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10 Hidden Sources of Emotional Baggage You Should Know About

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Sources-of-Emotional-Baggage

As experts understand, emotional baggage is any unaddressed or unfinished emotional stressors and wounds that take up space in our hearts and minds, causing distress in our present – either intentionally or unintentionally. Over the years, the term “emotional baggage” has come to be associated with negative implications that have a direct influence on our lives.

Here’s an example of emotional baggage or trauma and how it affects us; If someone has been neglected or emotionally abused as a child by a parental figure, say for example a father, then they may develop “daddy issues”, making it harder for them to trust older men.

However, this is a very obvious cause and type of emotional baggage that affects our life, and particularly, our relationships. The emotional baggage that most of us cart along with us is tied to unresolved trauma. Childhood neglect, abuse, trauma, or other negative experiences that are unaddressed and unresolved still are just the most obvious ones.

Some sources of emotional baggage go beyond these obvious ones and that’s what we’re exploring in this article. Let’s take a look at the 10 hidden sources of emotional baggage and how to get rid of them.

Hidden Sources of Emotional Baggage

1. Childhood Emotional Manipulation

Childhood abuse is not just physical or verbal, but can also be emotional. Emotional manipulation is subtle and the damage this abuse causes is not even realized until adulthood. You might have a great relationship with your parents, but still can’t understand where the anxiety and anger come from.

For example; if you’ve been raised on constant criticism, then you constantly think that you’re not good enough. Or if you were upset as a child, then you were not encouraged to express your emotions freely and now you repress your emotions.

2. Microaggression

Just like what we think about abuse, we think about discrimination and microaggression. Microaggressions are very subtle and can stick to our subconscious mind well into our adulthood. Examples of microaggression can include;

  • Being questioned about your experiences
  • Having your ideas and opinions dismissed without reason
  • Facing subtle discrimination, racism, and stigma

These kinds of microaggressions can eventually pile up and take home in your mind, causing your emotional baggage to get heavy.

3. Being a Victim/Witness of a Crime

Yes, even when you witness or are a victim of a crime, it can add to your emotional wounds and stressors. Here’s an example; if you’ve ever experienced Breaking and Entering, then you might not feel safe in your home. Just like that, if you’ve ever been scammed or betrayed, then you might develop trust issues and feel wary of developing new relationships as you feel emotionally unsafe.

4. Mistreatment

In a physical brawl, you can be interrupted by another, right? To stop things from escalating? But what if you’re not? What if you’re hit badly? Well, in that situation, you’re likely to remember the trauma of it, days and weeks after the fact.

Now, imagine an emotional conflict. In an emotional conflict, if the conflict is unresolved, what will happen? The mistreatment can wear on you and if not resolved, can become a source of emotional baggage.

5. Fear or Threat to Well-Being

The fear or threat to your well-being can also be another overlooked source of emotional baggage. Maybe you’ve had to deal with a chronic illness or a life-threatening illness for some time. That’s bound to leave some emotional wounds, right?

Maybe after being optimistic about things, you lost a loved one to an illness. This can cause a sort of paranoia in some people, adding to the weight of their emotional baggage.

6. Self-Criticism

Negative words spoken by yourself or others can also cause emotional wounds, hard to erase. Constant criticism as a child can bleed into adulthood and haunt you for the rest of your life if not addressed.

For example; as a child, you had braces and were made fun of by your family and friends for having crooked teeth. This kind of mockery, even as an adult with a perfect set of teeth, can cause self-criticism and worry.

7. Fear of The Unknown

When you feel insecure about your future, it can cause anxiety and emotional instability. The fear of the unknown is another hidden source of emotional baggage that we’ve failed to understand and recognize. Some people are afraid of the effects of climate change, natural disasters, etc., and have become paranoid or anxious about it. This fear can also influence the way you live your life.

8. Living on Others’ Expectations

Another overlooked source of emotional baggage you should know about is; expectations. Not just yours but others’ expectations. While it’s easy to see how social media has allowed us to stay in touch with others, it has also encouraged us to set expectations and live on others’ expectations.

You may feel that you’re unloved because you don’t fit the cultural or societal norms. Or feel alienated because you like different things. This kind of expectation can eventually weigh you down and add to your emotional wounds more, causing depression, anxiety, social disorders, etc.

