During the pandemic, some have found it difficult to access remote mental health support, with one in four saying it’s made them feel worse
When Covid hit, everything changed. For a lot of us, this included our mental health. Whether you were already undergoing treatment or found you needed it during the pandemic, the usual face-to-face or group sessions offered by the NHS had to stop.
Thankfully, alternative routes were found in the form of remote counselling, typically offered through video calls. For many, this was a welcome and much needed option. But it wasn’t suitable for everyone.
Surveying almost 2,000 people, mental health charity Mind found that 35% of people who received remote support from the NHS found it difficult to use, with 23% saying it actually made their mental health worse.
Other findings included:
63% would have preferred face-to-face support.
10% experienced technological issues ‘often’ or ‘always’.
34% were worried about confidentiality ‘often’ or ‘always’.
At a glance, this looks quite worrying, but Mind say respondents did note some positives. 69% appreciated not having to travel to appointments, 47% were pleased to have more flexibility when it came to appointment times and 40% highlighted that waiting times were shorter.
In their report, Trying to Connect, Mind are using these insights to call on the Government to ensure those in need of mental health support are offered a choice when it comes to their treatments.
In response to the findings, Geoff Heyes, Head of Health Policy and Influencing at Mind said there has been an increase in demand for the charity’s services during the pandemic. Describing remote mental health services as a ‘lifeline for many’, Geoff praises the NHS for what they’ve been able to do but notes the worrying statistics found in their survey.
“At the very least, people should expect their mental health to stay the same, if not improve.
“As restrictions continue to ease, and we begin to deal with the long-term impacts of the pandemic – bereavement, grief, redundancy, and insecure employment, it’s really important everyone is offered a range of options – including face-to-face treatment – so that they can pick the most convenient and appropriate option. Online therapy cannot be seen as an easy answer to fixing growing pressures on overstretched mental health services. There is no cheap fix.”
If you’re currently receiving online counselling but are finding it difficult, be sure to feed this back to your counsellor and ask if face-to-face counselling will be possible once restrictions ease. For some, the idea of being on video is difficult, so remember you can ask to have the video off or to have telephone counselling instead. You could also enquire about email counselling if this would feel better suited to you, this will depend on what your counsellor can offer.
Here, we’ve rounded up some helpful articles to get the most out of remote counselling:
“I was so baffled and confused when someone I liked so much blocked me from every social media platform and even over-call. I just couldn’t understand why he did so. There, I was dreaming of my future with him and here, he did not even find it necessary to tell me that he can’t go ahead. He ghosted me. Now how do I cope up alone as my heart is sinking?”
Being ghosted is heartbreaking as someone whom you are either dating or have a deep friendship with cuts off all ties with you without even informing. It can happen at the beginning of a relationship or in the middle. You tasted something so good but it was taken away from you cruelly.
If you are being ghosted then let me remind you that you were not at your fault. You were just being yourself but the person you were dating was so emotionally immature that they couldn’t be honest with you. This is it.
However, you still must be thinking why were you ghosted and how to cope up with the bothering pain? People usually ghost because:
They don’t want to face an uncomfortable situation of breaking up.
Their own inability to communicate.
They don’t need to give justification to exit the relationship.
However, ghosting becomes painful as the mind jumbles from one possibility to another and induces emotions like sadness, anger, confusion, and loneliness. Besides uncomfortable feelings and embarrassment, depression and grief may also show up. This is why it is advised to learn how to deal with being ghosted strongly and come out as a stronger person.
How To Handle Being Ghosted?
Here are some tips to handle hurtful feelings which helped me when I found that the person who ghosted me was also blatantly lying about his profession, house, and even his real name. Gosh, it was bad but I got through it. How? Read below!
1. Acknowledge That This Hurts
Take a deep breath and sit peacefully somewhere. The high hopes of this relationship might haven’t grown in the way you thought and the feeling of being ghosted hurts. It is important to let that sink in! Acknowledge that you would feel hurt but you are stronger than the person who ghosted you and this phase will get over soon.
