November, 2023 | depression hurts us

Late to Bed, Late to Rise: Could It Be Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome?

Post author:admin
Post published:November 15, 2023
Post category:POSTS

Late nights haven’t been new to me. When I’m studying for my tests or binge-watching the new K-drama, there have been nights when I went to sleep later than usual. But if delayed sleep is a common occurrence for you, then it could be more than just being a night owl. If you find yourself lying wide awake at night when the world is sleeping, then you might be a member of the exclusive club of Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome (DSPS).

This circadian rhythm sleep disorder is not just about preferring night to daytime, it’s a biological issue that throws your internal clock in disarray. If you have this sleep disorder, then you find it hard to go to sleep at an acceptable bedtime, meaning that your sleep is delayed by at least two hours. This sleep delay can also cause a delay in waking up, further disrupting your daily routine.

While delayed sleep phase syndrome is a common sleep disorder, it can mostly affect teens and younger adults. So, do you have DSPS? Or are you just a night owl? Let’s look at the symptoms of DSPS and how you can cure it!

Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome Symptoms to Watch Out

Now, while the world is tucked in and enjoying a peaceful slumber, you’re counting sheep wide awake. This is the hallmark symptom of DSPS. If you have the delayed sleep phase syndrome, then you may experience a persistent delay in your sleep-wake cycle. You struggle to fall asleep at a reasonable hour and do not wake up until the late hours of the morning.

It’s not all about the timing, either. The delayed sleep phase syndrome comes with other symptoms as well, such as excessive daytime fatigue, irritability, and trouble waking up. Other delayed sleep phase syndrome symptoms can include;

What Causes Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome?

Diving into the causes of DSPS, it can be safe to say that not one factor can be pinpointed. Researchers believe that a combo of genetics and an imbalance in the internal body clock can cause delayed sleep phase syndrome.

Other causes of delayed sleep phase syndrome can include;

1. Hormonal changes

During hormonal development, our body’s sleep cycle becomes longer, meaning later sleep-wake time. Teens experience DSPS more as they struggle most with hormonal imbalances and changes.

2. Psychological disorders

Delayed sleep phase syndrome can also be triggered by psychological conditions such as depression, anxiety, ADHD, and even obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

3. Sleep disorders

Delayed sleep phase syndrome affects a lot of people, especially those already struggling with chronic insomnia.

4. Poor sleep routine

If you have poor sleep hygiene or routine, then you may struggle with DSPS too. Not getting enough light exposure, not having a proper sleep environment, and poor bedtime rituals can all contribute to delayed sleep phase syndrome.

Night Owl vs. DSPS: Is There a Difference?

On the surface, delayed sleep phase syndrome might look a lot like night owl syndrome, but these two conditions are not the same. Night owls simply have a preference for staying up late but can easily adapt to a regular sleep schedule if needed, but with DSPS it’s not as simple as that.

The main difference between DSPS and being a night owl is that people with delayed sleep phase syndrome cannot reset their internal clocks. Night owls can easily reset their circadian rhythm, but it’s not easy for people with DSPS. At least, not without professional intervention.

Can DSPS Be Diagnosed?

More often than not, delayed sleep phase syndrome is misdiagnosed as depression and in other cases, as insomnia. If you feel that you or a loved one shows symptoms of DSPS, then reach out to a sleep specialist.

Can Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome Be Cured?

Now that you’ve identified the symptoms of delayed sleep phase disorder in you, it’s time to look at the ways you can treat DSPS. Delayed sleep phase syndrome treatment options can include;

1. Light Therapy

This therapy includes the use of light boxes or SAD lamps to help reset your internal clock. These lamps can work well when you don’t get enough sunlight during the day. Insufficient natural light can disrupt the production of melatonin, the sleep hormone that regulates your circadian rhythm. These light therapy boxes can help fix that.

