What to expect from CBT for anxiety

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A pounding heart, sleepless nights, and worrying thoughts. For those who live with anxiety, these symptoms will be all too familiar. Some find that cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is an effective way to help manage anxious thoughts and feelings, but the idea of your first session might be a cause for even more worry.

CBT is a talking therapy that addresses cycles of negative thoughts and feelings. Commonly used to treat anxiety and depression, therapy sessions focus on interrogating patterns of unhelpful thinking and behavior in order to develop practical coping skills.

If you’re considering starting CBT, or have already been booked in for your first session, knowing what to expect can help to ease any concerns. We spoke to counseling psychologist Dr Danielle Sampaio to find out more.

Know the basics

“CBT is a here-and-now therapy that offers a way to understand your current thought processes, and how they are contributing to the problems that you are having,” says Dr. Sampaio. “It offers a way to restructure your thoughts so that you can develop more helpful and balanced ways of thinking and behave in relation to specific issues and circumstances.”

Over the course of your treatment, you’ll build a toolkit to understand your anxiety and develop ways to address troubling thoughts. Sessions can take place in a group setting or one-on-one, and each session is about 50 minutes long.

“The goal of CBT is to equip you with the tools you need to manage your anxiety once the sessions are over”

Assessing the problem

Your therapist might be interested to know what is driving you to seek treatment, any past therapy that you’ve already had, and your hopes for these sessions. This will also be your opportunity to tell your therapist about the development of your anxiety, and what specific issues you’re experiencing.

“You might be asked to complete a questionnaire to measure the extent and type of anxiety and any other issues that your therapist should know about,” says Dr. Sampaio. “You don’t need to prepare anything, but if it helps you could write some notes beforehand, or things that you want to say or explain.”

Building a collaborative relationship

Seeking mental health support can sometimes feel exposing. But in order to effectively treat your condition, you need to be vulnerable and open about what is troubling you, and being able to create a relationship based on trust and honesty is key to getting the care you need.

“Your therapist will want to get to know your story, strengths, and struggles,” she says. “This helps them to piece together how your experiences may be affecting you.”

Although it can be challenging, be prepared to approach CBT with an open mind, and a willingness to share. Your therapist will be experienced in guiding and supporting you through the process.

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Doing your homework

CBT doesn’t just take place within therapy sessions – most therapists will assign exercises to complete in your own time. This could be something like keeping a diary or examining your thinking style each time you have a particularly pervasive worry.

“The therapy will encourage you to practice what you are learning in between sessions, to consolidate progress,” Dr. Sampaio says. “This will help the therapist to understand what happens in a real-life example. Some clients worry about this part, but it’s not like school homework – you won’t be told off if you don’t do it!”

Learning therapeutic tools

The goal of CBT is to equip you with the tools you need to manage your anxiety once the sessions are over. You can expect to learn practical techniques to help keep worries in check and to function through periods of poor mental health.

“This could be things like breathing exercises to help with panic, mindfulness, or compassionate exercises that build tools to help you to calm down,” Dr. Sampaio says. “Some of these you will practice with your therapist, and others you will do in your own time. You’ll also have regular review sessions to consider how the work is going, and how these tools are helping.”

These tools are there for you to call upon as you take the next steps, beyond therapy – like a first aid kit in your backpack, they’ll help you help yourself through.


 

 

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ADHD-Friendly Habits On Getting A Good Night’s Sleep

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ADHD-Friendly Habits On Getting A Good Night’s Sleep

A good night’s sleep not only helps recharge us physically but also helps us reboot mentally and emotionally. You must have heard the phrase “Let’s sleep on it” – have you ever wondered why it is said?

Many times, because of exhaustion, our minds have trouble staying alert. Sleep helps improve our ability to focus better, improve our mood, our health, and overall well-being.

Unfortunately, sleep eludes people struggling with mental health disorders. One of them is ADHD. Almost 50% of people with ADHD struggle with sleep issues.

Below are some sleep habits for people with ADHD who struggle to find a good night’s rest.

ADHD Friendly Sleeping Habits To Keep In Mind

ADHD-Friendly Habits To Keep In Mind

If you’re wondering, ‘How to fall asleep with ADHD”, you don’t have to look far. Here are some healthy sleep habits if you’re struggling with ADHD and finding it hard to sleep peacefully at night:

1. Tea Helps. A warm cup of tea before bed can help you improve your sleep. Many people (including myself) have found drinking a warm cup of chamomile tea before bed promotes sleep. Although, make sure you drink tea without caffeine.

