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Six ways to help manage cravings and urges

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When recovering from an addiction, managing cravings isn’t easy. Here, we share six key tips to help you through these unique challenges

It’s normal for anyone who has an addictive behavior to experience cravings, but that doesn’t make them any less frustrating. During the initial stages of recovery, they can be intense, but over time, and with perseverance, they will subside.

Cravings can be both physical and psychological in nature and are generally most intense during the withdrawal period. The brain will work overtime, and may come up with all sorts of excuses like: “This will be the last time.” As for how long cravings will last, it isn’t possible to put a timeframe on that, but the key thing to remember is that they are not permanent.

If not handled properly, cravings can lead to a relapse, so the most important thing is to know your triggers and to learn strategies for dealing with them. Here are six tips to help you manage cravings and urges.

1. Be aware of your triggers

A trigger is a stimulus that sparks a craving and could include a place, time, event, person, emotion, or a withdrawal trigger – which is a biological response to the lack of an addictive substance. Try keeping a journal and taking note of when your cravings arise throughout the day, as well as your accompanying thoughts and emotions. If you know your triggers, this can help you to anticipate cravings as they surface. Consider which triggers you could avoid, but recognize that some will be unavoidable.

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2. Find a distraction

When a craving arises, stop what you’re doing and distract yourself with something else, which could help take your attention away from the addictive behaviour. By simply changing your routine, you may be able to shake off a craving. Consider starting a hobby, as this can provide you with something else to engage in. Perhaps you could do a creative activity such as baking, arts and crafts, writing, or anything that takes your fancy.

3. Positive self-talk

Having cravings can trigger automatic responses, which are often not conscious – for example: “I want a cigarette, so I’ll have it.” Saying no to these urges is perhaps one of the most difficult things to do. Try to replace the urges with a positive statement that overrides them. You could also write a list which contains all the reasons you’ve decided to quit your habit, as well as the negative consequences of continuing with it. Having the list to hand when you feel a craving come on could help you to overcome the urge and feel empowered.

4. Embrace exercise

Exercise is an easy way to reduce cravings, as it releases endorphins and boosts your energy. Studies show that short periods of physical activity can help to reduce withdrawal symptoms and cravings. When a craving arises, use it as a prompt to go for a walk or jog, or even go up and down the stairs in your house a few times. If exercise isn’t part of your lifestyle, try setting aside a regular time for exercise that fits in with your personal schedule.

“Having cravings can trigger automatic responses, which are often not conscious – for example ‘I want a cigarette, so I’ll have it’”

5. Be prepared for triggering situations

If there are people, places, and things that constantly trigger cravings, it may be best to avoid them. However, it is always good to have a plan, in case you do find yourself in a triggering situation. Consider in advance what you will do and how you will leave. It may be a good idea to have someone to call for support. While avoiding triggers is important, it can be equally beneficial to replace them with healthy behaviors, such as practicing meditation or spending time with people who care for you.

6. Reach out to your support network

Professional treatment with a therapist may be necessary to overcome addiction, which can enable you to manage triggers and cravings as well as feel supported. It can be equally beneficial to be part of a group, to not feel alone on your journey. Consider joining a support group with other recovering addicts. Connecting with others in similar situations can really help bolster our inner strength, and offer encouragement and support.

 

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You are Not Your Mistakes! Here’s How to Stop Dwelling on Your Mistakes

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Stop dwelling on your mistakes

You are not your mistakes!  Always remember that. We have all been there and our mistakes have haunted us for years. Wouldn’t it be nice to stop worrying about something that happened in the past? There’s no way we can change what happened, all we can change is the way we look at it now.

Does it make sense? See, we are human and we ought to make mistakes. No one is perfect or perhaps being imperfect is perfect because being imperfect is being human. You didn’t make a mistake knowing that you’ll be doomed!

Most things that we do always have an honest intention behind it. The execution can be faulty and that’s how you end up with a mistake. I have made a lot of mistakes in life and so have you. Tell me honestly how many hours have you spent dwelling on your mistakes? I have spent years doing that and trust me it will do you no good.

I understand what you must be going through. To ease your worry and anxiety about your mistakes in the past, I have something for you…

How to Stop Dwelling on Your Mistakes?

You know it in your heart that you are overthinking your mistakes. Even though you aren’t sharing your thoughts and feelings with anyone, it will still show in your behavior. And that’s not good. Feeling miserable and not being able to do anything is not good.

