, family therapy, and group therapy can help. If your teen isn’t comfortable talking to a therapist in person, you can encourage them to speak to one online. These online therapy sites provide a safe, non-judgmental space and have trained professionals to help in the healing process.

Let them know that they are not alone in this fight. You have their back and there to support them no matter what!

I hope this article helped you understand the common types of teen depression and how to help your teen deal with their depression.

For more, you can write to us at info@calmsage.com or connect with us on social media to stay updated on our content.

Take care and stay safe!

Continue ReadingTeenage Depression you should be aware of

50 good news stories from 2021 so far

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To celebrate our 50th issue of Happiful, we’ve put together a list of 50 uplifting, amusing, and heartwarming headlines to put a smile on your face

1. Music fans rejoiced as festivals such as Reading & Leeds, Creamfields, and Rewind plan to go ahead this summer.

2. The town of Tankerton, in Kent, came up with a novel way to lift spirits during lockdown. In February it turned the town’s Christmas lights back on to brighten up the dark evenings.

3. Dr Alex George has officially been appointed as Youth Mental Health Ambassador to the government.

4. As part of its efforts to become a carbon neutral company, Swedish furniture store IKEA has bought 11,000 acres of woodland in Georgia, USA, to preserve the forest after it seemed likely to be land used for development.

5. Sporting legend Michael Jordan donated $10 million to open health clinics in his hometown of Wilmington, North Carolina. His generous contribution means people who are either uninsured or underinsured, can afford essential medical care.

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6. French nun Lucile Randon became the oldest person to recover from Covid-19 in February, just in time for her 117th birthday!

7. The Bank of England revealed the new face of £50 notes, which will feature pioneer mathematician and codebreaker Alan Turing. His work to decipher Enigma machine messages during World War II saved countless lives and helped bring the war to an end sooner.

8. Free mental health text service SHOUT (85258) released a report revealing it has had more than 500,000 conversations with those in need. While the fact so many people are in crisis is troubling, having a service be there for people is welcome news.

9. In March, Nomadland director Chloé Zhao made history by becoming the first Asian woman to win a Golden Globe for best director. And in April she did it again – becoming the first woman of colour and only the second woman ever to win an Oscar for best director.

10. The ‘tampon tax’ was officially scrapped in the UK as of 1 January.

11. It’s been revealed that not one single rhino was killed by poachers in Kenya in 2020 – something that hasn’t been achieved since 1999.

12. New Zealand has raised the minimum living wage, and increased taxes for the rich, in an effort to support the most vulnerable in society.

13. Additionally, in what is believed to be a world-first, legislation was unanimously approved in New Zealand to allow pregnant people and their partners paid bereavement leave following a miscarriage at any point during the pregnancy. Currently, most employers only provide paid leave for a stillbirth or miscarriage after 20 weeks, while in the UK it’s actually 24 weeks.

14. A student from Leeds created an innovative bin bag dispenser to tackle the trash epidemic as revellers started returning to parks and public spaces.

15. As of April, footballer and activist Marcus Rashford and his fans have officially given out more than 21 million meals since the first UK lockdown. Food redistribution charity, FareShare, who Marcus partnered up with, also revealed that it’s given out 128.5 million meals since 23 March 2020.

16. Two dolphins were spotted swimming in Venice’s famous Grand Canal – an extremely rare sight, most likely thanks to the calmer waters due to social restrictions because of the pandemic.

17. Los Angeles has officially become a ‘no-kill’ city after achieving a pet rescue rate of more than 90%.

18. In an effort to reduce carbon emissions, France recently voted to ban short-haul domestic flights where the same journey could be taken by train in less than 2.5 hours.

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19. Anonymous artist Banksy has raised more than £16 million for an NHS charity through the sale of a painting depicting a little boy playing with a nurse doll wearing a superhero cape.

20. A monumental new law passed on 1 March, meaning it is now illegal for anyone to threaten to share intimate images of another person without their permission. After relentless campaigning by the charity Refuge, the existing revenge porn law, which prosecuted those who shared these images, has expanded to protect victims from the threat of releasing images as well.

21. Europe officially generated more electricity through renewable sources than fossil fuels for the first time in 2020!

22. The United Nations officially declared 2021 the ‘Year of International Peace and Trust’.

23. The public was given free reign to submit names for Scottish snow ploughs in February, with some very punny results. Our favourites include ‘You’re a Blizzard Harry’, ‘Spready Mercury’ and ‘Sleetwood Mac’.

24. An autistic teen from Scotland sent hundreds of cards to NHS Covid staff after becoming overwhelmed by statistics related to the pandemic. Paddy Joyce sent 663 individually-named cards to front-line workers at the Glasgow Royal Infirmary to thank them for all their hard work.