2. Chronotherapy:

You can also opt for chronotherapy where you gradually adjust your sleep-wake times by going to bed and waking up slightly later each day until you reach your desired bedtime and wake-up time. This is a good way to naturally adjust your body’s circadian rhythm without truly disrupting your sleep quality.

3. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy

CBT techniques can also help you improve your sleep habits and reset your internal body clock. Your therapist can offer strategies that can help reframe your thoughts and behaviors and help your mind adjust to the idea of proper sleep.

4. Medications:

In some cases where therapies might not work, your doctor may prescribe medications such as melatonin supplements or other sleep medications to help you regulate your sleep patterns. It is recommended that you speak with your doctor before taking any medications and only take prescribed medications.

Living With Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome: Coping Tips

Living with delayed sleep phase syndrome might not be easy, so I have some coping tips for you;

Use your nighttime energy for things that can help you improve your sleep and mindset. Write in a journal, paint, or try stargazing. Use the delayed sleep time to do something you enjoy.
Make your bedroom sleep-friendly by adding blackout curtains, noise-canceling headphones, and a comfortable mattress so that you can have a restful sleep.
Try to maintain a constant sleep schedule, even on weekends, to help regulate your internal clock. This will help signal your body constantly that there is a regular sleep schedule it needs to follow.

Wrapping Up…

When it comes to sleep disorders, delayed sleep phase syndrome is a unique one. While it may make you feel like a night owl, it’s important to know that there’s a difference between being a night owl and having DSPS. Sleeping late and waking late is not wrong, but when it disrupts your life and relationships, then it’s recommended that you seek professional help and get the right treatment.

Whether you’re a night owl by choice or by a circadian rhythm sleep disorder such as delayed sleep phase disorder, learn to embrace your sleep patterns and make the most of the time you get on your hands at night. Just remember to be patient as you work on resetting your sleep schedule.

What Is No Control Rule, And Why Is It Important After A Breakup

Post author:admin
Post published:November 12, 2023
Post category:POSTS

Whether a long-term relationship or a fling, going through a breakup after being in contact with someone and sharing feelings can be emotionally challenging. The sadness, feeling of guilt, shame, and the roller coaster of conflicting emotions and uncertainties about how to move forward often gets overwhelming.

If you, too, are confused and just want to move on, one strategy that proves beneficial in this situation is the “No Contact Rule.” At first, following it might feel difficult because you need to cut off all the ties, but the truth is that if you want to move on, heal mentally and emotionally, and start living your life, this is the best route you can take. The rule needs to be followed for a minimum of 60 days

What is the No Contact Rule?

As the name explains, the No Contact Rule is refraining from communicating with your ex-partner after the breakup. It is a conscious effort to stop yourself from contacting your ex. You cannot call, text, interact over social media, or know about them through mutual friends. The explanation might not be something you would want to follow because you are hoping to revive the relationship.

However, you must follow the no-contact rule to heal from a breakup, stop thinking about the person, or overcome the hurt, emptiness, and sadness.

Benefits of No Contact Rule

1. You will heal from the emotional hurt:

Breakups take time to heal. They leave an emotional scar and drain you mentally and emotionally. This is why you are often tempted to contact your ex, talk to them, or know what they are doing.

But if you want to heal, you shouldn’t go back to them as talking to an ex-lover often makes you revisit the painful emotion, and the hurt you feel gets intense.

In such cases, when you follow the no-contact rule, you can give yourself time and space to heal and regain emotional stability to begin the healing journey.

2. You will get better clarity of things:

When you maintain a distance from your ex, you get clarity and can think about how the relationship was. Also, you can understand the relationship dynamics you shared, allowing you to analyze the situation objectively, free from the immediate emotional intensity of the breakup. This helps make well-informed decisions, and you can decide about your future without remorse.

3. You can say goodbye to codependency:

Staying in touch with the ex can make you codependent and might confuse you, thus undermining the sense of self-worth, and you might give the relationship more value than yourself.