It’s time we stop dwelling on our mistakes and make amends. Here’s what you can do to stop the worry and anxiety you have about your mistakes. Rumination is not your friend, try these steps to avoid obsessing over you mistakes:

Step 1. Identify your triggers:

Since you have made mistakes in the past it’s natural for you to remember them time and again. If that recollection is upsetting your mind, try avoiding it. Now, it’s obvious that in your present life triggers the memory of your mistake.

So, begin with identifying those triggers. What is it that is reminding you of those days? It depends on what mistake you made. Whether it is related to finance or your relationship, anything that is related to your mistake can be your trigger.

Step 2. Distance yourself from the mistake:

You are not your mistakes and I think I have written this several times. That’s because I mean it! Make a psychological distance between you and your mistakes.

It is something that you did, realized that it was wrong and won’t repeat it again. It ends there, don’t drag it along with you. Learn to forgive yourself. Once you do that the triggers won’t trouble you as much.

Step 3. Distinguish between rumination and problem solving:

Both rumination and problem solving involve thinking about the mistake. What you have to do here is to shift from problematic overthinking to problem-solving thinking.

Rumination involves a lot of blaming and shaming and that’s what you don’t have to do. Think of it as an opportunity to learn from your mistakes. After making a mistake you at least know what you don’t have to do.

That’s one step towards progress. Now you can focus on other ways you can tackle a particular situation.

Step 4. Train your brain:

I know it’s easier said than done and that’s why we need to train our brain. It’s our brain that needs direction more than us, sometimes. Train your brain in a way that you are more self-aware.

Practicing mindfulness techniques can be really helpful in doing so. Get control over your thoughts and find a healthier way to release your stress and worry.

Step 5: Keep a check on your thoughts:

Our thoughts can go out of control easily. Therefore, keeping a check on what we think and feel is a good option. Now, I am not telling you to control what you feel. That’ll be a disaster!

Let your thoughts and feelings flow in naturally but keep looking for errors or cognitive distortions. Because if there is an error you have to correct it right? Keep a check on yourself so that there is no further damage.

Endnote….

Making mistakes is human! Try not to beat yourself up on that. The above-stated steps can help you in reducing the worry and anxiety you might have regarding your mistakes.

Dwelling on your mistakes will only make things worse. You can’t do anything about the mistake, it’s in the past. But you can do something for your mental peace. Try following these steps to stop that continuous obsession.

Take my word on this, try them out, and let me know in the comment section whether it helped you or not. If you see a friend or family member suffering through something similar, share this blog with them.

 

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Athena Laz: “Your dreams are speaking to you every night”

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Athena Laz, author, counseling psychologist, and dream teacher, shares her thoughts on the gifts dreams bring us, sleeping habits, and how dreams can unlock creativity

Athena Laz is delighted that more people are talking about dreaming, and now with the publication of her book The Alchemy of Your Dreams: A Modern Guide to the Ancient Art of Lucid Dreaming and Interpretation, many others will have the knowledge and opportunities to benefit from the symbols and messages our dreams offer us.

Sharing her thoughts and experiences on Happiful’s podcast I am. I have, Athena opens up the wonderful world of dreams and the ways we can work with them.

Athena on

Dreaming

  • When we dream we are offered positive solutions, guidance, creative wisdom. We are also offered emotional regulation through our dreams so even a nightmare is often helpful if you look at it from a higher perspective.

  • Studies have shown that every night, even if we don’t recall our dreams, they are helping us to process our emotions.

Sleeping and dreaming habits

  • It’s very important to prepare for sleep to make the most of your dream time. Create a sacred space for sleeping, and on a pragmatic level, if you can go to sleep at the same time every night, that can help with dreaming too.

  • To recall your dreams better, the moment you wake, try not to physically move your body. This gives you a few seconds to replay your dream and in doing so, it helps you to store it better into your long-term memory.

Creativity

  • Creative inspiration strikes so many people in dreams. So many people tell me that their creative blocks disappear once they actively start working with their dreams.

  • Famous people who’ve received creative insight into their dreams include the owners of Google, who got that idea through a dream, and Paul McCartney who often heard his music in dreams.

  • Gaining creative inspiration or guidance can be a regular occurrence if you’re in touch with your dreams. The more you work with your dreams, the more you connect with yourself and then the insights will come.

For more information and inspiration when working with your dreams listen to Athena’s full episode of I am. I have

Athena’s book The Alchemy of Your Dreams: A Modern Guide to the Ancient Art of Lucid Dreaming and Interpretation, published by Yellow Kite, is available now

 

 

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Vocabulary Woes: Can Unusually Long Words Trigger Fear In People?