2. Get Rid Of Self-Blame
This again is one aspect that comes to mind, we blame ourselves. So many questions, regret, embarrassment, and shame comes into the picture and you feel everything that you did went in vain. But understand, if there is no explanation to find the cause of happenings then it doesn’t mean you start blaming yourself.
If you are thinking that it all happened because of your actions, talks or activities then kindly, stop doing so! Take a break and regroup yourself. You cannot blame yourself for something that you loved doing and moreover, you can’t blame yourself for something that you didn’t even do! At least, you never ghosted.
3. Heal Your Mind & Body
Many studies have shown that if you do the basic things in a mindful state like eating well, sleeping properly, exercising thrice a week, etc. then it helps in managing your stress and mental pain. Indulging in yoga practice, meditationand mindfulness have the capacity to lower the stress hormones and ultimately emotional pain.
4. Build Resilience
If you are knocked down emotionally then even experts suggest you practice self-care activities and build resilience within yourself. Resilience is that particular trait that doesn’t let a person fall back due to failure in any circumstance and overtake it all with your personal strength. It could be built to cope with the pain of being ghosted by
5. Let It Go! It Was Never Meant For You.
You will feel better as and when time moves on. But it is only possible only when you are ready for it and give yourself permission to take care of yourself. It is your life and you have to move ahead for a better future.
Rather invest in yourself, new activities, and hobbies that are actually helpful for your own well-being. Accept the instances that have already happened and let it go like the strongest person.
Wrap-Up
I understand what is being ghosted and how it feels like I was there once but leaving it over the passage of time was very helpful. Apart from this, all the above points helped me to cope with the pain of being ghosted.
Though it takes place each May, Mental Health Awareness Month may be more visible, and more importantly, this year than ever before.
The Covid-19 pandemic has made it difficult for those struggling to reach out for in-person help, and social isolation has exacerbated feelings of loneliness. In response, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (known as NAMI) has created a month-long campaign for May called “You Are Not Alone,” during which the organization will be sharing inspirational videos, educational resources and ways you can reach out for help on its website.
On a local level, NAMI’s Sarasota and Manatee Counties chapter is holding special webinars and group meetings for the entire month of May, during which the organization will share tips on staying healthy.
Taylor Walker.
“Our webinars will discuss topics like demystifying psychiatric hospital stays, The Baker Act, and how family and friends can support loved ones with mental health conditions,” says local NAMI program coordinator Taylor Walker.
The organization is holding an event on Friday, May 28, at a Bradenton Marauders baseball game. Volunteers will be handing out resources and running a booth in partnership with Suncoast Behavioral Health Center.
The organization has also created a blog called #NotAloneSuncoast, where members of the community can share stories about mental illness and recovery. The goal is to inspire others to reach out for help. One of the stories features local NAMI board member and volunteer Gene McIntyre, who also runs several support groups for the organization.
Gene McIntyre.
“I am a program facilitator for family groups, where individuals that love or support someone with mental illness can learn to navigate the condition and challenges associated with it,” says McIntyre. “We discuss ways to cope with illness, how to have conversations with those struggling and sharing stories to make people feel less alone.”
While people from around the world can join the chapter’s groups via Zoom, those struggling with isolation can feel stuck at home. This is why the organization has begun hybrid groups and in-person groups to reinforce connection and reduce what Walker calls “Zoom fatigue.”
One of the ways the groups combat this is by teaching members “change management”—learning to work with the ways the world is constantly changing, rather than “torturing yourself with it,” as McIntyre says.
“We help members develop a toolkit of skills to cope in healthy ways,” says McIntyre. “Rather than resisting what Covid is doing in our lives, we learn to embrace it and find creative ways to overcome obstacles and find the silver lining. Even if that silver lining is getting to connect with others and receiving free support while wearing pajamas in the house.”
For those who are afraid to seek help, there are a variety of options. McIntyre suggests calling 211, United Way Suncoast’s hotline, which provides referrals to free or discounted mental health services. NAMI also has a phone line and an email line for people needing assistance getting professional help.
For those with insurance, telehealth counseling has been a great resource for one-on-one care. You can also join one of the various groups at NAMI, including a young adults group for ages 18-30, a POWER (Parents Offering Wisdom, Education, and Resources) group for parents who are caring for a child with mental illness, and a suicide support group for those who have lost loved ones.