The no-contact rule makes you independent and self-reliant, ensuring you don’t have to seek anyone’s help, even your ex-partner’s help, to do things or explain what you need and how you should achieve it.

4. You will be able to break unhealthy patterns:

When you stay in touch with the ex, you cannot escape the things or patterns you might have developed. If the relationship was toxic or there were frequent fights, you might still be following the same pattern.

The no-contact rule in such cases helps establish boundaries and clearly states that you are ready to move on and are all set to break the unhealthy cycle of fights, toxicity, and blame and take care of yourself.

5. You will allow yourself to grow:

Being in a relationship feels great. However, when this feeling overpowers, your partner might stop paying attention to individual growth. The no-contact rule after a breakup gives you a chance to pay attention to yourself, and you and your ex can now grow as individuals.

The separation provides the opportunity to pursue personal goals, interests, and self-improvement without the constraints of the relationship.

6. You will open doors for new opportunities:

While it’s natural to hold onto hope for rekindling the relationship, the No Contact Rule opens up the possibility of new connections and experiences.

It creates the space for you to meet new people, explore different interests, and find a healthier and more fulfilling relationship in the future.

How To Resist the Temptation of Breaking the Rule?

After a breakup, many people think they can get their partner back by going cold turkey, and when this doesn’t happen, they tend to break the “No Contact” rule. If you also feel the same and want to connect with your ex, think about why you took the step in the first place. If you took it to return to the ex, you should stop following it.

However, if you follow the rule because you want to overcome the pain and heal, here are some strategies to help you stay strong and committed:

1. The no-contact rule not only helps you take a conscious break but also makes you set strict and clear boundaries. Following the rules becomes easy once you set them and are clear about the goal.

2. Spend time with friends and family members who support and encourage you. They will help you remember the purpose of choosing the no-contact policy.

3. Think about your future and how you can use the time efficiently for your betterment. The time you used to spend thinking about your partner can now be used to your advantage. This will help you gain a new perspective and think clearly about what you want and how you want things to move. This helps create a better future.

4. Connect with your hobbies. Being with a partner might have disconnected you from the things you used to enjoy. Now that you are apart and don’t want to return, engage in the activities you like. When you do what you like, you will no longer feel that something is missing. The activities will keep you occupied, and avoiding the temptation of connecting with your ex will be easy.

5. Practice self-compassion and be kind and gentle with yourself. Acknowledge your feelings. You cannot forget the person in just a day or two, and it is okay. Be considerate towards yourself. The way you used to take care of others and yourself. Write down your thoughts and emotions. It will provide an outlet for your feelings and help you process them.

6. List the reasons why you are following “No Contact.” When you feel like connecting with your ex, think about all you want and how you can achieve it. Look at the things and how they have changed for you for good. Stay present in the moment and acknowledge any urges or cravings without acting on them.

7. If you cannot control yourself, tell yourself you will reconsider contacting your ex-partner later, but for now, you will follow the no-contact rule to which you are committed. Channel your energy into self-improvement and pursue goals that enhance your well-being and happiness.

8. If nothing is helping you, consider talking to a therapist or counselor who specializes in relationships and can provide guidance during this process.

What is Emotional Labor: Types, Example and Consequences

Post author:admin
Post published:November 4, 2023
Post category:POSTS

Have you ever felt exhausted after spending time with unknown people or people with whom you can be your honest self? Where do you think that exhaustion comes from? It usually happens when you return from a social gathering you didn’t want to attend.

This exhaustion comes from emotional labor. Knowing or unknowingly we are constantly managing our emotions when we are put in an uncomfortable zone. This is because we can’t express our true emotions at the moments when we need to make an effort to cover them up with expected behavior.

We can see this very clearly in workplaces like call centers, salespeople, insurance offices, etc. These people are constantly trying to convince their clients to buy whatever they are selling. They are often expected to be as nice as possible with their clients.

Now what happens here is they are constantly suppressing their true feelings. They have to put an effort into managing their emotions in such a way that their true emotions do not surface. And that effort and management require energy and labor, called emotional labor.