25. The first human trial of a vaccine for HIV is looking really promising, with 97% of volunteers seeing an immune response.

26. 95-year-old Dick Van Dyke was seen handing out wads of cash to struggling job-seekers at a non-profit in Malibu, which looks to find people local jobs.

27. Research by the Mental Health Foundation revealed that 62% of UK adults found relief from the stresses of the pandemic by taking a walk in nature.

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28. At the virtual climate summit for Earth Day in April, President Joe Biden pledged to cut carbon emissions from the US by 50–52% by 2030.

29. 59-year-old Don Muchow, who was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in the 1970s, ran 2,800 miles from Disneyland in California to Disney World in Florida to raise awareness for diabetes.

30. England’s largest ocean rewilding scheme began in April, with the aim to plant eight hectares of seagrass meadows – which are incredible habitats for marine creatures, as well as absorbing carbon 35 times faster than a rainforest.

31. Misogyny is now to be considered a hate crime in England and Wales, meaning police will investigate where a victim believes a crime was due to “hostility based on their sex”.

32. Ratatouille: The TikTok Musical raised $1 million for The Actors Fund, to support out-of-work entertainers during the pandemic.

33. A coffee shop in Kent is going ‘cup free’, only serving those who bring their own cups to the shop. Otto’s Coffee House and Kitchen, in Sevenoaks, promoted its new move by filling the store with disposable cups to demonstrate the importance of its decision, given nine out of 10 of these don’t get recycled.

34. A mystery knitter has been leaving crafted hearts and flowers around Alcester, Warwickshire, with positive reminders attached to them such as “You are loved” and “You are important”.

35. New data has revealed that in 2020 Norway became the first country in the world to sell more electric vehicles than petrol or diesel cars.

36. After spending nine months living in a caravan on her driveway while isolating to protect her 84-year-old mother, nurse Sarah Link has finally been able to move back home.

37. GCSE pupils at Frome College, in Somerset, recreated famous images out of beans and toast in a charitable fundraiser. The winner was Gil Privett with a recreation of Swan Lake, with the school donating the winner’s height in baked beans (15 tins) to a local food bank.

38. Kamala Harris became the first female, first Black, and first Asian-American Vice President in US history.

39. A colony of dormice, a protected species, that has been living next to the M1 in Buckinghamshire for five years, is to be given its own special street crossing to help the animals thrive.

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40. 100-year-old Vera Sak, from Grimsby, has revealed her secrets to long life in celebration of her milestone birthday, with her favourite tips being to “keep your brain active and eat lots of toast”.

41. Primark owner, Associated British Foods, has pledged to return £121 million in furlough payments it received during the past year.

42. With 129 billion single-use face masks used globally each month, Waterhaul (a social enterprise in Cornwall) have a project to take waste plastic and turn it into something good – every 45 face masks make a litter picker!

43. Gloucestershire-based Forest Green Rovers football club has become the first sports team in the world to go vegan and carbon neutral!

44. Tesco managed to permanently remove one billion bits of plastic from its stores in 2020. This was done by working with suppliers to reduce plastic shrink wrap, removing double lids, and getting rid of plastic bags for loose fruit and veg.

45. A recent study by the Harbor Branch Oceanographic Institute of Florida Atlantic University has found that a common antibiotic, amoxicillin, has a 95% success rate at healing a coral disease which has spread through Florida’s coral reef since 2014.

46. It’s been reported that US suicide rates had the biggest annual decline in 40 years with a 6% drop, believed to be partly thanks to increased community engagement during the pandemic.

47. Riz Ahmed and Steve Yeun have made history in the Best Actor category at this year’s Oscars, with Riz being the first Muslim actor to be nominated, and Steve as the first Asian-American actor.

48. Junior doctor Kishan Bodalia (aka DJ Bodalia) has been hitting the decks to lift spirits throughout lockdown, after testing positive for Covid-19 while working on a respiratory ward. Hosting his #NHSessions on Instagram, Kishan started doing a DJ set in his scrubs after a shift to boost morale.

49. Teenager Darius Brown, from New Jersey, hit the headlines for his good deed of making bow ties for rescue dogs to help them get adopted. He’s been making the paw-some attire since 2017, and in March revealed he’s made nearly 1,000 ties for dogs!

50. Children at Sibsey Primary School, in Lincolnshire, surprised staff one morning in January, by putting up a special display of artwork thanking teachers for their help during the pandemic.

 

Continue Reading50 good news stories from 2021 so far

Different Types Of Communication Styles

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Understanding The Different Types Of Communication Styles

Ever feel like, no matter how much you try, you and your partner cannot seem to be on the same page? Ever been told that your words come as “aggressive”?