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Are you afraid of long words

As strange as it may sound, the phobia of long words is real. There is N number of phobias that exist. We just don’t know about them because they haven’t been given any name yet. But even the ones we know are strange enough for even the most logical of people to question reality.

So with this said, let’s talk about ‘Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia’, or the fear of long words.

Humans can develop a phobia of the tiniest of things to the largest of things. There can be a lot of things that can make you anxious and uncomfortable. A friend of mine once told me that some words make her uncomfortable. I somehow guessed that she might have a phobia.

Once she described what kind of words scare her, I immediately understood that she has a fear of long words. The worst of it all was when I told her the name of her phobia and it didn’t go well! She freaked out on hearing the name itself.

That reaction made me search more about phobia. Here’s what I found…

What is Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words. People with this phobia are afraid of all long and complex words. Ironically the name itself is a long word. Let’s break the word into parts first and understand its meaning…

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

  • ‘hippo’ means horse and ‘potam-os’ means a river (in Greek). Together these words make no sense but both of these things are long in size.
  • The word ‘Hippopotamine’ can be used for things that are large/long in nature according to the Oxford dictionary.
  • I know the word ‘hippopotamus’ is not leaving your mind. But when you think of its structural characteristics, a hippopotamus also has a long body structure. His feet aren’t that tall but his body is long!

The common thing in all these is the length!

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

  • ‘Monstr’ in Latin means something that’s monster-like or frightening.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

  • ‘Sesquippedalio’ is another Latin word that refers to something that is a foot and a half long.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

  • ‘Phobia’ came from the Greek word Phobos which means having an irrational fear of a person, place, or thing.

Also read: Fear vs. Phobia: What’s the Difference?

What’s the logic behind naming Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia so long?

Well, there is a shorter name for it too, sesquipedalophobia! Before I knew the real reason I was really angry at those who named the phobia of long words. I mean how can someone be so insensitive right? The name of your phobia itself will give you anxiety and stress. Mocking something so serious is not right. Do you have similar thoughts?

Let me clarify this for you, it has a little bit of satire in it but it’s not mockery. There is a purpose behind naming the phobia so long. The intention behind it was to reduce the fear associated with long words.

1. Firstly, whenever you tell someone about your phobia you will have to use the name. By saying and hearing a long word over and over again the anxiety and fear associated can come down a notch. It’s like facing your fear.

2. Secondly, to understand the word Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia you will have to break it down. Breaking down a long word into parts helps in reducing the fear. Because then you look at it as 3 or 4 smaller words clubbed together. This technique of breaking down can be practiced with other long words too.

Therefore, Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is purposely designed in a way that it can help in reducing the intensity. There are many other phobias named using the same strategy.

Like Dodecaphobia, it is a fear of the number 12. Dodecaphobia is a 12 letter word. The fear of palindrome is named ‘Aibohphobia’, it is the fear of words/phrases that spell the same forward and backward (eg. madam).

Also read: Debunking Common Myths About Phobias

Causes and Symptoms of the Phobia of Long Words

The cause and symptoms may differ from person to person. We all react to different things differently. Similarly, a phobia has the ability to elicit different reactions in different individuals.

Some of the main causes can be

  • You can inherit a phobia from your family. The nature of your phobia may not be the same, but the tendency of developing an irrational fear can be genetic.
  • A traumatic event in the past. For example, someone being ridiculed in class for reading/spelling/understanding a long word wrong can develop Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.
  • Educational background also has a role to play. If you did not come across long complex words while studying. It’s natural to fear something you have never come across. Unfortunately, there are some schools that fail to match up to the accepted standard of teaching, and results of which can be seen in students.

As far as symptoms are concerned, if you have Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, you may experience

Emotional symptoms

  • Irrational fear of long words
  • Anxiety and panic when there is an encounter with long words

Physical symptoms

  • Shallow breathing
  • Palpitations
  • Headaches
  • Chills
  • You might also begin crying unstoppably

Is Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia Treatable?

If you have read this far you must be wondering how this phobia can be treated. Fortunately, all kinds of phobias can be treated and so can be Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia. There are two things that can help in the treatment. Medication and therapy!

I personally would recommend therapy because therapy attacks the root cause of the fear. Medication on the other hand can reduce the symptoms but will not completely eradicate the problem.

Therefore, talk to a professional about Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia and get the perfect treatment plan. It can be just therapy or a combination of medication and therapy.

I hope this blog helped you understand the fear of long words. If you found this blog interesting do share it with your friends and family.