2. Eat Light. Eating a heavy dinner before bed can also make it difficult to catch a good night’s rest. Make sure you eat a light dinner or healthy snack before bed.

3. Meditate. Having a quiet time to yourself before you go to sleep can help your mind calm down and get ready for sleep. If your child is struggling with sleep and ADHD then it is suggested you try quiet and focused playtime such as reading, listening to soothing music, breathing exercises, or meditation.

4. Warm Bath Also Helps. Warm baths or showers before bed can help you physically and mentally relax which, in turn, will help you catch sleep faster than usual.

5. Think Positive. Negative thoughts before you go to sleep can make it harder for your mind to relax and get into a positive state before bed. Here, you can try thinking positive and happy thoughts or picture yourself in your happy place. This will help you sleep in a positive mood.

6. Try Aromatherapy. Lavender, especially, can help promote sleep and relaxation. Using essential oils in diffusers, a drop on your pillow, or in your bath can be good ways to incorporate aromatherapy into your sleep routine. Other scents such as jasmine, ylang-ylang, and chamomile help in sleep too.

7. Be Patient. ADHD and insomnia can go hand in hand. In the beginning, sleep might not come easy but you need to be patient. Stick to your routine and gradually you’ll begin to reap the benefits of your efforts.

8. Be Consistent. Having a consistent schedule for waking up and going to sleep can also help you regulate your sleep cycle and get the rest you need. Being consistent with your sleep routine and bedtime rituals can improve your sleep with time.

9. Exercise. Vigorous exercises are not recommended before bed. Gentle exercises, however, can promote good sleep habits and overall health. Regular exercises can help improve your sleep – quality and duration. If your child has ADHD, make sure you include physical exercises in their routine.

10. Try Sleep Supplements. Many people find using sleep supplements such as melatonin and L-Theanine can help better sleep in both children and adults. However, it is strongly recommended you talk with a physician before taking any supplements. If you’re on any ADHD medication, mixing supplements with it can have side effects.

Avoid These Habits If You Have ADHD

While the above tips may help you catch a good night’s rest, these habits might interfere with your sleep:

1. Avoid Alcohol. While many people treat alcohol as a sedative and while it may work, your sleep will be restless. Alcohol might cause you to wake up in the middle of the night and might not let you get the restful, less disruptive sleep you need.

2. Avoid Sugary Beverages Or Snacks. Sugary foods and drinks might give you an energy boost which can make it harder for you to get a good night’s rest. Avoid such substances before bed, if possible.

3. Avoid Caffeine. Caffeine at least 4 hours before bed can also make it difficult for you to catch a restful sleep. Caffeine is diuretic and may cause you to wake up in the middle of the night. It can also act as a stimulant that might keep you awake all night.

4. Avoid Smoking. Nicotine is another substance that can cause a night of restless sleep. Not to mention, it is harmful to your lungs.

5. Avoid Hyper Focused Activities. Before bed, it is important to keep activities that might cause you to hyperfocus away. Avoid watching TV, staying late on the computer, and avoid using your phones before bed. Such activities can also disrupt your sleep.

Get Help…

While these sleep habits might help you fall asleep if you’re struggling with ADHD, it is important to understand that there is help available if these methods don’t work.

One of the treatments for ADHD is medications and if you or your child is on medications, ask your doctor if you can adjust the dose. Some medications can cause side effects which can make it harder to fall asleep.

If your sleep issues continue, seek help from a professional. Many a time, underlying sleep disorders such as insomnia, restless legs syndrome, or sleep apnea might be causing you sleeping problems.

ADHD is a challenging disorder to navigate but with the right help, it can be manageable. I hope the above ways and habits on how to fall asleep with ADHD can help you get the good night’s rest you need.

 

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Resilience Counseling: Building Resilience With The Help Of Counselors

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Resilience-counseling

There are some people who have good resilience skills and they are good at thriving and bouncing back every time life challenges them. If you think you lack resilience and after trying all those self-help tips to build resilience it didn’t work out, you can develop resilience even faster with the help of resilience counseling.

You might be thinking, is there really something like that? Yes, you can easily develop resilience by getting skilled from resilience counselors.