What Is Emotional Labor?

Emotional labor can be described as the effort one puts into managing your emotions, feelings, and expressions. Emotional labor is most active when we interact with other people, work for people, convince clients, etc.

Emotional labor happens when you suppress difficult and negative emotions like frustration, irritation, hurt, the forced need to be pleasant, etc. Most people who experience emotional labor are experts in managing their emotions and expressions in a way that no one’s feelings are hurt.

Now, in order to protect others’ feelings, we don’t realize the pain we inflict upon us. Understandably, you can’t always express your true emotions but suppressing them all the time is also not right. Emotional labor can be dangerous for our mental and emotional well-being.

Also read: If You Internalize Your Emotions, Then You Should Try 8 Strategies to Stop

Types Of Emotional Labor

Emotional labor doesn’t really have different types because it is impossible to divide your emotional effort into types. However, the expression of emotions that cause emotional labor can be divided into two parts.

Let’s have a look at them;

Surface Acting: it is when you display your emotions publicly however your inner emotions and your outer expression do not match. In fact, such people do not even try to feel the emotions that they are expressing.
Deep Acting: when it comes to deep acting your emotional labor becomes even more intense. In deep acting one purposely tries to feel the emotions they are expected to display. For example, if you are expected to deal with your clients with a happy face, you forcefully try to be happy.

Emotional Labor Examples

Emotional labor is not a rare occurrence, many people from various walks of life can experience emotional labor. We aren’t always in a chirpy mood, however being cranky in public is always looked down upon. Therefore, we tend to maintain a pleasant exterior so that we don’t offend other people.

Let’s understand emotional labor with the help of some examples;

1. Workplaces:

emotional labor was first studied in the context of workplaces. It is believed that we need to behave or act in a certain way because you’re in a professional environment. Most emotional labor is experienced in workplaces because you can’t freely express your true emotions as there is a lot at stake. Therefore, you tend to suppress your frustration/irritation and act as if you are completely satisfied.

2. Healthcare workers:

a hospital is one place where you can witness a wide range of emotions. However, healthcare workers need to be as pleasant, kind and empathetic as possible because that’s what people expect from you. You can ask a panicky person to shut up or deliver bad news like it’s an everyday tale.

3. Political setting:

we have all heard about how diplomatic politicians are but have you ever wondered how much emotional labor they have to bear? They have to be conscious of what they say almost all the time therefore, they need to be very calculative about how they express themselves.

4. Family setting:

this is the trickiest one, your family is your top priority therefore you can’t afford to hurt their feelings. In order to protect them from emotional damage you tend to suppress your emotional needs so that you can cater to their needs. You are expected to take care of everything and everyone in the family but your emotional needs remain unmet.

Consequences Of Emotional Labor

Emotional labor can have a huge impact on your mental and emotional health. With time the intensity of emotional labor increases and it becomes very difficult to control yourself. A sudden outburst can cause even more damage.

Research says that experiencing emotional labor has positive as well as negative consequences. Let’s have a look at the negative consequences of emotional labor;

Faking your emotions for a long time can cause emotional dissonance
A prolonged period of displaying false emotions can invite identity-related issues and develop a constant state of distress
Emotional exhaustion is another result of experiencing emotional labor for a long time
People who indulge in surface acting have a tendency to develop feelings of depersonalization
Emotional labor tends to experience a reduced sense of personal accomplishment

Here are some positive consequences of emotional labor;

When you reserve your emotions only to make someone happy, it can give you a sense of accomplishment
Deep acting can help you convert your negative emotions into positive ones
Emotional labor can help you navigate your negative emotions and not give in to them

When Emotions Are Muted: What to Know About Blunted Affect

Post author:admin
Post published:November 4, 2023
Post category:POSTS

When we talk about mental health, emotions cannot be left behind. After all, without understanding the role of emotions, you can’t truly understand how mental health works. Emotions are what help us express joy, sorrow, anger, sadness, and a myriad of other feelings. Yet, there are instances when our emotional expression becomes muted.

