September, 2021 | depression hurts us

When & How To Talk To Your Partner About Your Depression | Tips To Keep In Mind

Post author:admin
Post published:September 26, 2021
Post category:POSTS

Living with depression can be challenging, not only when it comes to your professional or social life but romantic relationships as well. If you’ve experienced depression or if you’re experiencing depression for the first time, the hallmark symptoms can make it difficult for you to enjoy a fun, open, and happy relationship with your partner.

But did you know that being able to share your challenges of mental struggles with your partner and having their support can be healthy for you and your relationship?

Yes! Talking about depression with your partner means being true to yourself and your mental health struggles. Especially with something that has the potential to affect both your lives.

Talking to your partner or spouse about your depression can help them understand how they can support you. One of the symptoms (and also a result) of depression is isolation or loneliness. Having a loving partner’s support can help you see a situation from a different perspective and also let you see the hope for a better future.

First, Let’s Take A Look At What Depression Might Look Like For You

Look At What Depression Might Look Like For You

Depression is one of the most affected mental illnesses around the world according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). For people experiencing a depression relapse or first-time depression, symptoms can vary from mild to severe.

As difficult as it can be, talking about your depression and its symptoms can make it easier for your partner to support you. Your partner is your advocate, your cheerleader, so telling them about your symptoms can be awkward and difficult but important.

Now, if you don’t know what you need, how will you convey your needs to your partner?

The first step is to understand your symptoms and how those are affecting your overall wellness. Everyone’s symptoms of depression can vary. Check-in with yourself to understand how depression looks like for you.

Some common symptoms of depression can be:

When Is The Right Time To Tell Your Partner About Your Depression?

When Is The Right Time To Tell Your Partner About Your Depression

It’s not about a particular time or a day that you should keep in mind about when to tell your partner about your depression. What matters here is to do whatever makes you feel most comfortable.

It’s okay if you want to talk over breakfast or during a casual conversation if it makes you feel more at ease. The point is to not feel embarrassed or guilty when it comes to sharing your struggles with your partner. Remember, depression is not something you should feel ashamed of.

If you don’t know how to tell your partner, you can also consider using pop culture references such as suggesting watching a movie and spend the time after discussing the struggles in the movie. Comparing and contrasting your experiences with those of a movie character can help.

Pick an activity that makes you feel comfortable about sharing your struggles and experiences with your partner. The overall point here is to let your partner express their opinion on your mental health struggles and let them decide how they want to move forward in the relationship.

How To Start The Conversation?

How To Start The Conversation

Now that you’ve decided to talk to your partner about depression, here are some conversation starters you can use to outline your discussion:

1. Know Your Intentions

What are you looking for? Is it emotional support? Or is it more than just an understanding? These questions are important before you begin the conversation. Once you know why and what you need from your partner, you can think about the hows of starting the conversation.

Some questions to help you get started can be:

How much are you willing to tell your partner about your depression?
What is the reaction you’re hoping for?
What kind of support are you looking for?
Do you want your partner involved in your treatment plan?

Once you know your intentions, you can begin preparing a plan on how to begin your conversation. Let your partner know your intentions too. Telling them what you need from them at this point can help.

2. Use Statistics & Resources

One of the important things to do is to educate yourself about depression and how it affects someone’s life. Sharing information and resources with your partner would be effective if you know about it from a clinical and educational perspective.

Experiences of depression are different for everyone and the most important thing to do is to understand the signs, types, causes, and treatments available for depression. It is also important to note that depression can coexist with other mental health disorders.

If you’re worried about your partner’s response, then it is suggested you bring official statistics and resources to the table. How you start the conversation depends on your relationship but sharing resources can help your partner better understand your struggles.

3. Share Your Treatment Plan

Regardless of whether you’re experiencing a depression relapse or first-time depression, make sure your partner is involved in your treatment plan and is aware of your feelings. You might think you can handle your depression alone (and while you can), you shouldn’t. Emotional support from a loved one can help in your recovery.

If you’re seeing a therapist or a counselor, ask them to see in what ways you can add your partner into your therapy plan. Having your partner share your treatment plan can help them understand how to adjust to your daily life and see how they can contribute to your recovery.

You can also ask your partner to accompany you to your sessions. This will allow your partner to get a deeper insight into your struggles and experiences.

4. Keep Communication Open & Honest

If your partner fails to offer you support, it’s not your fault. They might not understand your depression or how to help you. Talking to your partner about your depression is not only about strengthening your bond but also about improving the communication between you two.

Opening up about your depression with your partner should not change the dynamics of your relationship. If your partner is unsure how to support you, you can let them know what you need from them. Keep the communication line open at all times.