What is Resilience Counseling?

Resilience counseling revolves around different types of therapy. It totally depends on your condition, social functioning, and life situations. The major aim of resilience counseling is to apply methods taught by your counselors in your real life to develop resilience abilities or to become resilient towards challenges without involving in negative thinking.

Resilience counseling works on the basis of the below-mentioned therapies:

1. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a form of therapy wherein a counselor examines and evaluates your thoughts that basically drive your behavior.

The actual goal of CBT is to replace your negative thoughts with positive thoughts which are known as reframing the thoughts. With the help of CBT, you can make and carry out plans for fighting the obstacles and challenges of your life.

2. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is a form of CBT wherein the counselor helps you to learn and recognize the acceptance as they make life easy and it also provides benefits to move forward and bring a change.

DBT takes the help of CBT and other mindfulness techniques which are carried out in the group or individual sessions. DBT has shown effective results for people with borderline personality disorder, suicidal thoughts, and ADHD.

3. Trauma-Focused Therapy

Trauma-focused therapy shows effective results specifically in substance use disorder and other mental health issues. It works on the trauma which triggered the issues or disorder in the individual. This is the reason why trauma-focused therapy is also referred to as a resilience treatment.

Moreover, it is really important to deal with the trauma and a counselor helps to recover from the past and brings back your mental health and physical health to an improved level. Throughout the therapy, the counselor teaches resilience skills that help you to recover from the trauma and live the rest of your life positively.

4. Group Therapy

Group therapy helps an individual to deal with problems by learning different life lessons from other people. It also gives an opportunity to learn relaxation skills and express your feelings. Different types of group therapy are:

  • Behavior therapy
  • Psychodynamic therapy
  • Support therapy
  • Skills development therapy
  • Process-oriented therapy
  • 12-step programs therapy

5. Expressive Therapy

The aim of expressive therapy is to teach you how to express feelings in an appropriate manner. Some of the commonly used expressive therapies are:

  • Psychodrama
  • Music therapy
  • Creative writing therapy
  • Art therapy

Goals of Resilience Counseling

Below are the major goals of resilience counseling:

1. Gains insight

Resilience counseling helps you discover who you are and what you want by polishing your skills. It focuses on certain behaviors and thoughts that may contribute to harming yourself and others.

Over time, you learn how to explore your strengths and problems and it helps in gaining wisdom about what does not work and what actually works. Overall, it helps you to gain insight into yourself as a person.

2. Develops a growth mindset

Resilience counseling helps you in developing a growth mindset which helps you to fight back. It helps you to focus on the situation rather than sinking yourself into negative thoughts. Throughout resilience counseling, it reinforces the benefits of having a growth mindset.

3. Prevents relapse

It not only teaches you how to be resilient but resilience counseling also helps in preventing relapse of mental health issues. It basically diminishes the possibility of developing mental health issues again.

Effectiveness of Resilience Counseling

Resilience counseling totally depends on your acceptability and understanding. If learned properly, it can show various effective results on your mental health.

Getting Help

Licensed therapists and counselors help you throughout the journey of learning acceptance. At BetterHelp, you can choose the best therapists from the window and seek help. Learning resilience and becoming resilient is a bit of a complex task but with the help of a therapist, you can learn resiliency. Resilience counseling also teaches you to handle adversity at times.

And the best part is, you can attend therapy through an online platform as well. To seek the benefits of resilience counseling and connect with a mental health provider from BetterHelp, click here.

I hope this blog helps you to understand resilience counseling.

Thanks for reading!

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Swiping Left Or Right? Take A Look At The Possible Psychological Effects Of Online Dating

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Effects Of Online Dating on mental health

These days we have everything available at our fingertips, literally. Whether it be ordering groceries, watching movies, or dating. Online dating has gained traction over the last few years. While online dating may have benefits, it also has some drawbacks that can potentially affect our mental health, and not in a good way.

Dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, etc have become more popular and these apps have taken over cyberspace when it comes to the dating scene. With the advent of these apps, the risks of users developing issues such as low self-esteem, anxiety, etc have also increased, exponentially.

Before you go on swiping left or right, let’s take a look at the possible psychological effects of online dating and how online dating can affect our overall mental wellness.