Yes, even emotions can go mute – if only temporarily. When your emotions are muted or dampened significantly, then this experience can be termed, “Blunted Affect”.

If you barely crack a smile when you hear something good or if you barely feel sad when you hear bad news, then this muted emotional expression could be caused by blunted affect. In this article, we’re exploring the signs and causes of blunted affect and how you can treat dampened emotions.

Blunted Affect: What is It?

Blunted affect, also referred to as emotional blunting, is when you experience a reduction or restriction in outward emotional expression. If you do experience blunted emotions, then you may appear indifferent or unresponsive to situations that usually elicit some emotional response. Blunted affect isn’t the absence of emotions but rather a muted display of them.

Here are some examples of blunted affect to help you understand this muted emotional response better;

The response upon receiving news of a loved one’s death is neutral, and the expression lacks the expected grief response.
A job promotion is met with a monotone and unenthusiastic response rather than the excitable one as is expected typically.
While celebrating success with a group, the expression remains detached and unaffected.

Flat Affect vs. Blunted Affect

Because of its muted emotional expression, blunted affect is commonly confused with flat affect. However, there are differences between flat affect and blunted affect.

Flat affect is the complete absence of emotional expression. If you experience flat affect, then there is often no display of emotional response, regardless of the situation. The facial expression, the voice tone, and the overall bearing remain devoid of emotional content. Flat affect can make it challenging for others to understand what you’re feeling or thinking, making interacting in meaningful conversation difficult. Flat affect can be associated with psychiatric disorders such as schizophrenia.

On the other hand, blunted affect is the reduced or restricted emotional expression. While emotions are still felt during blunted affect, they are not outwardly displayed as openly and intensely as expected typically. If you experience blunted affect, then you show limited facial expressions, monotonous speech, and an aura of indifference to emotional situations. Unlike flat affect, emotional responses in blunted affect are notably muted or dulled.

Out of other emotional responses, blunted affect and flat affect are two of many. Other types of emotional expressions can include;

Restricted Affect: Limited emotional expression. Not as severe as blunted affect

Inappropriate Affect: Emotions shown are not always appropriate in the situation.

Labile Affect: Frequent and unpredictable emotional expression.

Signs of Blunted Affect

The signs of blunted affect can depend on person to person and situation to situation, but some of the most common signs that you might have blunted emotions can include;

You rarely smile, frown, or show facial expressions when emotions are involved
Your voice lacks inflection and emotion, almost making you sound robotic
You react to situations in ways that don’t always match the typical emotional response
Your body language seems subdued or muted compared to others with broad affect
You appear to have low energy and no motivation

Blunted Affect: The Causes

Blunted affect can be a result of mixed factors ranging from mental health disorders such as schizophrenia, depression, and autism to medications and substance abuse. Here are some common factors or causes of blunted affect;

Is There Treatment For Blunted Affect?

Blunted affect treatment can depend on what causes the condition. In any case, the most common ways to treat or cure blunted effects can be;

Psychotherapy: Talk therapy approaches such as cognitive-behavioral therapy or dialectical behavioral therapy can help you understand what causes your lack of emotional expression and how to manage your emotions better.
Medications: If the cause of blunted affect isn’t medication but mental health conditions such as severe depression or schizophrenia, then a psychiatrist might prescribe certain medications to help increase emotional expression.
Social support: Another way to improve your mood and address your symptoms could be through social support. You can build social connections with people who can help you express and experience emotions as broadly as they are meant to be.

Wrapping Up…

Blunted affect might be a complicated aspect of emotional health, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. Leaving the effects of blunted affect can impact the quality of your life, so I hope this blog helped you understand what blunted affect is, its signs, and how you can treat it.

