When Fun Turns Into Teenage Addiction: Signs And Tips to Help Your Teen

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The teenage years are a time for exploration, testing boundaries, and unfortunately at times, giving into the dark urges aka addiction.

Teenage addiction is not only limited to an addiction to video games, gambling, and social media but also to dark ones such as underage drinking and drugs. Regardless of its firm, addiction in teens can have devastating consequences on a teen’s mental development, health, and even their future.

If you have a teen in your life, then knowing the signs and causes of teen addiction can help you get the right support to help them and prevent any long-term effects on them in the future.

What is Teenage Addiction?

What is Teenage Addiction

Addiction is a complicated term to understand, but we can characterize it as an uncontrollable urge to use a substance or engage in a repetitive activity or behavior despite its harmful effects and consequences. In teens, addiction can damage their brain’s reward system, which can make it harder for them to resist the urge to engage in risky or addictive behaviors even when they know it’s troublesome.

Teenage addiction can be categorized into;

1. Substance abuse:

Where a misuse of drugs, alcohol, or tobacco is involved. A teen may experiment with these substances because of peer pressure, out of curiosity, or as a coping mechanism. Eventually, this misuse can become compulsive, leading to addiction.

2. Behavioral addiction:

Wherein an excessive (almost obsessive) engagement in certain risky behaviors is involved. These behaviors give a temporary high and can include gambling, social media use, gaming, or unsafe internet use. While these behaviors can be harmless in moderation, they can also cause teens to neglect their responsibilities and isolate themselves from their loved ones.

Teenage addiction is more common than you might think. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse (2020), nearly 4 million teens between ages 12–17 had a substance abuse disorder. This doesn’t count behavioral addictions, which are becoming increasingly common in our tech-driven society.

Examples of Teenage Drug Abuse…

  • Underage drinking
  • Experimenting with illegal drugs such as marijuana, cocaine, and prescription drugs
  • Smoking tobacco products such as cigarettes and vape

Examples of Teenage Behavioral Addiction…

  • Gaming addiction
  • Social media addiction
  • Internet addiction
  • Gambling addiction

Some Common Signs of Teen Addiction

Some Common Signs of Teen Addiction

The signs of teenage addiction can depend, varying on the type of addiction involved. Some common signs of teenage addiction include;

  • Increased irritability and anger
  • Increased anxiety and depression symptoms
  • Withdrawal from friends and family
  • Decreased motivation
  • Poor academic performance
  • An increase in lying and secretive behavior
  • Being dishonest about their activities
  • Drastic changes in their sleep patterns
  • Drastic changes in their weight management
  • Increased signs of fatigue
  • Bloodshot eyes
  • Changing friends or social circles
  • Stealing money or selling their things for money
  • Giving up on their hobbies to focus on their addiction

What Causes Teenage Addiction?

Several factors can contribute to teenage addiction. Some of the most common factors include;

1. Brain Chemical Imbalance

The teenage brain is ever-developing, especially the prefrontal cortex – the area responsible for decision-making and impulse control. Any imbalance in the brain can make teens more susceptible to addiction and addictive behaviors.

2. Peer Pressure

The urge to fit in or to belong in a social group can also cause teens to experiment with drugs, and alcohol, or engage in risky and impulsive behaviors. These kinds of activities can not only damage their present behavior but also leave an indelible mark on their future.

3. Underlying Mental Health Disorders

If a teen is struggling with an underlying mental health disorder such as anxiety, depression, or other disorders, then that can also contribute to their teenage addiction. Mental health conditions, especially the unaddressed ones, can cause teens to turn to substances and impulsive behaviors as a coping mechanism.

4. Family History

Having a family member with addiction can also increase a teen’s risk for the same. Genetics plays a huge, if not contributing, role in addiction in teens. Even the family dynamics a teen grows up around can affect their addiction and addictive behaviors.

5. Trauma

Teens who’ve experienced emotional or physical trauma at home, school, or in social circles are also more likely to develop addiction as a way to numb themselves from the pain of it all.

The Effects of Teenage Addiction

The Effects of Teenage Addiction

Like it or not, teenage addiction can have devastating impacts on a young soul. Some long-term effects of teenage addiction can include;

1. Health issues:

In their later years, teens might develop mental and physical health issues, including impaired brain development, increased risk of accidents, malnutrition, depression, and anxiety.

