Dealing with grief is very, very difficult but having to bear the loss of a sibling is especially extremely difficult. It feels like you have lost a companion. A sibling is like a part of you and dealing with sibling grief is extremely painful.
Some of us are close to our siblings and some aren’t, in spite of the kind of relationship you share with them, a sibling loss is just so different. There is fear, there is grief, there is disbelief, there are so many emotions that hit us at that point of time.
In this article, we will cover all about sibling grief and how you can deal with the loss of a sibling…
Shall we begin?
Why Does Sibling Grief Hit Differently?
The bond that you share with your sibling is very, very different from all other kinds of relationships. You didn’t choose to be together but the universe made that choice for you. You grew up together, troubling and supporting each other in every phase of your life.
You always share an extra relationship with your sibling. Other than being your sibling, they are also a friend, confidant, teacher, sometimes a parent as well. They are literally 50% of our memories and that’s what hits differently when you lose them.
They are the branches of the same tree. Sometimes it scares the hell out of you that if one branch can fall that other might soon have to face the same fate too.
Is Sibling Grief Not Being Given The Importance It Needs?
Everyone deals with grief differently, that’s understood but sometimes we forget to give siblings the time to process their feelings. When someone loses a sibling, their patients lose a child. The focus completely shifts to the parents because of course losing is a child is extremely painful.
All the friends and family members ask you to be strong for your parents. You are responsible for all the arrangements and taking care of all the people, attending to them, and making them comfortable. In all this hustle you don’t find the time to peacefully grieve your loss.
Siblings are usually expected to support the grieving family members. It’s either the parents or children or spouse of your sibling whom you are supposed to support and take care of. Siblings also require time too. I hope we begin focusing on sibling grief too, will you?
Also read: Familial Love: What Is It, Why It Is Important, And More
How To Cope With Sibling Grief?
Losing a sibling hits you deep in the depth of your heart. An older person’s death is somehow expected but a sibling is a peer. You’re almost the same age, you’ve grown up together and lived a similar life. It’s just different.
Here are a few things you can do for yourself…
- Be compassionate: show some compassion for yourself. Being kind to yourself is all you need right now. Don’t beat yours;f up for the call you didn’t answer and the silly fight you had.
- Rest: you can’t do everything at once, sit down, take a deep breath and rest for some time. You need sleep and rest. The responsibilities you are shouldering will not go anywhere, so just relax and switch your brain off for some time (not literally).
- Express your feelings: skipping the feeling of grief is not the way to be. You have to acknowledge your pain and express your pain.
- Spend time with people who really matter: This is not the time to attend people. If they really care about your feelings they will understand. Be with you friends and family, they will give you the strength you need.
- Laugh if something’s funny: enjoy your life, laugh, be happy. Don’t be guilty or enjoy the little joys of life. I know you are grieving but who said you have to kill your inner self to do that?
- Do something that both of you enjoyed: make a ritual, plant a tree every year or donate to the needy or spend time in an orphanage/old age home. Go on a vacation to their favorite place, do weird things they would have done.
- Join a support group: listening to stories of people who have been through a similar pain will give you strength. Joining a support group is always a better option and you can always make new friends.
Final thoughts…
Losing a sibling is difficult. The bond is just so special and losing a sibling is like losing a part of you. You need the time to grieve your loss, you deserve it. Life’s falling apart? You will gather yourself back together, just give yourself some time.