While blunted affect can be challenging to spot and address, it’s important to keep in mind that with the right help and support, emotional expression and well-being can improve. One step at a time, right?

6-Step Simple Yet Effective Road To Become More Approachable Mentally

Post author:admin
Post published:November 3, 2023
Post category:POSTS

If you are also struggling with self-confidence or self-esteem, there could be various reasons why people do not find you approachable such as feeling inadequate, poor self-esteem, poor interpersonal skills, or underlying mental health issues (anxiety disorder or social anxiety disorder).

Whatever the reason, if you’re struggling with approachability, likability, or accessibility, I have got your back. In this blog, I have simplified the process of becoming more approachable. So, let’s get started!

Importance of Becoming More Approachable

The importance of becoming more approachable is more based on the crucial role in expressing emotions, conveying communication, or expressing feelings.

Being an approachable personality helps you show confidence and encompasses various aspects such as body language, positivity, and more which will help in gauging the responses and reactions of others. If you’re thinking that becoming more approachable might benefit you professionally, you might be partially correct.

Do you know that becoming an approachable woman or man benefits you in all areas of life? Here’s how becoming approachable benefits you:

Approachable appearance puts people at ease to communicate with you as it also makes you more accessible.
Approachable appearance helps in fostering healthy connections and relationships.
In professional backgrounds, an approachable appearance helps promote networking, promotions, collaborations, or growth.
In social backgrounds, an approachable appearance helps you promote more healthy friends and connections, reduce isolation, and receive more invites.

6-Step Simple Road to Become Approachable Woman or Man

If you think you’re not approachable and if it affects you mentally, here’s your simple yet effective guide to becoming approachable, boosting self-confidence, and improving body language.

Step 1: Smile more

When I smile more often, I am surely not asking you to overdo it. All I am asking you to maintain is a genuine smile with a hint of kindness so that you can radiate positive vibes.

Do not force a smile, instead keep it more genuine to foster positive connections, maintain healthy relationships with people, and excel in both personal and professional backgrounds.

The power of a smile helps us to be naturally attracted to people we really want in life. In addition, it also helps in keeping your mental and physical health intact.

Step 2: Be kind and accessible to others

If you do not look approachable to others, it can be the reason that you’re always on your phone, and lack expressions or body language to repel you from others.

Therefore, start with small and begin with kindness. While you start practicing kindness, also be accessible to others. In this way, you’ll be able to provide your extended support to people and it will eventually help you to make room for yourself in their hearts.

If possible, start helping or supporting people in every way possible. Be open to others so that you can enhance the approachability factor within you.

Step 3: Avoid stressors and work on your body language

While you step into the process of becoming more approachable, work on your body language. If you get nervous or stressed after seeing strangers, avoid stressors by trying relaxation or stress management techniques.

Additionally, you can also begin with small moves, such as keeping your head up in social situations, smiling at strangers, or maintaining eye contact positively.

Step 4: Learn to maintain eye contact and improve your self-esteem

Even when you’re not talking or having a conversation with someone, follow the thumb rule of maintaining eye contact so that you can appear more interested and trustworthy to others.

Even if you’re struggling with social anxiety or any other type of anxiety, try to smile and look into the eyes so that they can’t spot any difference and indirectly it will help in boosting self-confidence as well.

Step 5: Be a good listener

When in a conversation or while listening to others, be a good listener. You can simply nod during conversations to look attentive, focused, or interested.

It will help you foster positive relationships with others. Additionally, try to ask open-ended questions or summarize the whole conversation to look non-judgmental, positive, enthusiastic, empathetic, or trustworthy.

Step 6: Keep your humorous and empathetic side active

Now, you really need to keep your senses active and play a little smart at this step. During serious conversations, you’ll have to use humor or empathy accurately to sound more confident, attractive, and positive.

Try to add humor or empathy with positive body language, mirroring the other person, and nodding.

5 Important Factors that Increase Approachability

Here’s your key guide to becoming approachable with accuracy and positivity.