2. Poor academics:

Teens with addiction can also struggle with declining grades, trouble concentrating, and an increased risk of absenteeism from school. This can put their future in jeopardy.

3. Social issues:

Teen addiction can also damage a teen’s relationships with peers and family. They might isolate themselves, engage in more risky behaviors, and experience legal issues because of their addiction.

4. Adult addiction:

If not addressed and intervened on time, teenagers might become more susceptible to chronic addiction issues. They might face long-term consequences in their place of employment, relationships, and overall well-being.

Overcoming Teenage Addiction

Fortunately, hope is there for teens who are struggling with addiction. Early intervention can save a teen from succumbing to a forever trap of addictive behaviors.

Early treatment programs are available for teens with addiction. These programs include therapy, family therapy, support groups, and medication-assisted treatment when necessary. Also having a strong support system of friends, family, and therapists can help a teen’s recovery from addiction. Support from loved ones can offer encouragement and help a teen work through the challenges of overcoming addiction.

When it comes to overcoming teenage addiction, a teen can also work on developing healthy coping mechanisms and activities. This can include exercising, engaging in creative outlets, practicing mindfulness, and volunteering.

Addiction is chronic, so relapse is a possibility. Teaching teens healthy coping skills in case of relapse can help them stay on the path of recovery and healing.

How to Help Your Teen with Addiction?

How to Help Your Teen

Preventing teenage addiction is important. Here are some steps and practices parents, teachers, and older siblings can take to help a teen; 

1. Talk to your teen

Openly talking to your teen about the dangers of teenage addiction can help. Discuss the challenges and encourage them to express their feelings and emotions openly. Create a safe space for them to be open about their feelings and concerns.

2. Build strong bonds

Building strong bonds within the family can create a sense of community, security, and belonging, reducing the need for teens to seek unhealthy relationships, coping mechanisms, and validation. Having strong bonds can help your teen escape addictive behaviors.

3. Encourage positive activities

You can also encourage healthy and positive activities in your teen’s life to give them an outlet of sorts for their energy and emotions. Activities such as sports, music, volunteering, and joining clubs can foster a sense of purpose and social connection in your teen’s life.

4. Moderately monitor your teen

While respecting your teen’s boundaries and privacy, you can keep an eye on their activities. Setting boundaries with them, especially with their tech devices and the internet, can prevent internet addiction and protect them from harmful content.

5. Provide community support

You can also urge their teachers, school administrators, and community leaders to create educational programs that raise awareness of the dangers of drugs, substances, and excessive technology use. You can also provide mental health resources and foster a sense of empathy to help teens deal with their challenges more healthily.

Wrap Up…

Teenage addiction is a complicated issue with profound implications and long-lasting effects on a teen’s mental, physical, and behavioral health. However, understanding the signs, causes, and impacts of teenage addiction can help you – parents, teachers, and guardians – better support teens in overcoming addiction and living healthy lives. Talking to them honestly, providing them with resources, and helping them build healthy coping mechanisms can be a start.

Remember, with early intervention, the right support, and resources, you can help the teen in your life break the cycle of teenage addiction and build a bridge toward a better, brighter future.

 

 

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Teenage Angst: Is It Normal Or a Sign of Something More?

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From frustration to confusion to anger imagine these emotions heightened! This emotional rollercoaster is hard enough to deal with as an adult, imagine doing this as a teen.

This weird range of emotions – and more –  is what defines your teenage years. Because we fail to understand where these emotions come from, so what we see is what we call. While adults might relate more to “outbursts”, teens can relate more to “angst”.

Teens are typically placed under a lot of pressure while they are busy exploring their sense of self, identifying themselves, finding their boundaries, and seeking independence. Here’s when “teenage angst” steps in:  the feeling of being so overwhelmed, anxious, and feeling rejected by one’s peers.

What is Teenage Angst?

What is Teenage Angst

Teenage angst is not an official diagnosis of any kind, but it does refer to a complicated mix of emotions that teenagers often experience. This term includes feelings of anxiety, insecurity, and a constant struggle to find their place in this big world. This emotional distress can manifest as mood swings, bouts of irritability, and a desire to test boundaries.

Is teenage angst normal or a sign of something more?

What you need to understand is that a certain level of angst is normal for a teen and their emotional development. Teenagers go through physical and mental changes as they grow. Their brains rewire, making them more than just sensitive to emotional stimuli.