Any kind of negative reaction may cause trouble in your relationship but it will not be because of your depression. It could be a sign that your relationship is not as strong as you had hoped. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, your mental peace and health should be your priority.

If your partner’s response is troubling you, you can always seek couples therapy or individual therapy to understand how to move forward.

Writer’s Thoughts

Talking about your depression with your partner can be challenging but it can help you gain more support and help. Depression is a part of you but it does not define who you are as an individual. It isn’t something you should be ashamed of either. Try to be open and honest about your experiences with your partner.

Not talking about something as important as depression can affect your relationship and cause your partner to distance themselves from you if you’re not open about what’s bothering you. While having a mental illness is not your fault, it takes a lot of courage and bravery to open up about it.

Deciding to share your struggles is a huge step forward and a very important step for your recovery process. Remember, you are not alone in your struggles. Talking to your partner about depression cannot be easy but with the above-mentioned steps, it can be possible.

Take Care!

Is Cognitive Bias Affecting Your Decision Making? Here’s How You Can Avoid Common Biases

Post author:admin
Post published:September 26, 2021
Post category:POSTS

It’s time. You need to decide the most important thing in your life. You have done your research, listed the pros and cons, and have consulted your trusted companions. Now that it’s time, can you make an objective and rational decision?

Probably not…

Why do I say this? Because you’re reviewing the information you’ve gathered using your cognitive abilities and your life experiences. However, like every other human being, you might’ve also developed some cognitive biases.

These biases – for the lack of a better word, control what information you need to attend to, what you remember from your previous experiences, and who you can trust to help you decide.

But before we come to how these cognitive biases affect our decision-making, let’s take a quick look at what cognitive bias is.

What Is Cognitive Bias?

What Is Cognitive Bias

A cognitive bias is a flaw in your thinking that causes you to misinterpret or misunderstand the information you’re getting from others and draw an incorrect conclusion based on the inaccurate information.

Daily, you are bombarded with millions of pieces of information. This flood of information causes your brain to create a ranking system to decide which news deserves to be attended to and which needs to be stored for later processing.

Our brain is smart enough to create shortcuts that help us cut down the processing time but one of the biggest problems here is that these shortcuts and ranking aren’t always accurate or objective as more often than not, they are based on our previous life experiences.

Signs Of Cognitive Bias

All of us have cognitive biases and while some may be easier to spot in others, it’s important to note that this is something that can affect you and your thinking too.

Some common signs of cognitive bias can be:

Trusting news pieces that confirm your views
Blaming external factors when things don’t go your way
Thinking others share your views and beliefs
Knowing little about something then assuming you know everything about it

It’s normal to think that you’re making objective and logical judgments after evaluating all available information, unfortunately, your cognitive biases sometimes mislead us which can cause us to make poor and illogical decisions.

Common Types Of Cognitive Bias

Some common types of cognitive biases we all experience at some point in our lives can be:

Actor-Observer Bias: This bias is when you attribute your actions to external factors while assigning others’ to internal factors. Eg: You may attribute your poor performance to a poor environment but others’ to a lack of motivation.
Anchoring: This is when you rely too heavily on the very first piece of information you get. Eg: You learn the average price of a cell phone is a certain value, you’ll think that anything below this value is a great deal, however, you won’t look for better deals.
Attentional: This is when you pay attention to some things while ignoring other things at the same time. Eg: While buying a phone, you may pay attention to the camera and the screen size but ignore the storage size and software version.
Confirmation Bias: This bias is when you support the information that adheres to your opinions and beliefs while discrediting the ones that do not.
Misinformation: When your memory of an event is influenced by what you hear from others.
Self-Serving Bias: When you blame external factors for when bad things happen and pat yourself on the back when good things happen.

How Does Cognitive Bias Affect Decision Making?

How Does Cognitive Bias Affect Decision Making

Cognitive biases can affect your decisions while also limiting your problem-solving skills. This kind of flawed thinking can hamper your success, undermine your memories, question your crisis-resolution skills, increase your anxiety, and even negatively impact your relationships – personal and professional.

If you keep a list of every possible solution to a problem, then it would probably take a lot of time to make a simple decision, right?

Because of the complexity of our reality and the amount of information we retain in a day, it can become normal for us to rely on our cognitive shortcuts and ranking systems. However, they are not always accurate.

Our mental shortcuts, also known as heuristics, often play a role in how cognitive bias causes errors in our thinking.

However, they are not the only ones to blame. Other factors that can cause errors in our thinking and subsequently our decision-making can be:

How Can You Avoid Cognitive Bias?