“One young man came to our suicide support group right as we reopened in-person,” says McIntyre. “He explained that his mother just attempted suicide, and he was afraid for her and his little brother, who also struggled with depression. He felt resentment and guilt and just wanted to vent. We helped him learn to have a productive conversation with his mother, and in the next session via Zoom, his mother attended and they were able to make amends with our facilitation.”
According to McIntyre, one of the ways you can stay mentally healthy during the pandemic is finding a community where you can feel supported, and also support others.
“With mental illness and recovery, you are forced to look inward a lot, but the more you look inward, the more isolated you can become,” says McIntyre. “NAMI gives you the opportunity to look outward. There is healing in supporting others.”
Award-winning journalist, competitive amateur powerlifter and author Poorna Bell joins Happiful’s podcast to talk about embracing gratitude and growing stronger through change
Poorna Bell’s new book Stronger: Changing Everything I Thought I Knew About Women’s Strength has a vibrant energy about it, even at first sight. With a vivid yellow lightning bolt emblazoned on the front, it screams power, purpose and ‘pick me up, read me, and then take action!’
Drawing upon her own life experiences, and particularly her recent practice of becoming a powerlifter (she can lift twice her own body weight), Poorna explores strength and fitness as well as the impact of society’s expectations on women and girls, and how we move our bodies.
“Prior to taking up powerlifting I’d been weight training, but it was powerlifting that changed my life and every single aspect of it,” Poorna explains. “I took it up when I was 38 and it occurred to me how different things could’ve been had I been taught about physicality and strength when I was younger.”
“But Stronger isn’t just about my story. There is a commonality of experience, particularly amongst girls, and how they have a terrible time of it in PE,” Poorna continues. “It’s also looks at that drop off in physical activity when we’re teenagers and how that has such strong links to our why our sense of self-esteem and confidence falls away.”
Poorna shares that at this point in her life, having written Stronger and now embarking upon a work of fiction due out in 2022, she is feeling a strong sense of positivity and gratitude. She’s also relieved to be feeling well once again, after recovering from long Covid in January this year.
Throughout the episode, she explores her experience of having anxiety but not being an anxious person and her desire to be a constant work in progress. Poorna also reflects upon moving forward after tough times and changing as a person, as a result of hard life experiences.
“We go through so many different changes in the course of our lifetime,” she explains. “If there was more support and care when we go through big changes, rather than expecting each person to go back to how they were before, for life to go ‘back to normal, if we could just embrace what comes through with that change – good and bad – life would be easier.”
Imagine that the conventional approach to treating mental illness was a snow globe. More than a century ago, Sigmund Freud gave the globe a vigorous shake when he developed his psychoanalytic theory. A flurry of theories about the treatment of people struggling with their mental health followed, some later to be proved harmful and dangerous, others found to be helpful.
Since the introduction of SSRI antidepressant medications in the mid-1980s, there has been little significant change in the treatment of mental illness, said Manoj Doss DO, co-founder of the Institute for Integrative Therapies (IIT), a Twin Cites-based clinic that offers psychedelics as a part of mental health treatment. To Doss and his colleagues at IIT, it seems like the contents of the snow globe have for too long been settled on the bottom — and need to be shaken up again.
“If you compare psychiatry to every other field of medicine, there really haven’t been many breakthroughs in the last several years,” said Doss, who is certified in occupational and general medicine. “We’ve hit a wall on what’s been really effective for patients. Maybe we need to re-examine how we treat mental illness.”
Manoj Doss
Kyle Keller, LICSW, IIT co-founder, said that he and his colleagues try to approach mental health treatment from a different perspective. While mainstream treatments like talk therapy and psychotropic medications have helped millions of people worldwide, they also have their limitations, he believes.
Keller said that at IIT, an offshoot of Ellie Family Services, staff members see the use of psychedelic medication as a new and promising way to help patients move beyond blockages in their mental health and take further steps toward recovery.
“We try to do things that are cutting edge and unconventional,” he said. “We want to get to the next level of mental health care, and help people find progress where they haven’t been able to before.”
