Fearne Cotton spoke about her depression in an open interview with Angela Scanlon’s Thanks A Million podcast.
The 39-year-old television and radio host admitted that depression is part of her everyday life and that it shook her “job confidence”, which in part led her to leave her roles on Celebrity Juice and BBC Radio.
‘[Depression] is a chapter that I talk about a lot in my work, but not really about it because there is so much of it that I can still process it and still have a bit of a hangover, ”explained the mother of two. “A lot of my work comes from the area of my life where I’ve gotten into a pretty big hole in depression and didn’t seem to make much sense around me.
Honestly: Fearne Cotton spoke about her depression in an open interview
“I felt very isolated and very alone in my experience. It was a long time before I even dared use the word depression …
“Now it’s an everyday part of my life, whether it’s friends who know I’ll open up about this or mainly in my work. Before that point, I would never have dared talk about my sanity. I don’t think I even knew what that was.
“Obviously I felt very alone by default because I hadn’t had these conversations. There are a couple of things I’m still working on. One of them is trust because I totally lost it when I didn’t have anything at all, which has really gotten me back in my work life and something in my personal life …
“I’ve really lost confidence in my professional life … I literally couldn’t stand up like I used to.”
Taking a toll: The 39-year-old television and radio host admitted that depression is part of her everyday life and that it shook her “job confidence”, which partly led her to leave her roles on Celebrity Juice [pictured] and on BBC Radio
Extensive: Fearne discussed the topic on Angela Scanlon’s Thanks A Million podcast
Fearne hosted a morning show on BBC Radio 1 from 2009 to 2015, after which she sat for Zoe Ball on Radio 2 before quitting. From 2008 to 2008 she was team captain at Celebrity Juice.
“I still have this weird hangover,” she continued. “I willingly went to Sunday brunch over the weekend, which is always the most joyful experience. They feed you, they give you alcohol at 10am, it’s a very nice experience …
‘[Before] I wouldn’t even think about it. I would feel completely calm, enjoy it, and be excited to move on. But I think the lack of self-confidence I lost during this time of depression is still very difficult for me to conjure up in these very insightful live TV ways that anyone could ask me something at any point.
“And it’s like anyone can say something, do anything. I used to love it, give it a kick, and now I feel like a soft peach, like I’m too exposed and find it really scary. ‘
Open: Fearne cites her sanity as the reason for leaving these shows and has only shining things to say about the experience of being on top of others
Fearne cites her sanity as the reason for leaving these shows and has only shining things to say about the experience of being different on them.
“Honestly when I did my Radio 1 show it was just a joy. There might be a lot going on for me towards the end, but for most of my Radio 1 career it felt really easier, I think, ”she said.
She added, “I left Radio 1 and wanted my daughter Honey, my second child. I had no work at all. None. No jobs. I didn’t have a safety net. I think I was busy with it. And then all the other things came really later.
‘But it was worth the jump. I think a little pause or a little silence isn’t a bad thing. And this is where you start to potentially have ideas and see life in a new way. ‘
Candid: “My professional life, I really lost my confidence … I literally couldn’t get on my feet like I used to,” she said
About the reason she left her position as Zoe Ball’s deputy, Fearne said, “I’m like the biggest Zoe Ball fan, I’ve been since I was a kid. So it was the greatest honor to report for their show.
“And I loved it, I did it for about a year, and it was amazing. And then I had to have a really honest conversation with beautiful Helen on Radio 2 and just say, “I don’t sleep at all all night before. And I’m doing the show for a little over two weeks and it’s going to make me sick.” “
“You know, I just think you have to take care of your health, which is the most important thing we have … I cried my eyes when I screamed my eyes out for not wanting it. But I think sometimes we have to honor what our body tells us. ‘
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