How Can You Avoid Cognitive Bias

While you cannot avoid cognitive biases altogether, there are ways you can prevent them from affecting your decisions and decision-making process.

Being Aware: The first step is to be aware of your biases and how they are affecting your decisions. Once you know which biases are influencing your decisions – and how – you can effectively change course to reduce the effects of these cognitive biases.
Analyze The Factors: Are the factors internal or external? Is it overconfidence or ignorance? Analyze the factors that are affecting your decisions. Just by doing this, you can make better and healthy choices.
Question Your Biases: If there are factors that are influencing your decisions, focus on the biases in your thinking. Are you weighing your decision on certain factors? Are you ignoring what is obvious because of your opinion? Questioning will help you become a better thinker.
Be Objective: Checklists, algorithms, statistics, and other objective measures can also help you prevent cognitive biases from affecting your decisions. Focus on more relevant information than on irrelevant ones.

Writer’s Thoughts

Cognitive biases are the defects in your thinking that can cause you to make illogical and inaccurate decisions. Yes, cognitive biases can negatively affect your thinking and can cause you to focus on one side of the coin while overlooking the other one.

You cannot completely avoid cognitive biases but with some steps (mentioned above) you can improve your skills to spot cognitive biases and prevent them from influencing your decisions.

Experiential Therapy For Mental Health: Techniques, Benefits & How It Helps

Post author:admin
Post published:September 26, 2021
Post category:POSTS

When I say therapy, what’s the first thing you can think of? Probably a room with a couch and an armchair? The therapist sitting with a clipboard and asking questions?

Well, you’re not far from the truth but therapy is more than just a conversation with a therapist. When we think therapy, more often than not we think of talk therapy, one of the forms of psychotherapy.

Psychotherapy is a vast field with many different techniques of therapy approaches for various mental health, emotional health, as well as spiritual health conditions.

One of these forms is experiential psychotherapy. As the name suggests, this form of psychotherapy relies on you engaging in certain activities and experiences to help in your healing process.

In this blog, we’ll read more about what is experiential therapy, experiential therapy techniques, how it can help, and its effectiveness.

What Kind Of Therapy Is Experiential Therapy?

What Kind Of Therapy Is Experiential Therapy

Experiential therapy is the kind of psychotherapy that supports the use of tools, experiences, and activities that help you express your emotions or recreate past or present situations to better understand your concerns.

Experiential psychotherapy uses tools such as role-playing, drama therapy, music therapy, art therapy, pet therapy, or wilderness therapy to help in your healing.

This approach to psychotherapy emphasizes experiences and actions. When you engage in an action, you access the psychological factors you might have not accessed otherwise. Experiences and actions also push for a change in your life. They make you look at your situation from a different perspective and make you think differently.

What Are Experiential Therapy Techniques?

Experiential therapy uses expressive activities and tools to help you process your past experiences and heal. As you engage in these techniques, you begin to identify emotions from your past experiences and understand how those are impacting your present.

This therapy approach is client-centered and the activities are based on your preferences.

There are various experiential therapy techniques and types but some common techniques can be:

1. Art Therapy

Art Therapy

Art therapy involves activities such as drawing, painting, sculpting, etc to help you express and work through your difficult emotions.

Examples of art therapy can be:

Painting or using colors to express emotions
Creating an art journal
Writing a postcard
Sculpting or clay modeling
Creating a collage

2. Music Therapy

music_therapy

Music therapy is another common type of experiential therapy that allows you to engage in activities such as singing or listening to music to strengthen communication skills, express difficult emotions, and center your mind.

Examples of music therapy can be:

Listening to soothing tunes
Discussing feelings brought on by music
Creating music
Playing an instrument
Writing songs to express emotions

3. Experiential Family Therapy

Experiential Family Therapy

This technique of experiential therapy is a type of group therapy approach where family members can interact with each other while engaging in an activity. This kind of technique helps the therapist understand the family dynamic and helps improve family engagement and participation.

Examples of experiential family therapy can be:

Family members sharing memories
Storytelling to communicate feelings
Members writing complaints, anonymously

4. Psychodrama

psychodrama

Also known as drama therapy, this technique is the most common approach to experiential therapy. It involves re-creating emotional situations in a safe space. This technique helps in releasing negative and repressed emotions.

Examples of drama therapy can be:

Role-playing
Mirroring
Soliloquy

5. Other Approaches

other_approaches

Other common approaches of experiential therapy can include animal-assisted therapy, wilderness therapy, adventure therapy, etc. Pet therapy involves interacting with animals and caring for them.

Wilderness therapy involves interacting surrounded by nature to encourage self-reflection.