When combined with psychotherapy, Keller said, psychedelics can help patients “treat their mental health and process trauma. They tend to evoke something that’s more spiritual or beyond the traditional therapeutic approach.”
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For now, IIT offers ketamine treatment for patients. The drug, a commonly used anesthetic also known as the party drug Special K, has shown promise in treating severe depression and is being offered at clinics and infusion centers nationwide. Depending on FDA approval, Doss and Keller would like to expand IIT’s treatment options to other psychedelics, including MDMA, popularly known as ecstasy or Molly, and psilocybin mushrooms. Both drugs have shown promise in the treatment of common mental illnesses, Keller said, including depression, anxiety, and PTSD.
Kyle Keller
“We’re laying the foundation to provide additional psychedelic-assisted therapies as they become available,” Keller said.
In June 2020, IIT started accepting patients with a “soft opening,” Keller said. As many as 40 patients have been treated since then; the institute’s official opening is scheduled for May 1.
Keller said that patients well suited to psychedelic therapy include “someone who might feel a sense of meaninglessness or nihilism, like nothing matters. Many times, psychedelics help create a profound sense of meaning for individuals that lingers with them and that can carry forward in their lives.”
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Another type of patient that has been shown to benefit from psychedelic therapy is, Keller said, “people with a terminal diagnosis. These kinds of patients report profound, transformative experiences where they come away no longer fearing their own mortality.”
Keller, who grew up in a strict religious background and struggled with the impact of this upbringing, tried psychedelic drugs when he was in college. “It was the most significant experience of my transitioning-into-adulthood period that helped with the processing of the religious piece,” he said.
After learning more about the history of academic research into the use of psychedelics in the treatment of mental health disorders, he was inspired to learn more, completing a yearlong certification in psychedelic assisted therapy at the California Institute for Integral Studies.
Keller said that he has found that psychedelic drugs “work on an unconscious level. They allow things to surface that may be repressed. A psychedelic experience is a disruptive thing. Of someone is caught in a pattern and they can’t get out of it, a psychedelic can interrupt that reoccurring cycle that happens in someone’s life.”
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How psychedelic treatment works
Keller explained that staff at IIT take a multipronged approach to psychedelic treatment for mental illness, combining the use of psychedelic medications with traditional psychotherapy and medical monitoring. “We follow a pretty standard structure,” he said. “It’s a model that is used by Johns Hopkins or NYU for doing psychedelic-assisted therapy.”
Keller said that IIT’s treatment process has four parts: first, an evaluation session to assess if this form of therapy is suitable for the patient, followed by a medical exam (conducted by Doss) that determines if the patient has any preexisting conditions that would make this form of therapy unsafe; then a preparation session (or sessions) that prepare the client for the psychedelic experience.
The third step in the process, Keller explained, is a treatment session, which takes place in a specially designed room in IIT’s St. Paul office.
“Our focus is on optimizing the setting,” he said. “It is important that the environment is in all ways conducive to the process, including music.” Once settled in the treatment room, the patient puts on eye shades and headphones and rests in a lounge chair.
Music is projected through the headphones, Keller explained: “We curate playlists for them that evoke relevant emotional content and follow the trajectory of the ketamine.”
During treatment — which can last, depending on the method of ketamine delivery, anywhere from an hour and a half to three hours — the patient is closely monitored by a therapist and a physician.
Beyond tracking physical reactions to the drug, the observation is mostly hands-off. “We follow their lead and let them tell us what they need,” Keller said.
The institute administers ketamine orally or through intramuscular (IM) injection. “The oral route is more gentle and takes more time to take effect,” Keller said. “The IM is a more psychedelic experience. People tell us they go on journeys, feeling like they’re leaving the room.”
Doss administers the medications. During IM treatments, he stays in the room with the therapist, monitoring the patient’s condition. “I’m there to witness that they are tolerating it well,” he explained. For sublingual treatments, he said he’s usually in and out of the room every 15 minutes: “But I’m just down the hall if they need me.”
