Robbie Williams has revealed that there was a contract to kill him at the height of his fame.
The 46-year-old rock DJ singer described the scary side of life in the spotlight, admitting that it “doesn’t cost much” to throw him off balance while he was on anxiety medication and his battle with depression spoke.
Speaking to Fearne Cotton on her Happy Place podcast, Robbie also confessed that he was “mostly in pain” for the second half of his life. He insisted that the secret to finally being in a good place is to “be satisfied”.
Creepy! Robbie Williams, 46, has announced that there was a contract to kill him while describing the scary side of life in the spotlight at the height of his fame
Robbie revealed, ‘Simon Cowell said a line once, and it changed the way I think about things. He just said, ‘Embrace the madness.’ ‘
The singer explained how life changed when he became famous with the boy band Take That: “I’m from Stoke. I love my hometown because when I was 17 I couldn’t go or go out right away.
“People wanted to beat me up everywhere I went. There was a contract with me to kill myself at a point I never talked about.
Immediately my life was viewed through a filter and within five, six, seven months I was catapulted to Mars in a spaceship.
Candid: The rock DJ singer also admitted that it “doesn’t take much” to throw him off balance as he talks about taking anti-anxiety medications and fighting depression
Real Conversation: Robbie spoke to Fearne Cotton on her Happy Place podcast and also confessed that he was “mostly in pain” for the second half of his life (pic 2010).
“I should know how to man this spaceship and land it properly, take care of myself, and be safe. And I just wasn’t; I wanted to get back to normal.
“I wanted to eat my cake and it, although I was able to fulfill what I believed was my destiny, I didn’t know that there was no point in fighting it.”
Robbie found the situation so difficult that at the height of his success he had suicidal thoughts. Explain, “I had the opportunity to reach the top of the mountain.
“At one point in my career, I’ve sold the most tickets a body has ever sold in music history. I got the biggest record deal anyone has ever had in music history. And I wanted to kill myself.
Shocking! Explaining how fame changed his life, he said, “People wanted to beat me up everywhere I went. There was a contract with me to kill myself at a point I never talked about ‘(pic 1990)
Smart words: Robbie revealed, ‘Simon Cowell said a line once, and it changed the way I think about things. He just said: “Embrace the madness”, ‘
“So I had reached the top of the mountain and I think the mistake as a person is that everything would be fine if we only had this, this and that and that.
“Well, I’ve got all of that. I’ve got this, that, that, and that. And I felt worse than when I was 16 and had none of it. ‘
Robbie explained how his mental health improved through clean living and the help of medication.
The singer said: “I eat very well, I sleep very well. I don’t handle drugs or drink. This is of vital importance to me as a person. It’s enough to manage.
I also take anxiety medication. And the drug works. I have no intention of breaking away from it.
Depression is real: Robbie found the situation so difficult that at the height of his success he had suicidal thoughts (picture 2001).
The good place: The singer insisted that the secret of finally being in a good place is to “be satisfied” (picture with daughter Theodora (8) and son Charlton (6)).
“People sometimes feel ashamed of having to take medication or they don’t like the fact that there is some kind of poison in their system. The verdict on this is incredibly dangerous. It’s terrible.
“I know there was judgment from certain quarters when I pondered … we are not doctors. I am not suggesting that anyone should or should not take them. ‘
Robbie explained what it feels like to be an addict every day: “I wake up and the addict wakes up before me. And it’s like in X-Men.
“You have this ray from your chest, it wants to search, destroy and overcome and consume. When I don’t drink, take pills or powder and do all of that. If I shine this beam properly, I can achieve anything. ‘
Mental Health Matters: Robbie explained how his mental health has improved through living clean living and the help of medication
Candid: Robbie explained what it feels like to be an addict every day: “I wake up and the addict wakes up before me. And it’s like in X-Men ‘
The pop star explained what he has done since he was sober: “I made art – I made 33 pieces – 8 hours a day. I wrote a dance album. I had two ideas for a TV show – three – that I wanted to do.
“If you can harness the power of your own destructive nature, it is so powerful!”