9. Guilt And Regrets

Sometimes the weight we carry around has nothing to do with what others have done to us but what we have done to others. Guilt and regrets can be the causes of emotional baggage too. For example; you may have unintentionally or intentionally manipulated your previous partner because you were upset and now it’s the guilt of doing something wrong that’s eating you.

This kind of regret can play on a loop in your mind and add to your distress. While it’s not possible to go back and change things, you still have an opportunity to change, so take it while you can.

10. Victimhood

Some people use their victimhood as an honorable thing to elevate sympathy and pity in others. For example; At some point, you may have experienced something upsetting in life and you’ve decided that that experience has scarred you for life.

This makes you want to receive sympathy and pity from others. You may also believe that you have a right to be pitied because of all your bad experiences. You may not realize this, but at some point, you may stop caring about others’ experiences and suffering because “it can’t be greater than yours”.

This is just another example of emotional baggage. This victimhood can stop you from living as your true self and can eventually affect your life and relationships. After all, who wants a partner who complains all the time?

What Next?

Just like any other baggage, it’s easier to haul around your emotional baggage than empty it to make space for uncomfortable emotions. However, just like any other baggage, you don’t have to carry your emotional baggage around forever. With time and patience, learn to resolve your unaddressed trauma and emotional stressors to feel lighter. Trust me, once you learn to empty your emotional baggage, you’ll feel light-hearted, instantly.

One of the most important ways of letting emotional baggage go is by identifying the sources of emotional baggage, noticing its influence on your relationships, and slowly letting go of unresolved emotions. If you need it, then you can ask for help from a mental health professional. It’s OK to reach out for help!

 

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Researchers develop blood test for anxiety

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Researchers from Indiana University School of Medicine have successfully developed a blood test for anxiety. The test examines biomarkers that can help them objectively determine someone’s risk for developing anxiety, the severity of their current anxiety, and which therapies would likely treat their anxiety the best.

Now that the test has been validated by researchers, it is currently being developed for wider use by physicians by MindX Sciences.

“Many people are suffering from anxiety, which can be very disabling and interfere with daily life,” said professor of psychiatry Alexander Niculescu, MD, Ph.D. “The current approach is to talk to people about how they feel to see if they could be on medications, but some medications can be addictive and create more problems. We wanted to see if our approach to identifying blood biomarkers could help us match people to existing medications that will work better and could be a non-addictive choice.”

Niculescu’s past research has led to the development of blood tests for pain, depression/bipolar disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder. This latest work, published in Molecular Psychiatry, uses similar methods for anxiety. The study included three independent cohorts — discovery, validation, and testing. Participants would complete a blood test every 3-6 months or whenever a new psychiatric hospitalization occurred. By examining the RNA biomarkers in the blood, researchers could identify a patient’s current state of anxiety and matches them with medications and nutraceuticals, showing how effective different options could be for them based on their biology.

“In addition to medications, there are other methods to treat anxiety, such as cognitive behavioral therapy or lifestyle changes,” Niculescu said. “But having something objective like this where we can know what someone’s current state is as well as their future risk and what treatment options match their profile is very powerful in helping people.”

A person’s biomarkers can also change over time. Niculescu said the test can help evaluate a person’s risk of developing higher levels of anxiety in the future as well as how other factors might impact their anxiety, like hormonal changes.

“There are people who have anxiety and it is not properly diagnosed, then they have panic attacks, but think they’re having a heart attack and up in the ER with all sorts of physical symptoms,” Niculescu said. “If we can know that earlier, then we can hopefully avoid this pain and suffering and treat them earlier with something that matches their profile.”

Niculescu said this new test could also be used in combination with the other blood tests his research has led to, providing a more comprehensive view of a patient’s mental health and risk of future mental health concerns. Researchers can also use the test to develop new treatments for anxiety that are more targeted to individual biomarkers.

“This is something that could be a panel test as part of a patient’s regular wellness visits to evaluate their mental health over time and prevent any future distress,” Niculescu said. “Prevention is better in the long run, so our goal is to be able to provide a comprehensive report for patients and their physicians using simply one tube of blood.”

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Understanding Olfactory Reference Syndrome ; It’s Treatment

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Understanding Olfactory Reference Syndrome

Understanding-Olfactory-Reference-Syndrome--Its-Treatment

Do you have friends who constantly use deodorants or frequently enquire about their body odor? If yes there is a chance of them struggling with olfactory reference syndrome. It is one of the most under-recognized psychiatric conditions.