Adventure therapy includes activities such as hiking, camping, or biking to help you in problem-solving or managing situations that may trigger your stressors.

What Is Experiential Therapy Used For?

Experiential therapy can be used to treat various mental health conditions including:

What Are The Benefits Of Experiential Therapy?

What Are The Benefits Of Experiential Therapy

There are many benefits of experiential therapy such as:

Release Negative Emotions: Experiential psychotherapy helps you re-create emotional or traumatic experiences. This helps in understanding your reaction to the experience and release any repressed emotions that may be stalling your healing.
Processing Emotions: This type of psychotherapy helps you to delve deeper into your emotional understanding and process all the emotions and feelings that you may have suppressed.
Confronting Thoughts: We tend to avoid thoughts and places related to a traumatic situation but with experiential therapy, you learn how to confront those thoughts and feelings and move on.
Changes Perspective: One of the approaches to experiential therapy, psychodrama, allows you to change your perspective and see the situation from others’ point of view, promoting acceptance and forgiveness.
Creative Expression Of Emotions: Since experiential psychotherapy uses expressive arts such as music therapy, art therapy, etc, to release emotions and understand feelings, it allows you to be creative with your emotional expression.

Should You Try Experiential Therapy?

Should You Try Experiential Therapy

Experiential therapy may not be effective or helpful for everyone. Especially if you’re struggling with cognitive impairment, physical impairment, or psychosis. Experiential therapy is quite intense so it’s recommended you consult with a professional before choosing this approach.

If you’re considering experiential therapy, then it is recommended you speak to a licensed and trained therapist especially when considering art therapy or animal-assisted therapy.

Keep in mind, some approaches to experiential therapy can be intense, so you must work with someone you can trust and have a strong therapeutic rapport with.

Any Major Limitations?

While experiential therapy offers alternative practices to self-reflection and emotional processing, there is some limitation to this psychotherapy too.

One of the major limitations is that experiential therapy may fail to connect the activities or interventions with your issues. Here, classic psychotherapy or talk therapy can help. Again, it is recommended you consult a professional mental health counselor before deciding on a therapy approach.

Writer’s Thoughts

Experiential psychotherapy is a hands-on and intense therapy approach that uses expressive tools, experiences, and activities to help you heal and process your repressed emotions. It not only helps you process your emotions, gives you a different perspective, but also helps promote creative expression of your thoughts and feelings.

Six ways to help manage cravings and urges

Post author:admin
Post published:September 26, 2021
Post category:POSTS

It’s normal for anyone who has an addictive behavior to experience cravings, but that doesn’t make them any less frustrating. During the initial stages of recovery, they can be intense, but over time, and with perseverance, they will subside.

Cravings can be both physical and psychological in nature and are generally most intense during the withdrawal period. The brain will work overtime, and may come up with all sorts of excuses like: “This will be the last time.” As for how long cravings will last, it isn’t possible to put a timeframe on that, but the key thing to remember is that they are not permanent.

If not handled properly, cravings can lead to a relapse, so the most important thing is to know your triggers and to learn strategies for dealing with them. Here are six tips to help you manage cravings and urges.

1. Be aware of your triggers

A trigger is a stimulus that sparks a craving and could include a place, time, event, person, emotion, or a withdrawal trigger – which is a biological response to the lack of an addictive substance. Try keeping a journal and taking note of when your cravings arise throughout the day, as well as your accompanying thoughts and emotions. If you know your triggers, this can help you to anticipate cravings as they surface. Consider which triggers you could avoid, but recognize that some will be unavoidable.

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2. Find a distraction

When a craving arises, stop what you’re doing and distract yourself with something else, which could help take your attention away from the addictive behaviour. By simply changing your routine, you may be able to shake off a craving. Consider starting a hobby, as this can provide you with something else to engage in. Perhaps you could do a creative activity such as baking, arts and crafts, writing, or anything that takes your fancy.

3. Positive self-talk

Having cravings can trigger automatic responses, which are often not conscious – for example: “I want a cigarette, so I’ll have it.” Saying no to these urges is perhaps one of the most difficult things to do. Try to replace the urges with a positive statement that overrides them. You could also write a list which contains all the reasons you’ve decided to quit your habit, as well as the negative consequences of continuing with it. Having the list to hand when you feel a craving come on could help you to overcome the urge and feel empowered.

4. Embrace exercise

Exercise is an easy way to reduce cravings, as it releases endorphins and boosts your energy. Studies show that short periods of physical activity can help to reduce withdrawal symptoms and cravings. When a craving arises, use it as a prompt to go for a walk or jog, or even go up and down the stairs in your house a few times. If exercise isn’t part of your lifestyle, try setting aside a regular time for exercise that fits in with your personal schedule.