The fourth part of psychedelic treatment at IIT is called integration and generally takes place on the day after treatment. “It’s the most important part of the therapy,” Keller said. “We’re watering the seeds that were planted during the therapy itself.” This part can take place in person or by a video conferencing call.
Further follow-up sessions are scheduled as needed, he added: “We can also do a few sessions afterward focusing on taking the lessons and insights and putting them into practice in the experience.”
Doss said that for most patients, ketamine isn’t a once-and-done treatment.
“The effects of ketamine can be short-lived, on average two to four weeks,” he said. But he said that he and Keller believe that carefully targeted therapy can extend the drug’s impact: “I think that the best approach would be if someone needs to do it every three to six months. As the effects wear off, you might need a ‘reset.’ That’s what the therapy session would add to it.”
Psychedelic treatment sessions are not covered by insurance and can cost as much as $850 for a single treatment. Most patients’ insurance covers the assessment and follow-up therapy sessions, Keller said. He explained that the clinic is working to address financial barriers to treatment.
“Accessibility is the No. 1 obstacle. We’re always looking at creative ways to bring costs down.”
Promise and potential
Because they see such potential in the ability of psychedelics to take mental health treatment to the next level, Doss and Keller are committed to building a practice that can quickly expand treatment options to patients as new options are approved for use.
“We’re excited to someday offer MDMA (Molly) and psilocybin mushrooms,” Keller said. ‘We’re at the inflection point where things are going to happen very rapidly in the next year.”
Doss said he sees IIT as it is structured now as a template for future expansion. “Essentially, what we’re doing is setting up the infrastructure,” he said. “Ketamine is a great drug for depression, but there are limits on what it can do. We want to be able to offer other options for our patients.”
Well publicized research on the positive impact of psychedelics in the treatment of a range of mental illnesses combined with significant progress toward FDA approval for their use makes Doss feel confident that he and Keller are on the right track.
“It’s coming,” Doss said of eventual FDA approval for MDMA and mushrooms. Because of this eventuality, he said, “We need to have good actors out there. There are going to be some bad actors that show up, but if we start this clinic and we become the standard of care, hopefully, anybody else that comes into this field will use us a model of how things should be done.”
Rory Remmel
Rory Remmel, professor in the department of medicinal chemistry at the University of Minnesota’s College Pharmacy, said that he sees the potential of psychedelics for treating a range of mental illnesses. “I think it’s really quite promising,” he said. “MDMA especially has been really successful in treating post-traumatic stress disorders. It just seems to work with one or two doses typically. It allows people to access their memories in a non-threatening atmosphere.”
Have any of IIT’s patients ever had negative experiences with psychedelic treatment? Their website’s FAQ section addresses the issue in this manner: “It’s our belief that ‘bad trips’ can be avoided, with attention to set and setting and through trusting relationships with your therapist. For some people, the ketamine therapy experience can still be challenging … but, it’s often the challenging experiences that are the most rewarding.”
Doss recalled a patient who had a “pretty difficult emotional experience” during a treatment session. In the end, he said, processing the negative experience added to the long-term impact of her follow-up therapy sessions: “She came out of it describing more openness. She described a decrease in rumination, which was not something she’d expected with how she was feeling immediately after the session.” The impact of psychedelic therapy goes far beyond the actual time in the treatment room, he explained: “It’s not just the medicine. It is the work afterward.”
As for potentially dangerous physical side effects of psychedelic treatment, Doss said, all drugs IIT proposes to one day offer to patients are safe when administered by a medical professional.
Almost any drug can be dangerous if used in the wrong setting, Doss said: “Fentanyl has a horrible rap, but it has also done wonders in the operating room. In a controlled setting, it is completely safe. The same can be said about psychedelics. If you are using the drug in a safe setting, then you’re using it in the right setting.”
But people are being addicted to ketamine, Remmel said. It isn’t as large of an issue in the United States, but in the UK and some European countries, there is, he explained, a subculture of people “who use ketamine all the time. They get tolerant of it, just like an opiate. They keep having to use higher doses.”
Keller said that when administered safely, the deeper benefits of psychedelics far outweigh the risks.