This could be because you and your partner have different styles of communication. Communication is a two-way street and to navigate the tumultuous world of conflicts, you need to recognize the value of communication as well as the different types of communication styles.

Recognizing and understanding which communication style is yours can help you learn how to manage conflicts without further damaging your relationship.

In this article, I’ll describe the 4 types of communication styles and how to manage conflicts when your communication style is different from that of your partners.

4 Types Of Communication Styles:

Every human being has a different communication style and understanding each communication style is important to have an effective communication flow. Bear in mind that while we have a default communication style, it is possible to switch between styles depending on:

  • With whom we are communicating, and
  • What are the circumstances

Here are the four communication styles you need to know about:

1. Passive Communication

Passive Communication

People whose communication style is passive tend to act indifferently and give in easily to others. Passive communicators are “wallflowers” and tend to ignore their feelings and desires.

A passive communicator is not good at communicating openly and because of their lack of communication, conversations can lead to misunderstandings, anger, and resentment. An individual whose communication style is passive is more likely to avoid confrontations and are submissive to others when it comes to ease conflicts.

Passive communicators have a problem saying “no” to others, however, they are easy to get along with and tend to “go with the flow”. A person with a passive communication style will feel anxious, depressed, and resentful as their needs are not met.

In A Relationship: A passive communicator tends to bottle up their feelings, needs and wants and let their partner take charge. If both partners or communicators are passive then the relationship can become complicated as neither of them would face confrontation and manage conflicts. In such situations, a relationship can become resentful after a while.

Read: How To Stop Being A Doormat Personality | Think And Work On It

2. Aggressive Communication

Aggressive Communication

An aggressive communication style is a communicative style where an individual is loud, demanding, and dominating. An aggressive communicator tends to ignore others and is often controlling and commanding. Aggressive communicators do not ask questions politely and demand answers from others.

An aggressive communicator is not a good listener and often uses harsh language when communicating. A person with an aggressive communicative style usually criticizes, blames, and humiliates others. They have an overbearing presence and can often come as intimidating to others.

In A Relationship: An aggressive communicator tends to yell at their partner, refuse to back down from arguments and conflicts, and often forget to consider others’ feelings into account. They are more likely to deny responsibility for their actions and induce a sense of fear in the partner.

Read: 101 Guide: How To Deal With Controlling People

3. Passive-Aggressive Communication

Passive-Aggressive Communication

A passive-aggressive communication style is where an individual appears passive on the outside but on the inside, they feel powerless and might act out aggressively in indirect ways.  People with a passive-aggressive communicative style often feel stuck and incapable of dealing with conflicts.

Passive-aggressive communicators, instead of confronting the other person, would rather mutter to themselves. These types of people cannot express their anger. However, these communicators give their partners “silent treatment” and sabotage others’ reputations behind their backs.

Passive-aggressive communicators, while aware of their feelings and wants, are unable to express them openly. For example; passive-aggressive communicators say they’re happy to help but will complain all the time.

In A Relationship: Passive-aggressive communicators are aware of their feelings but cannot express them with open abandon. They say they are okay but will act and behave rudely and sarcastically. A passive-aggressive communicator will often give silent treatment to their partner and will say “everything is okay” but will behave differently.

4. Assertive Communication

Assertive Communication

Assertive communication style is a communication style where an individual is not shy in stating their opinions. It is an open communication style and these kinds of communicators, while open with their feelings, wants, or desires will listen to others and will avoid imposing their opinions on others.

Their communication style is not overbearing but confident. In a conflict, they aim for a win-win situation. They are respectful of their rights as well as of others. They have good control over themselves and will create a respectful and safe environment for others to communicate. For a successful and healthy relationship, being an assertive communicator is good.

Assertive communicators have balanced sharing, speaking, and listening skills.

In A Relationship: Assertive communicators do not come off as threatening but caring. They are good listeners and have strong, healthy boundaries in a relationship. They are confident in themselves and are not wary of sharing their ideas, opinions, and views when it comes to conflicts in a relationship.

Read: Beware Of These Little Things That Can Ruin Your Relationship

Communication Is Key

It is not possible to change others’ communication styles, however, it is possible to tweak your communication style to suit your relationship – whether they be at work, home, or social. As I said before, your communication style might change and develop depending on the relationship and circumstances.

Regardless of your communication style, it is important to maintain healthy boundaries in a relationship. In a confrontation, pause before you respond. Listen to your partner and validate their feelings. Everyone wants to be heard.

If you’re still having trouble with effectively communicating with your partner, you can seek professional help from a trained and certified couples counselor. You can also write to us at info@calmsage.com.

Now that you know the different types of communication styles, let us know in the comments which one is yours?

Stay happy and stay safe!

 

Continue ReadingDifferent Types Of Communication Styles