Moreover, they struggle with issues such as self-identity, peer pressure, academic pressure, and the constant need to feel independent. These factors combined can cause emotional outbursts and what I call “a goth phase” – a tendency to appear all mysterious and withdrawn.

However, when this behavior becomes constant and begins to interfere with your teen’s daily life, relationships, and academic success, then it could be a sign of something more serious than a heightened sense of sensitivity.

Signs It’s More Than Teenage Angst

Signs It’s More Than Teenage Angst

If it’s just teenage angst, then the signs could be;

  • Their passion or hobbies change
  • Their friends or social group changes
  • Their dressing sense changes
  • Their sleep pattern gets affected
  • Their mood changes dramatically
  • Their academic performance is affected
  • They become secretive or dismissive
  • They become rebellious

If angsty teen behavior worsens, then you might need to look out for signs of something more serious such as teen depression, anxiety, and more.

Here are some signs of teen depression to watch out for;

  • They cry for no reason
  • They feel a sense of worthlessness or guilt
  • They can’t concentrate on their studies
  • They get irritated and overwhelmed quickly
  • They become sensitive to rejection and need reassurance
  • They perceive the world as bleak
  • They turn to drugs or alcohol to cope
  • They begin to isolate themselves from friends and family

If your teen is showing signs of teen anxiety, then here are some symptoms you might notice in them;

  • They fear being away from their parents
  • They fear specific situations or things
  • They worry constantly about their future
  • They hyper-fixate on how they look
  • They feel a sense of paranoia and are on edge
  • They complain of headaches or stomach aches
  • They feel fatigued and drained
  • They refuse to attend school

Sometimes, teenage angst can turn into something more serious than depression and anxiety. If your teen is struggling with self-harm thoughts, then watch out for these signs;

  • They are vocal about how hopeless they feel
  • They struggle with mood swings
  • They are too sensitive to rejection or feedback
  • They are not eating well or are over-eating
  • They don’t show excitement towards anything else
  • They isolate themselves from their friends and family
  • They talk about suicide or thoughts of death
  • They turn to alcohol or drugs
  • They hide signs of self-harm by wearing long-sleeved clothing
  • They engage in risky behaviors
  • They give away their things to others without reason

What Causes Teenage Angst?

Several factors can contribute to the development of teenage angst. One is brain development itself. The teenage brain changes, especially in the prefrontal cortex – the area responsible for decision-making and emotion regulation. This change can cause brain chemical imbalances, making teens more vulnerable to emotional distress.

Another factor is hormonal changes. Puberty brings a surge of hormones such as testosterone and estrogen. These hormones can impact mood, energy levels, and even the way a teen perceives them. Moreover, the idea of belonging to a peer group, making friends, and getting into romantic relationships are the pinnacle of the teen years. Any kind of rejection or social awkwardness can trigger emotional distress.

Even family dynamics can impact how a teen’s transition years go. If your teen’s not getting support, love, and understanding from their family, then it’s only going to push them more into teenage angst.

We need to acknowledge that teenage angst can mask mental health disorders such as depression disorders and anxiety disorders. According to NIMH, 1 in 5 teens, aged 13–18 years – experience a mental health condition in a year. 

Helping Your Angsty Teen…

Helping Your Angsty Teen

If your teen is living through their teenage angst phase, then here are some tips that you can use to help your angsty teen; 

1. Talk to Them:

First, create a safe space for them at home where your teen can feel comfortable enough to express their emotions without fearing rejection, invalidation, and judgment.

2. Listen to Them:

Next, if they are opening up to you about their emotions, then listen to them, actively. Pay close attention to what they are saying – verbally and otherwise. Learn to read their body language and the cues they give as they talk.

3. Validate Them:

Once they are done with their expression, acknowledge their emotions as they are. Do not dismiss them as a child or respond in a way that makes them feel awkward or uncomfortable. Tell them that it’s OK to feel the way they are feeling.

4. Introduce Boundaries:

When you’re offering your support, don’t forget to introduce boundaries. Set clear expectations regarding their behavior and the responsibilities they have as a student and child. You need to let them know, gently, that they still own to take care of themselves – academically and personally.

5. Encourage Healthy Coping:

Next comes helping your teen know the best – and healthy – ways to cope with their feelings. Tell them about the benefits of exercising, doing something creative, or relaxation techniques they can practice dealing with the stress and anxiety they feel.