“A term used in psychedelics is an ‘inner feeling’ or an ‘inner intelligence,’” he said. “Many people believe that the higher self is always striving toward wholeness and healing.” Psychedelic drugs can help user access the higher self, he believes: “Wherever it goes is where you’re meant to be. Trusting that there is a part of yourself that knows what you need to experience is part of the journey they are on.”
C. Sophia Albott
C. Sophia Albott, M.D., assistant professor in the University of Minnesota’s Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, said she doesn’t endorse the theory that a psychedelic journey can cure severe mental illness. “Clinically I’m not entirely certain what a mystical experience can do in terms of vegetative depression,” she said. “I have to wonder how this type of experience is relative to being so depressed that you aren’t able to get out of bed. To me, it feels like you’re not actually treating the depression at its core — even if people are having meaningful experiences.”
‘Follow the science’
While key medical advances can come from experimentation, it’s important to not jump too quickly on the psychedelics-for-mental-illness bandwagon, said Joseph Lee M.D., president and CEO designate of the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation.
“In today’s age of hype,” Lee said, “we have to be careful. While there is some promising data about hallucinogens and depression, sometimes we can be a little premature and jump the gun. When you are a hammer everything is a nail.”
Joseph Lee
With this hammer-nail comparison, Lee cautions that practitioners should take a measured approach to the use of psychedelics in the treatment of mental illness. He is concerned by what he sees as an emerging overenthusiasm for this treatment approach.
Hallucinogens, Lee said, may have efficacy in the treatment of some conditions, but he cautions that they may not work equally for all. “I think we want to follow the science. What we mean by that is, ‘Follow the science fully.’”
Following the science means waiting for more robust research that proves psychedelics’ effectiveness in the treatment of mental illness, Albott said. “I have a lot of ambivalence about it, to be honest,” she said. “I think the research is still very much its infancy. There aren’t even any randomized controlled trials of the combination of ketamine with psychotherapy. There isn’t evidence supporting that.”
While Lee said that he understands that even the most addictive substances can be helpful to patients in controlled settings and he resists the impulse to “grant moral properties to substances,” he still remains concerned about the potential negative impact of psychedelics in the treatment of mental illness.
“We’ve seen the downsides of psychedelics,” he said, “everything from psychosis to people bypassing the rapid tolerance they get and using levels that aren’t safe.” In his experience as a child and adolescent psychiatrist, he said, “I have not had a number of young people come up to me and say, ‘Because of my experience with hallucinogens, I’ve thought differently about x, y, z.’ Maybe a handful — but not a significant amount.”
The same goes for patients addicted to other substances, Lee added: “The only people who came into my office talking about the benefits of alcohol for their health were people who drank too much.”
Regarding potential addiction, Doss said, “People who aren’t aware of the process and the medication automatically go toward addiction or abuse. Any drug can be abused. I don’t prescribe these drugs [directly to patients]. They are administered in a controlled setting in the correct manner. Patients don’t have access to them after they leave the facility.”
Albott also takes objection to the idea that there have been no significant effective treatments for mental illness introduced in the last several years.
“I think there has been substantial development in the treatment of depression,” Albott said, listing what she sees as significant advances in psychotherapy and other hands-on approaches. And new, non-pharmaceutical tools are being developed, she added: “I am part of a group that does interventional psychiatry using transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS), which has very few side effects and can be very effective for people. I wouldn’t say that we haven’t made any progress.”
Keller argues that at IIT he and Doss are focused on progress. Their goal is to help patients take the next step in the healing process: They see psychedelics as a key tool that can break patterns that have been blocking people from recovery.
To illustrate what he sees as the power of psychedelics in the treatment of mental illness, Keller describes a passage in Michael Pollan’s best-selling book, “How to Change Your Mind”: “He compares using psychedelics to going snow skiing: If you’re always heading downhill in the same tracks, eventually you’re going to create deep grooves in the snow. By the 500th time down, you’re stuck in the tracks you’ve established.”
All too often, Keller said, traditional mental health treatment follows the same well-worn grooves. He wants to help his patients forge a new path: “A psychedelic creates a new snowfall,” he continued. With the hill covered in fresh snow, “The tracks grab you less.”