Robbie continued, “I know where I’ve been, I know how overwhelmed I felt. I know the hellish days and nights that consumed my soul. I know I don’t want to go back there. ‘
The former Take That star admitted that he can feel depressed if he has to do something that pushes him out of his normal routine.
He said: “I will do everything I can to play on this level playing surface.
Honestly: The former Take That star admitted that he can feel depressed if he has to do something that pushes him out of his normal routine
“It doesn’t take much to throw me off balance. Promo for a breakfast show. I get up at 5 a.m. to do the 7 a.m. breakfast show – the rest of the day might as well be 1995 – I’m in a depression.
“I know what I need to not go back to who I was. I thought about going back to my school and talking about what’s possible in life. We have this psychology that great things happen to other people. ‘
Robbie also explained how he had assumed that the depression and self-loathing he felt in his twenties would go away in his thirties.
He said, “When you’re twenty-four, five, six think, when you’re thirty-four, five, six, seven all that depression and self-loathing and feeling uncomfortable will go away and you will be fixed to have .
“Then I realize that it hasn’t fixed me, and that’s terrifying … I was mostly in pain for the second half of my life.
‘Is that as good as it gets? Will it be like this for the rest of my life? Will I be in an uproar? Will I feel this pain for the rest of my life? ‘
Not as planned: Robbie also explained how he had assumed that the depression and self-loathing he felt in his twenties would go away in his thirties
Describing being in a good place for two years, the star said, “I heard someone say when you spent the second 20 years of your life sorting out the first 20 years of your life.
“I’m 46 now, I would say, for two years … life has been really good. You know what the miracle is, the miracle is that you only have one level playing surface. And that’s it.
“For me there are no incredible MDMA highs or those incredible cocaine highs or the steroid highs or the 80,000 people highs.
“What you have to think is funny, charming, good-looking, fastest, fastest, strongest …
‘The secret is content. That is the secret. I’ve noticed over the past few years that I’m satisfied. It’s just a wonderful feeling. I would say most people are not normal – but a lot of people feel that way at first. Just being okay is the miracle. ‘
Life is good: “I’m 46 now, I would say, for two years … life was really good. You know what the miracle is, the miracle is that you only have one level playing surface. And that’s it’
Speaking specifically about his battle with anxiety in 2006 while the Close Encounters Tour was taking place, he admitted that he would cry with his depression.
He said, “I was born raw without the elastoplast and the world kept nudging that wound. I felt like the most sensitive person in the world.
“It felt like I had nothing to fight this stuff. Those were the first signs of depression – I would feel less than and embarrassed.
‘I would cry. I thought, “Why am I so soft, why does it affect me so much?” That mixed with the toxicity of fame, it was not pleasant to meet strangers and meet strangers 30-40 times a day.
“You’re sad that you can’t give people what they want. Then you feel bad because people judge you badly. You are in a no-win situation. “Please be gentle, I’m still learning,” is one of my lyrics.
Looking Back: Speaking specifically about his battle with anxiety in 2006 while the Close Encounters Tour was taking place, he admitted that he would cry with his depression
Thinking about that time, he explained how he felt and said, “I can’t handle this so I won’t go out, and so it happened in 2006 – the people, the press, the people.
“This level of awareness that I once had was synonymous with a drone following you and telling the world about everything you do.
I went away for three years and intense headlights that followed me faded away. And when I got out of my cave, I tried to recreate what I had before. It took me a good 5 years to find my place on stage again.
“If your computer is overloaded, there must be something. I know meditation is the key.
“I know that mantras and chanting are an inside job and yet … everything I yearn for and want to achieve is outside of me. We are a brand new person every day. ‘
His anchor: When Robbie spoke about Ms. Ayda, he said: “It helps that I have a nice relationship with a beautiful person. I have this anchor and this safe place.”
Robbie said of Ms. Ayda: “It helps that I have a nice relationship with a beautiful person for whom I have this anchor and safe place. I have my happy place to build.
“When I was just a man-child and bypassing the word and acting like a man-child, I didn’t have the tools or the safety net to build a better life for myself.”
“My wife has had so much therapy that she understands my nature. I have a safe place to go. ‘
Here is the full interview on Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place Podcast