6. Be a Role Model:

Most of all, remember, that your child or younger sibling would be looking at your behavior to model theirs. Teens observe, so it’s on you to demonstrate healthy coping skills and healthy living when it comes to dealing with stress and uncomfortable emotions.

Get Help…

If you suspect that your teen is struggling with more than just normal teenage angst, then consider seeking help from a professional. A teen therapist or a counselor can help you find the right support, guidance, and tools to help you and your teen deal with whatever is troubling them.

With open and safe communication and seeking professional guidance when necessary, we can help our teens work through their angst with love, patience, and encouragement.

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Keep Calm & Sleep Tight: Your Guide to Beating Sleep Anxiety

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Have you ever felt frustrated with just the idea of going to bed? And I’m not talking about the good kind of skipping sleep, either! What I’m talking about is

Sleep anxiety might not sound like a formidable enemy, but it’s a surprisingly common one that disrupts your sleep and wreaks havoc on your well-being.

Today, we’re exploring the world of sleep anxiety with a comprehensive understanding of the condition, which signs to watch out for, and most importantly, how to beat sleep anxiety and get a peaceful night’s sleep.

What is Sleep Anxiety?

Sleep anxiety is a specific phobia that can be characterized by a persistent fear or worry about falling asleep or staying asleep. It’s more than just a bad night. It’s a chronic state where anxiety becomes a barrier to getting a good night’s sleep. This kind of anxiety over sleep creates a vicious cycle – the more you worry about sleeping, the more difficult it gets to catch your Zzzs, leading to increased frustration and anxiety.

Sleep anxiety can manifest in different ways and can turn a simple bedtime into something more than just stressful.

Do you have sleep anxiety? Let’s take a look at the symptoms of sleep anxiety…

Symptoms of Sleep Anxiety

For some people, sleep comes easily, but when it comes to sleep anxiety, there is an underlining of fear and apprehension. Some common symptoms of sleep anxiety can include;

  • Experiencing racing thoughts
  • Constant tossing and turning
  • Frequently waking up in the middle of the night
  • Being hyper-alert before going to sleep
  • Experiencing daytime fatigue
  • Experiencing brain fog
  • Worrying about tasks and things to do
  • Constantly checking time and feeling distressed
  • Constantly ruminating about why you can’t fall asleep
  • Experiencing a sense of fear about going to sleep

When Sleep Anxiety Becomes a Problem

We all have experienced the occasional sleep issues. A stressful day, a late-night binge-watching, or even a cup of caffeine before bed can throw off our sleep cycle. However, how can we tell that these occasional sleepless nights have turned into something more problematic such as sleep anxiety?

Here’s how;

  • The Severity and Frequency: Do these sleep issues occur most nights or just occasionally? Does anxiety affect your day-to-day life?
  • The Distress Caused: Do you experience severe anxiety around bedtime and when it comes to sleeping?
  • The Impact on Well-Being: Is your daytime performance significantly impacted by your lack of sleep? Is sleep deprivation caused by anxiety taking a toll on your daily life?

If the answer is “YES” to any of these questions listed, especially if sleep issues continue for prolonged periods, then it’s an indication that you need to speak to a professional. A sleep therapist can help you rule out any underlying medical issues before determining or diagnosing sleep anxiety.

Why Do You Experience Sleep Anxiety?

The link between sleep and anxiety is two-way. Stressful experiences in your daily life can impact your sleep patterns by activating your body’s flight-or-fight response, making it harder for you to relax enough to fall asleep. Conversely, lack of sleep can worsen your anxiety symptoms, creating a perpetual cycle.

Some common factors that can cause sleep anxiety include;

  • Stress: When you live in a heightened sense of stress, the body releases hormones like cortisol that can increase alertness and make it harder for you to relax.
  • Conditioned Response: Did you know that over time, your bedtime routine can become associated with stress and anxiety, triggering your stress response even when there are no stressors around?
  • Rumination: People with sleep anxiety develop unhelpful thought patterns about sleep itself. You might worry about not getting enough sleep, catastrophize about the consequences of a bad night, or even constantly monitor your sleep, further fueling your anxiety.

If you are struggling with an anxiety disorder, are going through something major in life, have a chronic medical condition, or use substances such as alcohol or recreational drugs, then you can be more susceptible to sleep anxiety than others.

If you or your loved one is struggling with the symptoms of sleep anxiety, then it’s recommended that you speak to a professional, preferably a sleep specialist.

