Paulina Porizkova has spoken of the “strangely energizing” anger she feels after the death of her late husband Ric Ocasek, who cut her out of his will when she vows to “move on” in the fight against depression and anxiety.
The 55-year-old model took to Instagram on Monday to share a kaleidoscope-style photo of herself that was captured at the Museum of Illusions in New York City. In the caption, she admitted that she is angry but is slowly getting into it.
“I hope your weekend was better than mine! Well, a rainy Monday – but I feel stronger. And angrier. I was raised out of fear of anger, ”she wrote, recalling how some of her closest family members struggled with anger.
Honest: Paulina Porizkova, 55, spoke of the “strangely energizing” anger she felt when she posted a kaleidoscope-style photo of herself on Instagram
Complicated Emotions: The Sports Illustrated star has struggled with anger, depression and anxiety since the death of her husband Ric, who passed away last year
“My grandpa (who I lived with as a child) was prone to major tantrums: I saw a couple of tantrums being thrown through closed windows by flower pots – when grandma tried to catch them in the yard – and the time when he chased her through The house with the ax is a family legend, ”she shared.
“My mother inherited his anger – and I’ve learned to be very, very careful. And that anger was an unpredictable, searing force that destroyed souls. I also learned later that nothing is as socially compromising as female anger. ‘
Paulina noticed that a woman’s anger is often not taken seriously and explained: “An angry woman rarely gets through. Instead, she is mocked and shamed. Even with a lover, partner, husband, man who loves them, their anger can be laughed at and lessened.
“Now I find that a shot of anger is strangely stimulating,” she added. “I’ll go on, damn it.”
The Sports Illustrated star ended her post with a note about the kaleidoscopic image stating that it was taken by someone named Peter.
Memories: Paulina first met Ric on the set of The Cars’ music video for ‘Drive’ in 1985 and dated for three decades
Heartbreak: Paulina and Ric were separated at the time of his death, and The Cars front man cut her out of his will, claiming she “left” him. They are pictured with their sons in 2016
“Photo of Peter in a cool museum in New York – Museum of Illusions, which is all about perspective,” she wrote. “I chose this photo to show all of the small fragments that make up us as a whole. Including the potential for anger. It may not be what we think or want – but it’s beautiful nonetheless. “
Paulina has experienced waves of anger, depression and anxiety since the death of her late husband Ric, who died on September 15, 2019 at the age of 75 in their shared townhouse in Manhattan.
She and The Cars front man had two children together, sons Jonathan, 27 and Oliver, 22. They were married for three decades before silently parting in 2017, but they hadn’t finalized their divorce when he passed away last year.
Before his death, Ric cut his estranged wife out of his will and claimed that she had “abandoned” him.
“I have not made any arrangements for my wife Paulina Porizkova (‘Paulina’) as we are divorcing,” said the famous singer in his will.
The rocker also left no provisions for his two eldest sons Chris and Adam from his previous marriage to first wife Constance Campbell, but his other four children were all included.
Happy day: Paulina celebrated Thanksgiving at her home in upstate New York with her sons and author Nicolaia Rips (pictured), with whom she is close friends
Holiday spirit: The model posted a cheeky photo of herself in a novel apron with a body dressed in lingerie for women. It was a “present from my husband when he still liked me”.
Paulina was incredibly open about her struggle to deal with her grief over Ric’s death, as well as her feelings of pain and betrayal over his decision to cut her out of his will after their breakup.
The couple were separated and divorced when he died. However, since they were not legally divorced, Paulina, as his widow under New York law, may be entitled to an “electoral portion” of his estate.
Ric explicitly referred to the rule in his will and stated: “Even if I should die before our divorce is final … Paulina is not entitled to a share of the vote … because she has left me.”
Unless she can be shown to have left him in court, she is likely to be entitled to a third of the musician’s assets, which are listed as $ 5 million in “copyrights”, $ 100,000 in “tangible personal property” is. and $ 15,000 in cash.
Earlier this month, Paulina admitted in an open Instagram post that she accused herself of trusting Ric.
“While my love for my husband was constant and my trust in him was absolute, I was clearly delusional,” she wrote. I thought I knew him. I thought we had the same definition of “love”. Mourning him is equal to heartbreak and anger. ‘
Big move: Before Thanksgiving, she announced she was looking for a home in New York and said she found two rentals that she really liked
Looking ahead: Paulina said she was continuing from the betrayal of her late husband
Paulina went further on the state of her finances while she is in the process of legally challenging the will of her deceased husband.
“If you follow me because falling from supermodel to poor makes me more relatable – don’t follow either. I’m not destitute, “she insisted. I am not allowed to share my situation as we are in a legal battle, but I am still an incredibly privileged person whom I have nothing to cry about but my own stupidity.
“I have to face that now. Myself. My mistakes. There are many of them. And I have no doubt – if I’m lucky – I’ll earn a lot more, “she ended her post with the hashtag” #olderyetnotwiser “.
Paulina recently sold the townhouse in Gramercy Park where she and Ric have lived with their children for three decades. Before Thanksgiving, she announced she was looking for an apartment in New York and said she had found two rentals that she really liked.
She insisted that she was not buying an apartment but admitted that she wished she could.
“I know NYC will return better and stronger as always. I moved to the city in 1982-83 and it reminds me of the city today, ”she wrote. “Things are not perfect. It’s a little criminal. But it’s like no other city in the world.”
Goodbye: Paulina recently sold the townhouse in Gramercy Park where she and Ric have lived with their children for three decades
Tired: Paulina announced in an open post at the end of October that she was struggling with depression and anxiety
Paulina celebrated Thanksgiving at her home in upstate New York with her sons and author Nicolaia Rips, with whom she is close friends.
The day before the vacation, she posted a cheeky photo of herself boiling in comfortable sweat, paired with a novel apron with a woman’s body clad in lingerie.
“Oh baby, it’s getting hot in the kitchen! For today’s #Wednesdaywearables, I’m showcasing my 10-year-old velor casual wear by Athleta – yes, again – but this time with this badass sexy apron that might have been a joke from my husband when he still liked me. she labeled the picture.
‘HAPPY THANKSGIVING! I know I will thank you for health and love – the only two things that really matter. (Oh yes, and my new apartment!) ‘
It’s been a difficult month for Paulina, who charged for a week at a spa after suffering a nervous breakdown during a short-lived getaway with her sons at an airport.
It reached its breaking point when they landed in Costa Rica; She found out that her passport had expired and they had to return home immediately.
“I had a total nervous breakdown at the airport and they actually had to put me in a wheelchair to take me back to the plane. I cried so hard I didn’t even remember it,” she said at the time. “I think this is going to be a really funny story soon.”