Effects Of Online Dating

1. Rejection Can Be Debilitating

Rejection or fear of rejection is pretty high on the list of effects of online dating. Many studies have shown that 50% of online matches don’t return the texts. It is believed that if a message is not returned then that means that a person is being ignored or is rejected by the other.

Online dating and rejection, in a way, are closely related to each other. Rejection, in any form, can severely affect a person’s mental health. The pain of rejection can be more intense than physical pain.

While physical pain might leave physical scars behind, the pain of rejection might leave deeper scars on a person’s psyche. This fear of rejection can prevent a person to socially withdraw from the dating scene, go into depression, or develop other mental health issues.

2. The Ghosting Phenomenon

Ghosting is a term that can be closely associated with online dating. This term means that one person is not responding to the other’s texts, calls, etc, or is not showing up when they are expected. This is something that can be experienced by any person (regardless of age, sex, gender, etc) who’s dating.

Online dating can be depressing when someone you’ve been constantly talking to suddenly stops responding to you. This ghosting phenomenon can create severe damage to a person’s mental wellness.

It just doesn’t keep you thinking that somehow you ended up pushing the other person too fast or you will keep wondering if you were not good enough for them anymore. (Spoiler alert! You are amazing the way you are)

Anyone who’s experienced ghosting before will always feel fear and anxiety when the time to meet new people comes around. It can also make someone give up on finding love or dating completely.

2. Low Self-Esteem

People who are frequent users of online dating apps have lower self-esteem (or the risk of developing low self-esteem) than those who prefer in-person dating. As I said, online dating can increase the risk of getting rejected. Constant rejection and being ghosted can take a toll on a person’s wellbeing and lower their self-esteem.

Even if you’re getting ten messages and eleven rejections, it is the rejection that will stick with you. You will overlook the messages and focus on the rejection. This might lead a person to think that maybe there is something wrong with them or that maybe there are not good enough.

3. Risk Of Shallow Relationships

The fact is that via online dating, we meet many people – some good and some toxic. Online dating, however, can increase the risk of meeting people who are not interested in developing deep and meaningful relationships. Shallow relationships are formed in online dating which can be rather unsatisfying and leave you feeling lonely.

No matter what you do, any relationship that is not meaningful and leaves you feeling unfulfilled will result in loneliness.

To prevent depression and other mental issues from developing, you must engage in meaningful relationships with people you have real attachment and commitment. Loneliness can be as harmful to your mental health as depression can be.

3. Increase In Indecisiveness

When you’re into online dating, you are more often than not ‘matched’ with another user. Once you’re onto a dating site, it can become addictive and it can make you think that there can be someone better out there other than the person you’re currently dating.

This kind of thinking will only let you enter brief relationships where you will not feel committed to the ones you’ve chatted with. These brief relationships are never satisfying and along with loneliness, it can increase indecisiveness.

This indecisiveness can create anxiety because you’re anxious that you’ll meet someone different and more compatible than the person you’re currently with. And this cycle continues. When you meet someone online, you talk to them, and then you think you’ll meet someone better than them.

This indecisiveness can also carry on to your other aspects of life as well which can potentially harm your overall wellbeing.

Here the solution can be that instead of chatting too long, meet in person. When we see someone in person, it becomes easy to calculate and assess the compatibility. If you’re not compatible with the person, you can move on to find the right match.

Tips For Healthy Online Dating

Despite the drawbacks, online dating can help you meet new people and form connections. Before you try online dating, here are some tips to help you experience healthy online dating:

1. As yourself, if you’re ready to use a dating app. Are you resilient to handle the pain of rejection? If your answer is yes, go get ‘em! However, if your answer is no, then make sure you take time before trying online dating.

2. Limit your time on the app. It’s good that you’re taking time to meet new people but remember that you still have a life away from online dating. Keep a time limit on using the app. It’ll help you in the long run.

3. Try meeting in person as soon as possible. If you feel you have developed a connection with someone, then instead of continuing online chatting, try meeting in person to assess compatibility before moving on.

4. Stay positive and be kind. If you’re in a bad mood do not open the app. Engaging in a conversation in a bad mood will take away your chance to have meaningful and positive conversations. If someone rejects you via chat, be kind. Being rude and saying harsh words is not okay.

5. Remember setting boundaries No matter if its offline or online dating, set healthy boundaries if you want to develop a healthy and meaningful relationship in the future. Boundaries will help you keep your mental and emotional health intact.