Treatment For Sleep Anxiety

The good news is that sleep anxiety can be treated. With certain therapy approaches, you can break this cycle of anxiety and get the restful sleep you need. Here’s how to treat sleep anxiety;

  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT is an evidence-based therapeutic approach that can help treat sleep anxiety. CBT helps identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors related to sleep. A CBT therapist can teach you techniques to challenge unhelpful thoughts and replace them with positive ones.
  • Relaxation Techniques: Other than CBT, you can also add relaxation techniques to your routine to beat sleep anxiety. Relaxation techniques such as progressive muscle relaxation (PMR), deep breathing exercises, and sleep hygiene practices can help you improve your relaxation response, reduce stress, and sleep without worries plaguing your mind.
  • Exposure therapy: In many cases, your therapist might even ask you to undergo exposure therapy. In this therapy, you’ll be gradually exposed to situations that trigger your sleep anxiety. You’ll learn how to manage the anxiety without engaging in avoidance behaviors.
  • Medication: In many cases, medication might be prescribed to you by a sleep specialist in conjunction with therapy and sleep hygiene. These medications can help break the initial cycle of sleep anxiety. It’s important to understand that medication shouldn’t be used without a doctor’s prescription.

Self-Help Strategies for Sleep Anxiety

In addition to professional sleep anxiety treatment, here are some self-help practices to combat sleep anxiety;

  • Challenge Negative Thoughts: Learning how to identify and challenge negative thoughts can help you combat sleep anxiety. Ask yourself if your worries are realistic and what evidence is there that supports them. Whatever negative thoughts your mind comes up with, replace them with more realistic and calming affirmations.
  • Limit Caffeine and Alcohol: While alcohol and caffeine might give you temporary relief from sleep anxiety, these substances can also cause poor sleep patterns in the long run. So, limit your caffeine and alcohol intake, especially after 4 PM.
  • Keep Practicing Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices such as meditation can help your mind quiet before bed and reduce the chance of rumination about sleep. Mindfulness can help you focus on the present moment and let go of any past or future worries.
  • Create a Sleep Schedule: You can also create a sleep schedule that works for you and have a soothing bedtime routine to wind down before bed. These practices can help your mind relax enough to catch the rest it needs.

Dealing with sleep anxiety can be challenging, so it’s important to understand that you’re not alone in your struggles. Talk to your loved ones about your sleep concerns and seek help from them. You can also consider joining a support group where you can connect with others with similar concerns and learn from their experiences.

Wrap Up…

Believe it or not, sleep anxiety can significantly alter your life and affect your well-being, but it doesn’t have to control your life. Understanding the symptoms of sleep anxiety, and its causes, and learning how to combat sleep anxiety can help you break free from this vicious cycle and get a good night’s sleep.

Remember to be patient with yourself and keep celebrating the little steps you take. With the right tools and strategies you can say bye-bye to sleep anxiety!

Know that you have resources available too;

Don’t hesitate to seek help and take charge of your well-being. Seek professional help when needed. With the right help and tools, you can conquer sleep anxiety and get the sleep you deserve.

 

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Stockholm Syndrome: All You Need to Know About This Psychological Response

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the human mind shows – and has shown time and again – strength and resilience in the face of adversity.

Stockholm syndrome is one example of this mental strength. This psychological response portrays a perplexing phenomenon where a hostage or, in simpler terms, an abuse victim, develops a psychological attachment to their captors or abusers, respectively.

Today, we’re taking a more theoretical look into the depths of Stockholm Syndrome, its characteristics, where it came from, and its effects on our society.

What is Stockholm Syndrome?

Stockholm syndrome is not a formally recognized or clinically represented mental health disorder or a syndrome; it’s more of a psychological response that can be characterized by the victim’s emotional attachment to their abuser or captor. This manifests as a paradoxical blend of positive feelings like sympathy, gratitude, and even at times, affection towards the abuser amid a situation of fear and control.

This strange paradox, however, doesn’t happen in every abusive situation. Strangely enough, psychologists often consider Stockholm syndrome to be a coping mechanism of sorts. Something to help the victim feel an illusion of control over the trauma of the situation.

Stockholm Syndrome, the term, emerged in 1973, following a dramatic bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden. During a six-day standoff, the hostages began to show a strange loyalty towards their captors, even helping them with police negotiations. The confused law enforcement officers and psychologists coined the term “Stockholm Syndrome”.