Olfactory reference syndrome is also confused with a lot of other psychiatric conditions like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), body dysmorphic disorder (BDD),  bromidrophobia, and a Japanese condition called Jiko-shu-kyofu.

However, many people have intrusive thoughts about having a bad body odor but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have Olfactory reference syndrome. When you develop irrational and obsessive thoughts about body odor and they start interfering with your daily life is a call for psychiatric attention.

Let’s explore all characteristics of Olfactory reference syndrome and how to treat olfactory reference syndrome…

What Is Olfactory Reference Syndrome?

Olfactory-Reference-Syndrome

Olfactory reference syndrome is also known as olfactory reference disorder. It can be characterized by an irrational obsession with being a foul-smelling person. They are constantly worried about various body odors coming from their armpits, sweat glands, or anal or vaginal odor.

Olfactory reference syndrome is a condition that feels very similar to having a phobia. An individual with olfactory reference syndrome is so scared of smelling bad that they can go to any lengths not to smell bad.

The preoccupation and obsession over their body odor are so irrational yet intense that they get anxious around people. They might quit going to games or refuse to dance even when their crush calls them.

Olfactory reference syndrome can stop you from achieving your goals. It can also reflect badly on your relationships. After all, you always escape because you fear you’ll smell bad. It can also lead to the development of severe mental health conditions like depression, social anxiety, loneliness, etc.

Also read: OCD And Social Anxiety: Is There A Relationship Between The Two?

Symptoms Of Olfactory Reference Syndrome

Reference-Syndrome

The signs and symptoms of olfactory reference syndrome are very obvious and easily identifiable. However, sometimes it can be confused with just being conscious about your body odor. Olfactory reference syndrome will affect your routine life and interfere with your decision-making.

If your consciousness about smelling good always is not coming in the way of your goals, there is probably nothing to worry about. Let’s have a look at some of the symptoms of olfactory reference syndrome that we need to watch out for;

  • Frequent showering, using perfumes/deodorants
  • Repeated use of grooming products
  • Constantly checking their body odor
  • Always enquire about their smell
  • Social avoidance because of fear of smelling bad
  • Escaping from work/school is an anxious response to a fear of having a foul odor
  • Suicidal ideations caused by extreme anxiety
  • Low self-esteem
  • Anxiety and depressive symptoms

What Treatments Work for Olfactory Reference Syndrome (ORS)?

Experts are still studying olfactory reference syndrome and its consequences. The treatment strategies for ORS are still a little hazy, there is enough proof that treatments for similar mental health conditions can work for olfactory reference syndrome as well.

The symptoms of olfactory reference syndrome are similar to that of obsessive-compulsive disorder; therefore, the treatment focuses on reframing the obsessive thoughts. Let’s have a look at all the treatment options that can work for olfactory reference syndrome;

  • Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): focuses on your thoughts and how you frame them. CBT helps you identify your obsessive thoughts, what triggers them, and how you can replace them with adaptive thoughts.
  • Clinical drugs: olfactory reference syndrome can give rise to extreme anxiety and emotional fluctuation. Such symptoms can be managed with help of some psychiatric drugs like serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SRIs) and selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs).

Get Help Now

The best treatment option for olfactory reference syndrome is considered a combination of medicines and psychotherapy. This is because the symptoms of ORS  include suicidal ideations, anxiety, and depressive thoughts.

Psychiatric drugs help in managing and reducing the intensity of olfactory reference syndrome symptoms. And the psychotherapy sessions will help in reframing your obsessive thoughts and help you fight your triggers.

 

 

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Am I depressed and what can help me?

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Psychotherapist John-Paul Davies explains what depression is, how it can feel, the self-help steps that help and why working with a therapist could open up a much-needed conversation

Every person reading this article will have some sort of relationship to the concept of depression. Whether that’s through lived experience, witnessing the depression of a friend or loved one, or questioning if the tough time they are currently going through themselves, is in fact depression.

As Psychotherapist John-Paul Davies explains on Happiful’s podcast, while the initial route for diagnosing depression should be through a visit to your GP or a Psychiatrist, depression is a condition he encounters regularly in his practice. He’s eager to share how common it is and to underline the constant possibility for change and a different way of being.