Final Thoughts

Online dating and mental health are related, no matter how much we try to deny that. These days almost everyone prefers online dating to offline dating and while online dating might not feel as satisfying, there are some benefits too.

If you’re struggling with a mental health disorder, it is recommended you consult your therapist or a counselor before you step into the dating scene.

I hope the above-mentioned potential psychological effects of online dating helped you understand how to move forward when it comes to dating online.

Follow us on Facebook or Instagram to stay updated on our content. You can also write to us at info@calmsage.com for more.

Be safe!

Lots Of Love!

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Jeopardy Of Returning to Work After A Break ~ Things Women Face

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Are you a stay-at-home mom? Are you someone who is returning to work after a break? Or you have plans to? In this blog, I am going to share a combined experience of so many women out there who have been struggling to make it back to their career path after a long absence at work, including me.

A woman who is well-educated, knows her rights and question her existence is always on a lookout for some opportunities to take in her stride, this is one another outcome of the patriarchal system we are embedded with that we have to prove ourselves every now and then.

Being a single parent, now I don’t even have the liberty to mope or brood about my situation, I have to get to work. Although I have strong family support, this is not how I imagined myself in the famous” Where do I see myself in next five years” question, we get asked every time we give an interview.

What is it like to, returning to work after a break?

Over the past few months, I have been planning on returning to work after a break. I started applying for jobs. I have been doing good in my writing job, I get paid a decent amount but as a freelancer, it is still a fluctuating monthly income. In order to raise a child single-handedly and keep things running smoothly, I took this decision. But this doesn’t mean I will not blog,  I will minimize my spread maybe. I had everything planned out before I began applying to the jobs.

I started with modifying my CV, and it sucked big time with this huge career break of 5 years, because there exists a completely alien world outside our small writing community, and for them, our digital space doesn’t even exist. No matter how amazing you are at your work, no matter how many people love what you do, it becomes so hard to explain it to someone you just met.

So, finally, I prepared two separate CVs one for my corporate job in supply chain management and logistics profile, like my earlier job, and the second one that suits a job profile of a SEO writer/digital creator. I got few matches and even went through a few telephonic rounds.

returning to work after a break
Ready to work from home

Restarting after a career break

Do you know, what was worse than negotiating the salary? The pressure of convincing them that I still exist. Most of the time, when a recruiter is interviewing you, they make it a point to bring you to a level where you either lose yourself or the job. After enough of explaining and putting my best foot forward, I even got reminded of Geet from Jab We Met, where she says, “Aap convince hogae ki main aur bolu? –are you convinced now or should I explain more?

It was when the interviewer laughed and said that “oh so you a mom blogger”(it hit me hard), a good thing to do to pass the time from home. I was at my wit’s end. Because a thing of a time pass doesn’t help you earn name and money. It doesn’t get you listed among top bloggers, write 4 books, one biography and win awards. I wanted to tell it all to that guy but I kept my calm. Breath in, breath out, Priyanka! Then he started negotiating on the salary and considered the base as the salary I was earning back in 2016, seriously?

I just felt like hanging up the phone but then I reminded myself, this is reality. Every time we try to break the glass ceiling and we find such people in the way who try to break us. I see so many women returning to work after a break with a heavy heart sometimes compromising on their salaries and job profile. Sometimes not even being able to use their full potential because of the unsupportive environment we have got around. So many of us are frustrated inside because we want to do a lot of things, leave a mark behind but we don’t get opportunities.

How to get back to work after a long break?

It might sound like losing ourselves in a biological space suit and trying to figure out what might hit us next. But NO, we are not stopping here, neither we are giving up. What we can do is:

1.) Be realistic in your approach

2.) Have a cover letter and CV updated

3.) Set your priorities right

4.) Be open to seek help when needed

5.) Network and look out for career return programs (Godrej, Convergys, Tata group offer some)

I am going to work harder until I establish myself and maybe someday I will find a decent job with which I can pursue my passion for mental health blogging as well. Till then, I am all game. So are you returning to work after a break? I say, bring it on and we will make our way through all the jeopardies.

Love and light

……………………………………………………………………………

returning to work after a break

Priyanka Nair is the author of 26 Days 26 Ways for a Happier you and Ardhaviram. An NLP practitioner and Founder of Sanity Daily, helping you prioritize your mental health. Let’s build a happy community.


This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla.

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