What’s Behind Stockholm Syndrome?

While the exact cause of Stockholm Syndrome is unknown, several factors might contribute to this psychological response. One is survival. In any life-threatening situation, developing a connection with your abuser can be perceived as a means to increase the chances of survival. The second could be limited contact. Restricted contact with the outside world can also make the abuser the primary source of social interactions, creating a skewed sense of dependence and eventual gratitude.

Another thing that can cause this sense of connection with the abuser is the identification with the abuser. To cope with the overwhelming power imbalance, a victim may unconsciously adopt the abuser’s perspective, justifying their actions and even defending them against the authorities.

The symptoms of Stockholm syndrome can look a lot like;

  • The victim developing positive feelings towards their abuser
  • The victim develops negative feelings towards authority figures such as law enforcement officers
  • The victim begins to perceive the abuser’s motives and believes in their goals

Real-Life Examples of Stockholm Syndrome

One such real-life Stockholm syndrome example can be Natascha Kampusch. In 1998, the 10-year-old Natascha was kidnapped and kept in a dark room. The kidnapper held her captive for more than eight years and during those years, he responded with kindness towards Natascha but also threatened her with death. Natascha escaped, and her kidnapper committed suicide. At the time, it was reported that Natascha was “inconsolable”.

Stockholm Syndrome in Modern Society

While the first thing that comes to your mind after hearing “Stockholm Syndrome” is kidnapping and hostage situations, in modern society, Stockholm syndrome looks more subtle.

Research suggests that abuse victims can develop strange emotional attachments with their abuser. Sexual and emotional abuse can last for years and because of it, a victim may develop feelings – positive ones closer to even sympathy – for their abusers.

In the case of child abuse, abusers are more threatening towards the child and to avoid their abusers getting agitated, the victims remain complaint. Child abusers can show kindness, as we saw in the case of Natascha, which can confuse the child.

A more common modern interpretation of Stockholm syndrome can be seen in the way sports coaching is carried out. As a sportsperson, you can build skills and relationships with others. Sadly, some relationships there can turn negative quickly. Harsh coaching can become abusive which can lead to an athlete telling themselves that this behavior from the coach is for their betterment.

Understanding Stockholm Syndrome is important as it erases the misconception that victims are responsible for their situation. This can hinder their healing and discourage them further from seeking help. Knowing the signs and impact of Stockholm syndrome can help law enforcement officers and mental health professionals approach such situations with sensitivity and give a safe space for recovery and healing.

Recognizing Stockholm Syndrome and its impact can also help dispel myths surrounding this psychological response and foster a more supportive and empathetic environment for victims.

Treatment For Stockholm Syndrome

Treating Stockholm syndrome might not work like a miracle cure, but starting the treatment can help in the recovery process, nonetheless. Therapies that can help address the aftereffects of Stockholm syndrome include;

  • Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): This approach can help a victim identify their distorted thinking patterns and develop coping mechanisms to deal with the trauma in a safe setting and effectively.
  • Trauma-focused therapy: Another approach is trauma-focused therapy, wherein the victims process the traumatic experience in a safe and controlled environment under the guidance of a trauma therapist.
  • Support Groups: To cope with the aftereffects of Stockholm syndrome, the victim can also join support groups where they can connect with others who have experienced similar situations. These kinds of support groups can provide a sense of validation and belonging.

Wrap Up…

Stockholm syndrome is a complex psychological response and presents a strange overlay between our psyche and the need for survival. While it’s not a recognized mental illness or disorder, this psychological phenomenon can shed light on the profound impact of trauma and the coping mechanisms our mind engages with to cope with unimaginable situations.

Understanding the symptoms and reaching out for support can be important in creating a safe path toward healing and recovery from the trauma.

 

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Doorknob Confessions: Why Do We Confess At The Therapy Door?

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Have you ever done this thing where, at the end of a conversation, you keep a hand hovering over the doorknob, ready to leave, when an important piece of information unexpectedly bursts out? This has happened to me, and let me tell you; it is as uncomfortable and nerve-wracking as it sounds.

Fortunately, now I know what these situations are called! These at-the-last-minute confessions are known as “Doorknob Confessions” and these are surprisingly common, especially in therapy. But what are they exactly, and why are we so fond of blurting out these truth bombs at the last minute?

If you’re intrigued enough to learn more about door knob confessions, then keep reading to know what they are, why they happen, and how you can avoid these last-minute confessions.