 

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Clarity cures complexity: How to make introspection a habit

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What happens when you do a deep dive on introspection and how can we keep coming back to ourselves when life gets busy?

The last few months have been somewhat frenetic for me. I moved house, moved back and forth between home and my parents (for various reasons), went to my first few in-person events, caught Covid, launched new ventures in my side-hustle… like I said, frenetic.

Lots of it has been exciting and fun (not the Covid part though, I admit) but I was longing for the dust to settle. Just as things started to slow again, I was asked if I’d like to try out a DIY introspection retreat from Clarity Kit and I felt an exhale immediately as I said yes.

When life gets busy, it can get complicated and noisy. For me, this tends to lead to a feeling of being a boat in a storm, totally at the mercy of the waves with no idea where I am or which direction I should be going in. What we need at this point is stillness and quietness. We need an anchor. Time to recalibrate and check in with our map before moving forwards.

This is what introspection can do for us. It gives us a chance to connect with ourselves on a deep level. I try to do some sort of introspective work daily, whether it’s writing in my journal, meditating, or going for a short walk alone. Now and then though, I need to go deeper and this is what I got with the introspection retreat from Clarity Kit.

 

The idea is to take a weekend for yourself to go through the exercises and treat it as if you were on a retreat. The kit contains tips for nutritious meals and morning/wind-down routines to help facilitate this work and encourage ultimate self-care.

When I started working through the exercises, I lit my favorite scented candle and played some relaxing music in the background, and told my partner what I was doing so he could give me some space. The exercises themselves take you on a clear journey, from establishing where you are now to facing your fears, recognizing your strengths, and identifying which direction you want to go. At the end, there’s an illustrated poster where you can reflect and calibrate everything you’ve uncovered, noting down the key points in one beautiful place.

As I finished, I looked back at my poster and felt an incredible sense of calm and reassurance. This deep dive revealed to me that I was on the right path. It helped me loosen my attachment to ‘success’ in its traditional form, recognizing that success for me is fulfilling my purpose and being true to my values… and I’m actually already doing that.

It helped me turn down the volume of the outside world, of societal expectations, so I could finally listen to myself. I could take a breath and keep going, knowing that I’m going in the right direction.

Making this space for deeper introspection made me realize this is something I need to do more regularly. If you can relate, here are some ideas to help you make deep introspection a habit.

Decide how regularly you want to do a deep dive

Look at your current schedule and think about how often you could do this kind of introspection work. Try to find the balance between what you’d like in an ideal world and what is realistic with your circumstances. You might be able to make space once a week to do this, it might be every quarter. Experiment with regularity and remember the best way to keep up with a habit is to make it manageable.

Mark it in your calendar

Once you’ve decided when you’ll do your deep dive, make sure you mark it in your calendar. Imagine you’ve booked a place on an in-person retreat somewhere. You won’t be able to accept new invitations for that time, because you already have a commitment. It’s easy to think activities like this aren’t important, but this work is how we stay connected with ourselves, get clear on what we really want, and ultimately feel more fulfilled. And that is important.

Communicate your plans

Be sure to tell those who need to know about your plans. This might involve, like me, asking someone you live with to give you a little space during this time or telling friends you’re busy that weekend when they ask to hang out. I know some people take things a step further by booking a short stay at a hotel to really feel those retreat vibes. This will all depend on what’s available to you, do what you can.

Set the scene

This is what can make the experience really special. Surround yourself with comfort, whatever that means to you. To me, it meant loungewear, scented candles, soft music, peppermint tea, and dark chocolate. This work can be difficult, so it’s important to feel as safe as you can. Keeping your phone and any other digital distractions out of sight helps enormously too, try popping them in a box or in another room if possible (the kit I had came with its own box which I’m continuing to use!).

Take breaks

Something I loved about the introspection retreat I used was prompt to go out and take a walk. Diving deep into what we want and exploring our inner landscape can be a lot, so taking time out now and then to just breathe and let what you’ve unearthed settle is so important. Schedule in breaks, make sure you’re eating and drinking enough, look after yourself – this may not seem like ‘work’ in the traditional sense, but it is a type of work.

Collate your findings

If you can, try to summarise what came up for you in a few bullet points. What did you realize when doing this work? What revealed itself? What do you need to remember moving forward? If you can, keep this list somewhere you’ll see it regularly as a constant reminder.

As the world seems to be reopening, it’s more important than ever to stay connected with yourself and to be intentional with your introspection. This means when storms come, you’ll have your anchor ready to secure you so you can check your map and get back on course.

 

 

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