“Having cravings can trigger automatic responses, which are often not conscious – for example ‘I want a cigarette, so I’ll have it’”

5. Be prepared for triggering situations

If there are people, places, and things that constantly trigger cravings, it may be best to avoid them. However, it is always good to have a plan, in case you do find yourself in a triggering situation. Consider in advance what you will do and how you will leave. It may be a good idea to have someone to call for support. While avoiding triggers is important, it can be equally beneficial to replace them with healthy behaviors, such as practicing meditation or spending time with people who care for you.

6. Reach out to your support network

Professional treatment with a therapist may be necessary to overcome addiction, which can enable you to manage triggers and cravings as well as feel supported. It can be equally beneficial to be part of a group, to not feel alone on your journey. Consider joining a support group with other recovering addicts. Connecting with others in similar situations can really help bolster our inner strength, and offer encouragement and support.

You are Not Your Mistakes! Here’s How to Stop Dwelling on Your Mistakes

Post author:admin
Post published:September 24, 2021
Post category:POSTS

You are not your mistakes! Always remember that. We have all been there and our mistakes have haunted us for years. Wouldn’t it be nice to stop worrying about something that happened in the past? There’s no way we can change what happened, all we can change is the way we look at it now.

Does it make sense? See, we are human and we ought to make mistakes. No one is perfect or perhaps being imperfect is perfect because being imperfect is being human. You didn’t make a mistake knowing that you’ll be doomed!

Most things that we do always have an honest intention behind it. The execution can be faulty and that’s how you end up with a mistake. I have made a lot of mistakes in life and so have you. Tell me honestly how many hours have you spent dwelling on your mistakes? I have spent years doing that and trust me it will do you no good.

I understand what you must be going through. To ease your worry and anxiety about your mistakes in the past, I have something for you…

How to Stop Dwelling on Your Mistakes?

You know it in your heart that you are overthinking your mistakes. Even though you aren’t sharing your thoughts and feelings with anyone, it will still show in your behavior. And that’s not good. Feeling miserable and not being able to do anything is not good.

It’s time we stop dwelling on our mistakes and make amends. Here’s what you can do to stop the worry and anxiety you have about your mistakes. Rumination is not your friend, try these steps to avoid obsessing over you mistakes:

Step 1. Identify your triggers:

Since you have made mistakes in the past it’s natural for you to remember them time and again. If that recollection is upsetting your mind, try avoiding it. Now, it’s obvious that in your present life triggers the memory of your mistake.

So, begin with identifying those triggers. What is it that is reminding you of those days? It depends on what mistake you made. Whether it is related to finance or your relationship, anything that is related to your mistake can be your trigger.

Step 2. Distance yourself from the mistake:

You are not your mistakes and I think I have written this several times. That’s because I mean it! Make a psychological distance between you and your mistakes.

It is something that you did, realized that it was wrong and won’t repeat it again. It ends there, don’t drag it along with you. Learn to forgive yourself. Once you do that the triggers won’t trouble you as much.

Step 3. Distinguish between rumination and problem solving:

Both rumination and problem solving involve thinking about the mistake. What you have to do here is to shift from problematic overthinking to problem-solving thinking.

Rumination involves a lot of blaming and shaming and that’s what you don’t have to do. Think of it as an opportunity to learn from your mistakes. After making a mistake you at least know what you don’t have to do.

That’s one step towards progress. Now you can focus on other ways you can tackle a particular situation.

Step 4. Train your brain:

I know it’s easier said than done and that’s why we need to train our brain. It’s our brain that needs direction more than us, sometimes. Train your brain in a way that you are more self-aware.

Practicing mindfulness techniques can be really helpful in doing so. Get control over your thoughts and find a healthier way to release your stress and worry.

Step 5: Keep a check on your thoughts:

Our thoughts can go out of control easily. Therefore, keeping a check on what we think and feel is a good option. Now, I am not telling you to control what you feel. That’ll be a disaster!

Let your thoughts and feelings flow in naturally but keep looking for errors or cognitive distortions. Because if there is an error you have to correct it right? Keep a check on yourself so that there is no further damage.

Endnote….

Making mistakes is human! Try not to beat yourself up on that. The above-stated steps can help you in reducing the worry and anxiety you might have regarding your mistakes.

Dwelling on your mistakes will only make things worse. You can’t do anything about the mistake, it’s in the past. But you can do something for your mental peace. Try following these steps to stop that continuous obsession.

Take my word on this, try them out, and let me know in the comment section whether it helped you or not. If you see a friend or family member suffering through something similar, share this blog with them.