What Are Door Knob Confessions?

What Are Door Knob Confessions

Typically, a therapy session is for an hour, and for this entire hour, you sit and meticulously dissect your thoughts and feelings. As this hour-long session wraps up, and you reach out for the door, a bombshell drops. Maybe it’s a deep secret you’ve held in your heart for years, a recent transgression you made, or a sudden bout of emotional vulnerability.

In any case, this sudden disclosure, right before you walk out the door, is the core of a doorknob confession.

These door knob confessions in counseling are emotionally heavy and might need exploration, but these last-minute truth bombs are revealing and challenging for you and your therapist.

Some common examples of doorknob confessions can include;

  • After being hesitant your whole session, you finally admit to having self-harm thoughts as you’re about to walk out of the room
  • After being in therapy for marital concerns, you confess to an affair that you haven’t dared to mention before
  • You, on your way out of therapy, reveal a childhood trauma incident you’ve kept secret for years

Why Do We Confess At The Last Minute?

While there are reasons for doorknob confessions, some common ones can be;

1. Hesitance to Vulnerability

Throughout the session, you get closer to a sensitive topic of your life, building the courage to address it. At the end of the session, the emotional dam breaks, which leads you to suddenly disclose something you’ve kept close to your heart for a long time.

2. A Fear of Judgment

The weight of the confession can be overwhelming, which can lead to a postponement of the same. The fear of being judged by your therapist can hold you back from talking about this moment until the very last minute of your session.

3. Attention Seeking

While not always, these last-moment confessions might just be a subconscious attempt to extend the session or gain attention and immediate support from your therapist. Again, this is not always the case, but some people take advantage of these last-minute confessions for their own gain.

4. Avoidance

Doorknob confessions can also be a way to avoid processing your feelings. You might want your therapist to learn something from you, but at the same time, you’re not ready to express or process the information. This hesitancy can also cause last-minute confessions.

Is It Okay To Have Door Knob Confessions?

Is It Okay To Have Door Knob Confessions

While door knob confessions in therapy might disrupt the flow of your session and leave limited – to almost no time – for a proper conversation, these confessions can also indicate a step in your therapeutic process. They might show your growing sense of trust and a willingness to confront difficult feelings and truths.

Doorknob confessions are a common phenomenon in therapy and therapeutic settings. Therapists understand the complex emotions that cause these last-minute disclosures. Your therapists are trained to address these confessions with empathy and ensure that there are no hard feelings between you and them.

Can We Avoid Door Knob Confessions?

Doorknob confessions can be uncomfortable and emotionally heavy. They might have an air of “unfinished business” around them. While there’s nothing wrong with these disclosures, you might learn to avoid them if you’d like a deeper understanding and attention to a particular topic. Here are some ways you can avoid making a doorknob confession;

1. Communicate with your therapist

You can work on discussing your anxieties and insecurities with your therapist about sharing sensitive or vulnerable topics before the session begins. This can allow your therapist to create a space where gradual disclosure of your deepest feelings feels safe.

2. Plan before you speak

If a topic feels uncomfortable and overwhelming for you, then bring it up in the session early. Letting your therapist know you wish to talk about something can pave the way for a more structured session and eventual exploration of your feelings, thoughts, and situation.

3. Journal your confessions

You can also write down your thoughts and feelings before your session. This can help you organize your thoughts and emotions, and prepare yourself for a more open and productive therapeutic session.

4. See if it’s a pattern

Take some time to notice if door knob confessions are a pattern of your communication with your therapist. If it’s a pattern, then you can talk to your therapist about it and explore the causes behind such actions. This can help you understand your needs and underlying motives for last-minute disclosures.

5. Consider your therapy medium

I’m asking you to consider your therapy medium because most people are more honest and open when they are in an offline session with their therapist, while others find online mediums easier. Offline therapy confessions might give you a more direct idea of your last-minute confession tendencies, while online therapy confessions can feel safe because you’re in the comfort of your home.

Wrap Up…

Doorknob confessions, while unexpected, can be a turning point in your therapy. These last-minute confessions highlight the vulnerability in seeking help and confronting difficult themes. Knowing what causes these doorknob confessions and incorporating effective communication techniques, you and your therapist can work together to move forward from these situations productively and professionally.

 

Continue ReadingDoorknob Confessions: Why Do We Confess At The Therapy Door?