“Depression is very understandable based on our physiology, our environments, the media, and the type of world we live in. It’s a very human response to somebody’s early life, to current circumstances and grief,” John-Paul notes.

“There are most definitely ways we can move through it, albeit it’s a gradual process, but never think that because of what’s happened in the past that you can’t change in the present. There’s always hope and things that we can do to help ourselves.”

So what is depression?

“I would say that as human beings, we’re at our happiest when we’re in the middle band of feelings, which you might describe as ‘calm and alive’,” John-Paul explains. “However, it’s not always possible for human beings to be in that place. If we go above that ‘calm and alive’ band we might be overly aroused, fearful or angry. If we fall below, then we can feel hopeless, helpless, apathetic and in despair. There can be a lack of physical movement that goes with that feeling too. And I think for me, depression is a situation where somebody has a tendency to fall below ‘calm and alive’.”

The impact of depression, he notes, can be far-reaching too. “Depression can have a profound adverse impact, unfortunately on all areas of life for people,” John-Paul shares. “But there can be a range of depressive experiences, some people experience it mildly while, for other people, it’s something that’s been around clinically quite severely for months or even years in their lives.”

What can you do to help yourself?

As well as seeking support from your GP, John-Paul explains that there are multiple ways in which we can start to help ourselves move through a depressive period.

These include:

Connecting with your thoughts

“Become conscious of your thoughts and the types of beliefs that you have about yourself and others. It’s been said that depression is an inability to construct a future, so start to question this. What is it that you would want in the future? Vision boards can help (although I know some people will roll their eyes at this!)

“Paying attention to your thoughts can really help as people with depression will compare themselves less favorably than others. Depression can distort our perceptions of ourselves and others, it can make us feel like we are not doing well, but all human beings struggle.”

Connecting with your feelings

“Often people experiencing depression will have disconnected from their bodies too. Improving the mind-body connection is important. Make your body feel good, try massage, warm showers, cold baths – all the things that can regulate your nervous system and put you in that ‘calm and alive’ place.

“There are lots of other things we can do to regulate the nervous system; handholding, hugs, petting an animal, a walk in nature even for a relatively short period of time can be helpful for lifting depression. Nature has that inherent sense of being calm and alive that does tend to be regulating for people.”

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Photo by Clem Onojeghuo

Embracing creativity

“Using your imagination to make something rather than to imagine the worst outcomes can be really helpful. This doesn’t have to involve going out with large groups of people or spending lots of money. It could be writing, art, or thinking about how you’d decorate a room in your home. Creativity is so important.”

Cultivating relationships

“An important way through depression is via relationships. Cultivate relationships with others, and notice the effect that people have on our minds and bodies. Does it make you feel more alive to be around certain people? Can you lean into that?”

Taking care of media consumption

“Quite a lot of people are spending time looking at the media which is frightening and angering them. The thing that can be reinforcing depression is that they’re not in control of it. That’s where feelings of hopelessness and helplessness can arise. So be careful around the sorts of media you consume.”

How can working with a therapist help?

While there is much we can do to help move through a depressive state, there will be situations where we need the support of a mental health professional, and this, as John-Paul explains, can be transformational.

“It’s important to have your experience seen and heard,” he explains. “Depression can be deeply ingrained. Therapists can combine acceptance therapy with discussions around compassion, commitment and how things might be different but ultimately the power of just listening to what someone’s saying is crucial for future progress.”

 

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Find some light in the dark with these positive news stories

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Find some light in the dark with these positive news stories

Social enterprise cooks up tasty support for kinship families

According to the charity Family Rights Group, more than 180,000 children across the UK are being cared for by their kin – a grandparent, other relative, or family friend – due to their parents being unable to care for them. And while it’s an instinctive choice to make, it is a life-altering role that can come with many unique challenges.

Social worker Anna-Lou Manca has witnessed many kinship carers face financial and emotional difficulties over the course of her career, and it was for this reason that she founded Kinship Carers Hub in 2020 – a social enterprise on a mission to help kinship carers get the support they need to fulfil such a rewarding role.

The hub runs many projects – from employment opportunities to webinar training – which are all designed to provide guidance and support to kinship families, but their main project, Kinship Carers Cooking Club, is one combating social isolation through the power of food.

Each week, kinship families come together to cook and eat a meal, provided by the hub. Aside from the practical support provided through receiving groceries on a weekly basis, and learning about healthy, budget-friendly recipes, it also offers the opportunity to bond and access peer-to-peer support. One carer says: “It has allowed the children to see there are other children in the same situation as themselves, to show them that they aren’t alone.”

If you would like support as a kinship carer, visit kinshipcarershub.org

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Anna-Lou, founder of Kinship-Hub. Photography | Urszula Soltys

Workplace bullying survivor launches campaign for new UK law

The effects of workplace bullying can last a lifetime, chipping away at our confidence and undermining our self-esteem. But Skevi Constantinou, one woman who has been there herself, has come out the other side, and is ready to call for major change to protect others.

The former executive assistant was targeted at work over her chronic autoimmune condition, to the point where she eventually felt afraid to go into the workplace. And, sadly, she’s not alone. But despite Trades Union Congress (TUC) figures that found nearly a third of people have been bullied at work, with more than one in three people going on to leave their job because of it, workplace bullying is not currently recognized as a crime by UK law, leaving the door open for the perpetrators to get away with this behavior.

“This affects millions of people, not just in the UK but globally,” Skevi says. “It’s so important that these people are represented and not made to feel that this is normal – to go to work and be treated that way. Bullies need to be stopped in the workplace.”

She points to Sweden as an example of a country that already has laws that specifically prohibit bullying in the workplace.

“We all deserve to go to work and be respected in a safe environment,” she says. “Whilst my own experiences have shaped me in many ways, I want to help others as best as possible.”

Sign Skevi’s petition by visiting petition.parliament.uk

Sound asleep?

Is there a moment you wish you could forget? Well, scientists might just have found the secret. A team from the University of York explored the impact on our memory of playing sounds as we sleep, so whether it’s an embarrassing moment, a bad breakup, or an intrusive thought, we might find certain sounds help us let go in the future.

Try six sleep sounds to listen to tonight

With the colder weather and longer nights finally here, it’s time to huddle together and embrace the local community spirit. And a new, large, interactive art project in Cornwall looks set to do just that.

Arts Well, a social enterprise that advocates for the importance of creativity in health and wellbeing, unveiled its latest project at Jubilee Wharf in Penryn. A giant nest has been built with the help of neighboring businesses and local organizations. Part of the national Fun Places initiative, designed to celebrate creativity and promote well-being throughout the year, the project puts playfulness at the heart of what it does.

Made using willow and hazel branches, along with the helping hands of plenty of locals, people were invited to hop in and experience the sense of calm and well-being created through being within the nest.

As program coordinator Vicki Bampfield-Hammond explains, “A nest is a symbol of creativity and nurture, perfect to bring our working and residential communities together. We felt a giant nest was really appropriate, as everyone who wanted to get involved could, nurturing creativity, inclusivity, and community spirit.”

While it remained nestled in Jubilee Wharf throughout the holiday season, the nest will be moved to its permanent home in the new year. Watch this space!

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Vicki and Jayne

Can our canine friends sniff out stress?

When we’re struggling, dogs just seem to know. Whether they jump on our laps for a cuddle or smother us with licks, our companions have a knack for cheering us up. And it turns out, there’s science behind it.

A new study from Queen’s University Belfast has found that dogs can smell stress in humans. When we get stressed, compounds change in our sweat and breath, and this is what our pets are sniffing out.

In the study, samples were gathered from participants before and after completing a difficult maths exercise. Dogs were able to detect which samples came before and after the activity. Ranging from 90% to 96.88%, the accuracy rate was even better than the researchers anticipated.

“While it is likely that in a real-life context, dogs are picking up on our stress from a variety of context cues, we have shown, using a laboratory study, that there is a confirmed odor component that is likely contributing to dogs’ ability to sense when we are stressed,” says animal psychologist and study author Clara Wilson.

What we don’t know yet, is whether dogs understand that what they’re smelling is stress, or if they care. While their behavior suggests they do, which is why they make great therapy animals, more research is needed.
Until then, we’ll conduct our own research with plenty of pet snuggles. For science.

Write on time

Letter writing seems to be a dying art in the digital age, despite 84% of kids saying they’d be excited to receive posts. The survey, from The Diana Award and Nationwide, revealed that one in three children has never penned a letter, and a fifth haven’t received one in the past three months. In response, the organizations launched The Positivity Postbox, a scheme to encourage schoolkids to pen letters to children in partnering schools around the country. Sounds like a writing revival.

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